Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

A new one for me is: "Watch strangers kiss for the first time!" "Watch strangers hug for the first time!"

Yeah, watch me throw my computer out the window the first time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAnjUhQvGi0

Aaron Alexis and Edward Snowden had Federal security clearances. Yet because my new employer put in my name as "Julie" instead of "Julia," my clearance for a non-sensitive position has been held up for 3 weeks and counting. WAY TO LIVE DOWN THE STEREOTYPES ABOUT FEDERAL EMPLOYEES!

This is just sad. I was shopping around, comparing prices and then moved on to actual work and stuff....

http://i.imgur.com/L8rWZaI.png

... like three days ago.

listen buddy

here's how it works.
I send a proof.
you make changes.
i send back a revised version.
rinse-repeat for however many revisions you need til we get to the right place.
so
when you say LOOKS GREAT!
we're done. you have broken the cycle, we have now completed our dance and I get to change partners.

that's when I send you the final copy, which you know becuase it says FINAL

we DON'T then spend another hour updating more artwork with sporadic emails starting 'hey...'

STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I WILL WALK UP TO YOUR DESK AND TASE YOU

Do it. Tase him. Do it.

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110317044305/beavisandbutthead/images/4/49/Beavis_uh-huh.jpg

I'm going up there right now

I will contribute to your legal defense fund.

Filled with foaming at the mouth rage on yr behalf, VegGrrl. I've had that scene play out a hundred times. I'm getting kind of reckless and IDGAF in my old age -- I told one advertiser recently "I thought 'ready to print' meant you'd looked at the ad."

the last one was, 'I have (x piece of artwork) if you want it'

I don't think you understand how this relationship works. I don't *want* any of this shit. You apparently *need* it, so are we doing this for your amusement or mine now

Dear UI designers,

If you have ever written a popup dialogue box where the question goes something like "Are you sure you want to cancel?" and the options are "Cancel" and "OK", then you should be shot. That is all.

Yeah, I don't care if OK/Cancel is built into whatever OS or platform, I don't even care (though someone else might) if the alternative is some stupid longwinded sentence like "If you want to x, press Cancel. If you want to y, press OK." But this way you might as well write "Would you like to lose the last hour's work? Guess which tumbler the ball is under!"

accidentally clicking on a wiki.answers link

e.g.

How do you block wiki.answers?

listen buddy

here's how it works.
I send a proof.
you make changes.
i send back a revised version.
rinse-repeat for however many revisions you need til we get to the right place.
so
when you say LOOKS GREAT!
we're done. you have broken the cycle, we have now completed our dance and I get to change partners.

that's when I send you the final copy, which you know becuase it says FINAL

we DON'T then spend another hour updating more artwork with sporadic emails starting 'hey...'

STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I WILL WALK UP TO YOUR DESK AND TASE YOU

This is the story of my life. Also - if you forget to put essential contact info on your advert, refuse to listen to me when I tell you about paying on time, don't complain when your ad appears late without a contact number. That's your fault.

"excuse me, there's a queue"

well, yes. actually, there are 3 queues, one for the machines, one labelled 'lottery and tobacco' and another which i'm in. if you've queued in the 'lottery and tobacco' lane then i assume that you want either tickets or tabs. if you don't then you are in the wrong queue.

(made worse by the fact that there were 5 people in the wrong queue and 2 of those had joined it after i'd got there. plus only one person serving, at lunchtime.)

Man, a separate line for freaking lottery tickets. Now there's a concept I wouldn't mind seeing brought over here.

We've got that. Really helps when I really need to buy a powerball but there's like a 5 deep line of dorks with sodas.

"excuse me, there's a queue."

"yeah, behind me. just get back there and pray i don't fart."

(i just apologised and moved to the back of the (now longer) queue. but two more staff started serving as i waited so it took no time at all)

wondering why my phone asks me 10 minutes before the standard transition time into BST if I want to update time and date settings then sets them to non-BST. So I woke up this morning trying to work out if the time on my phone was right or wrong since it was the first thing I was going by. Can never remember at the time what the reset to time is supposed to be so wasn't sure fi it had reset or not.

Don't know what dictates when this phone seemingly randomly asks if I want to reset time and date settings or if it is just indeed random. Odd coincidence if it was random that it would ask right at the time (or 10 minutes before) BST normally asks you to reset clocks, which if I'm thinking right is 1am on the transition day.

That was to say my phone asked me if it could update just before it was supposed to do the official time change then effectively didn't/ So instead of updating as expected it remained on the previous thing, - what do you call the alternative to BST anyway BWT? as in British summertime pr wintertime?
I just thought it was looking for me to confirm the update but instead it just wanted to do its random glitch thong.

British summer time (BST) / Greenwich mean time (GMT)

Yeah, should have known that GMT. Just had the phone ask another prompt now that I changed it manually.

google maps. no names on tube stations until you zoom in so close that you can no longer judge how far tube station is from where you are / want to be or whether there's one that's closer.

Charity colectors who hold you up for ages in the street, but can't accept donations, only being willing to sign you up for monthly bank deductions. Get fucked.

^^^

we have some of them permanently camped in front of our office

When this was a newer thing and came off as more of a status brag (before everyone had blackberries or iphones or whatever) my line was "sent from my HELICOPTER"

Had an e-mail saying "sent from my plane" today. From someone who actually has a plane.

People who write 'yer' instead of 'yeah'.

subconscious/habitual public transport percussionists

I was subconsciously doing foot/hand drum patterns on my desk when I read that post

Ever been so angry you're afraid you'll do or say something unforgivable/irreversible/illegal?

I keep typing "knowledge of informations sufficient" instead of "knowledge or information sufficient." ARG.

People who coat themselves in deodorant or perfume while in the office. Bonus IA points if they leave to go out to a meeting straight away, leaving their colleagues to choke on the fumes.

My old boss covered himself in Lynx before leaving the office at 3 every afternoon. He stopped doing this after the public shaming we gave him one day.

People who stick their hand into a clearly closing/almost closed subway door, lack the strength to re-open the subway doors, and then just stand there expecting someone to help them (nb: nyc subway doors are hard to force open, and this practice makes trains late).

iirc it's also bad for the doors and fucks up the motors that close/open them

add full-length sharpened blades to the doors: problem solved

New problem: hand disposal.

Every car could just have a specially adapted Roomba.

people using "bias" instead of "biased"

Ugh, yeah

ATP posted this on their Facebook this morning and set me off

We may be bias but this is a great track off a great f**king album! Fuck Buttons - 'Brainfreeze'

They later changed it to "biast" and finally "biased".

Also wtf with **ing out "f**king" but not "Fuck Buttons"?

hahaha

justifiable onimosity

There's an advert about gum disease on TV at the moment that goes "you wouldn't ignore blood from any other part of your body". Every time it comes on I want to shout "WHAT ABOUT THE VAGIIIIINAAAAAAAAA?"

Both the advert and my own reaction annoy me.

putting incorrect opening hours on your website should be punishable BY DEATH
Yes I really enjoyed that trudge in the rain to be met with a closed store >:(

Service dogs. Wait, hear me out.

I understand service dogs can perform a multitude of activities. They're not just for blind people. But I keep seeing these pups all over the place with people who don't really appear to have a disability.

Ok, see? This already sounds insensitive. "That person parked in a handicapped space and just sauntered right into Target." Let me finish.

I was at the grocery store, and this woman was holding a Chihuahua in her arms. On its back was this little leather vest with a SERVICE DOG patch on it. The hell kind of service dog do you have when you carry it from place to place? It wasn't being a service anything, not any more than a teddy bear could've been.

So maybe some folks have a dehabilitating case of agoraphobia? Maybe the dog keeps panic attacks and anxiety at bay somehow?

A chihuahua?

Over the weekend, Beeps went to a birthday party at the new trampoline center. It's a wonderful place for kids to come, jump into the air and see how many limbs they can break. (Beeps only managed to sprain her ankle a bit, the amateur.) I'm hanging out on solid ground, watching the scene with a mix of fear and fascination when here comes this guy, this dude, wearing shorts and a white cap. He might have been 30, white guy, around 6'1". Looks pretty healthy. He's walking around the children with his own dog, this lemon-colored lab wearing a leather vest with a large SERVICE DOG patch.

The dog was sniffing around these crates at each picnic table, where the kids put their shoes before they go off to the hopping fields. For a moment, I thought the dog was a bomb-sniffer. It was for a moment what I thought in 2001 that 2014 was going to look like anyway. But wait, come on. Sniffing bombs at the trampoline park? How come I've never seen one of these dogs at a basketball game or the horse track? Then I realized that the guy was looking for a particular pair of shoes. He found them in a crate next to ours and then walked over the gate, waving them at some little girl who was likely popping her arm back into socket.

What the hell. I kid about the girl and her dislocated arm, but maybe the dog was for her and not her dad/uncle/whoever? Can you walk around with a SERVICE DOG that isn't yours?

I don't know. I'm well-aware that service dogs cover a large range of people problems - physical and emotion, easily noticeable or invisible to the naked eye - but really. You had to use a service dog to find a pair of shoes?

http://www.nbcbayarea.com/investigations/Frustrated-by-Fake-Service-Dogs-208233211.html

'is this a service animal? what is it trained to do?'

So maybe some folks have a dehabilitating case of agoraphobia? Maybe the dog keeps panic attacks and anxiety at bay somehow?

Yes to both! Also seizure dogs. Dude teaching the dog to find shoes by smell (that's pretty awesome) was maybe training a dog for someone visually impaired?

"Pet peeve," can't believe I didn't use that one.

The chihuahua one, like I said, I'm willing to give a pass on all this Internet judgement I'm making. I'm still not sure how that's supposed to work, but if all laws were based on what I understood, then airplanes would never leave the ground.

But the guy at the trampoline park - he's training the dog in public? Having the dog find the shoes that he apparently couldn't find on his own? I even saw him pulling on the dog's leash in a less-than-professional manner (not hurting the dog, but with the leash wrapped around his palm and with a moderate yank.) And if he was training the dog, where were HIS credentials? Seems like you ought to be wearing a badge or something.

I think dogs are great, and would rather see one at the end of my aisle at the movies than a three-year-old human. But like that TV report pointed out, there's plenty of opportunity out there for people to slip in where they're not supposed to.