OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

was gonna bump Frank's v own thread for this on the grounds that it indeed isn't really music writing... but something drew me towards this one instead

"wank-bond-villain-looking villain, Adolf Hitler"

new display name btw

it's certainly punk grammar

BUY WANK BONDS

Man, if you could buy bonds in wank... imagine the shorts trading on the those.

sad. every clueless girlfriend/cool record dude cliche on one page. what if pomplamooose wrote record revieews

http://alltherecords.tumblr.com/

basically just raises my feminist hackles. yes i have feminist hackles.

But she's not a music writer? Does that really belong here? It just looks like she's having a bit of fun.

This project was my idea, inspired by maybe one too many glasses of wine last weekend, when I was in charge of changing the music. “I can’t believe there are so many records here that I have never listened to. I should try to listen to all of them. And then write about it.” So here we are.

it's in public. it's music writing. a bit of fun is fair game. i don't care if someone is an amateur. i was an amateur for years.

BE COOL ITS JUST A BIT OF FUN

it's in public. it's music writing.

if this is the criteria, then I nominate all Youtube comments

honestly that site probably gets read more than most 'professional' music writing because of its shareability (read: buying into clichés of how women experience music compared to men)

i only skimmed it cos who gives a fuck but the amount of art of pretend ignorance etc going on was bad enough on its own

faux-naive bloggy voice

oh yeah that's the one

https://31.media.tumblr.com/4c0ab27bcc2166acb1a62f7213bf3943/tumblr_inline_n1xwdcUmcR1sauz6x.jpg

the copy of INFINITE JEST and the iPhone and the coffee all in the frame is just too much

yeah but look a Richard Wright book included in sight of the camera

haha that leapt out at me too

coffee, though, really? It's a pretty popular beverage iirc

an iphone, how dare she

they must've spent hours setting up that shot, those fucking [i'm not sure, insert whatever "owns an iphone and drinks coffee and has a copy of infinite jest on bookshelf implies in 2014]

Oh hey, we have finally reached the point where "I don't even own a copy of Infinite Jest" is the new "I don't even watch TV".

lol at whiney being outraged at them owning books, drinking coffee, but totally down w/ the sweatpants

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4q2h9wWsU1qc6hm5o1_500.jpg

sicko renee zellwegger holds four coffees while reading infinite jest on her iphone kindle app.

if this is some kind of nascent blog-to-book deal that's one thing but most of the posts here have like 9 notes, some of them from her best friend

God, reading that blog is like eating (not chewing, eating) that obnoxious soft pink gum that starts out hard but ends up floury and you can't ever take it out of your mouth because it just winds up sticking to everything.

what

Just a suggestion but what if the alltherecords woman actually is that naive? And like "buying into cliches" cos they apply to her? It ws boring so I didn't read much, bt she seemed nice enough.

so this is the end result of compulsory college education. thanks, obama!

There isn't anything inherently wrong w someone (male/female/whatever) not knowing anything abt music, is there?

yes i think you nailed why people might not enjoy this blog, it is because they judge the author for not knowing about music. that is clearly what is happening in this thread.

http://www.stereogum.com/962491/deconstructing-grimes/news/

Don't know if this has been posted yet but I think it is totally the worst piece of music writing ever. Everything about it is infuriating, but nothing more so than the writer's never really qualified assertion that Grimes' "disembodied" singing is "infantilized" and means she isn't a strong female agent. Fuck ascribing literal political content to aesthetic choices. Grimes is great. She can sing like an elven robot if she wants to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DE1EfSZVIA

OK what is going on then?

Of course, Grimes’ cyborg unicorn stance is an updated ideal on the continuum of the asexuality that a certain strain of indie rock values, up to and including twee

So?

wait so is that like an updated buffalo stance

(sorry i started talking abt a new topic.)

Fine by me, that blog wasn't "music writing" in the first place anyway

Seen this being passed about pretty much with this accompanying line every time "shit band but even shittier review"

http://www.nme.com/reviews/the-twang/15140

I just hate that article so much. The writer wants Grimes to be a totally different kind of musician and doesn't even once engage with the album on its own terms.

that twang review is good in an nme eating their own sort of way

the old build em up knock em down?

the twang were awful so i doubt anyone will have much sympathy

uh I don't know what is crossposting with what anymore but julianne is a really great writer who's explained that piece before and imo doesn't deserve to be mentioned with the stuff in this thread

Idk anything abt the writer. It's definitely a competently written piece i just fiercely disagree with it.

Like, i don't want to disparage this writer as a whole and god knows i appreciate the difficulty of writing criticism without overreaching in one's claims, but this particular article struck me as extremely off the mark to the point where i found myself thinking about it tonight, two years after reading it.

Julianne is a good writer sure but this piece is grossly conflating "what I'm hearing and typing" with "the axis of the author's abilities/intentions". Any discussion of Grimes sounding "infantile" has got to acknowledge that her choices on this record come from the fact that it's The Third Record That She Has (Self-)Produced. Ascribing notions of negating-self and erasing-womanness because she is a junior-producer (compared to Carey's male crew of hirelings) is, to me, exploring the extant reaches of divergence between "what you think it is, as a writer-listener" and "what it actually is, as a musician"

On a baseline level, early crit of Grimes' "I made this on Garageband" statements (equal parts disclaimer and statement of fact) led some to believe that she was deliberately pursuing a twee, thin, amateur standpoint; she had nothing but a computer and a keyboard when making this record so save these discussions for your major-label drop-screens, I guess?

I don't think this Grimes piece doesn't belong in a "worst music writing ever" thread but definitely could start its own "Poptimism proved its point many years ago, we all love Aaliyah now, please stop this myopic exclusion of homemade/DIY/reactionary/feminist/transgressive music based on the fact that it sounds 'unprofessional'" thread

*belongs, not "doesn't belong".