people that YELP are scumbags

sometimes i really hate how much yelp makes me hate complete strangers, not healthy, square bowls, 2 stars

there is a vietnamese restaurant i go to probably once every other month or so. it's owned by a family from vietnam and they go to vietnam for several weeks in the winter every year. this year i was there and the guy told me they were going in feb and march since i am a trusted regular but i forgot when they get back so i checked yelp knowing some yelper would have complained about it. lo and behold a one star review saying it's closed until march 25 and they didn't even update their website! GOSH! i know it's not a great business practice to close for two months out of the year but like ugh yelpers. this place is tiny and cash only it's not like closing a domino's you ass.

after the "GOSH!" I went back and re-read it Napoleon Dynamite style and it was very enjoyable indeed

this fucking guy

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2014/03/18/meet-the-man-who-chronicled-his-heart-breaking-love-story-in-yelp-reviews/

It’s a novel and somewhat subversive use of the popular review site, which thrives on cut-and-dry, crowdsourced ratings of things like food and ambiance.

food, ambiance, and butthurt

http://www.yelp.com/biz/vip-room-new-york?hrid=xN6WXZBirTSDSbhklaAP8A

that's why they call it dope, dope

“The salad was fresh. The chicken was baked just right although there were a couple of raw spots. Very flavorful rice and quick delivery”

lol. yelp reviews are so bad now. you need to read a dozen from a given resto just to get a feel for quality and taste

http://www.adventure-journal.com/2014/04/the-aj-list-the-17-best-bad-reviews-of-national-parks-on-yelp/

TADA: a great big hole.

Lots of wonderful point-missing but the one comment that seems quintessentially Yelpish is the one where they have to pay the full, outrageous $25 per car (note, possibly the cheapest price you could possibly pay to do ANYTHING with a carload of people) even though fog was partially obscuring one of the most spectacular gifts which humankind has found in its wanderings around the strange and impossible landscape of this planet.

i am still mad about the national park reviews

there's a cafe around the corner for me that charges $4–5 for one cup of coffee. they are real prissy about making each cup individually, measuring out the water, timing the drip, etc.

i can't fucking stand these places. i'm not gonna yelp about it or anything but come on. the dumpy coffee place down the block from me closed and one of these artisanal one-cup joints went into the space and it really sucks.

― goole, Tuesday, May 29, 2012 2:05 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

totally come around on this joint fyi. it's awesome. they know my name, the owner brings his baby daughter around. it's delightful.

they do a bread plate with butter and preserves that is sooo good

Useful 1, Funny 1, Cool 1

I try to yelp about it now, but isn't it funny how everything works out?

the mount rainier one with the cosby reference was great

they do a bread plate with butter and preserves that is sooo good

― goole, Thursday, April 10, 2014 1:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I bet it's served on a wood plank and is $12.

they do a bread plate with butter and preserves that is sooo good

― goole, Thursday, April 10, 2014 12:50 PM (Yesterday)

you're ruining saint paul

next thing you'll have a face computer

I try to yelp about it now, but isn't it funny how everything works out?

― take a piece of mr. baxter's hand (how's life), Thursday, April 10, 2014 2:00 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I want apple butter (ohh ohh)
Now I'm downin' it

Are you kidding me a fall rut season and no elk in Horseshoe Park?

it's on a piece of slate and costs $3, so, close

i'll cop to ruining st paul tho. anywhere near john ireland or arcade and i am hopelessly lost

it's awesome. they know my name

The people at my regular coffeeshop know my name. I hate when they call me by name, it's a weird unasked-for intimacy. Maybe I should YELP about it.

if they are pros you can ask them to stop

i was told by a barista that the place she worked had a regular who wanted no banter or pleasantries from anyone, just wanted to get his coffee, sit down, read the paper (contrary to their very aggressive customer-service policy). so they obliged him!

Having to say "please don't call me by name" would be even worse than being called by name.

tell them it was never your real name and you'd just as soon protect your identity

http://www.yelp.com/biz/kaiser-permanente-los-angeles-medical-center-los-angeles?hrid=ofBluEE1AF-w3UKq9IKF_g

ha, that's the medical center i go to.

i've had really good experiences with kaiser and that medical center overall.

"Frequent readers of my reviews know I'm s stickler for authentic cuisine. I have studied historical origins of foods and when I visit a spot and see something on the menu that piques my attention .. I quickly order it up. Such was the case tonight.

My little sister and her husband were in town from Southern California, so my older sis and I decided to take them to Moretti's .. which I've never been .. but is a favorite place of my sister's.

I began my meal with a salad featuring "Creamy Gorgonzola and Bacon Dressing" with greens, tomatoes and onions. Rather good dressing and I was quite pleased.

My sister raves about the "Veal Moretti" at this establishment AND my not really knowing what that was?? lead to a dilemna. This was solved by my partner in crime ordering it so we could share the experience.

Being the "stickler" I wanted to try their version "Veal Marsala" WHICH origin is "Scaloppine al Marsala". Every trattoria in Rome offers up a rendition of this dish .. be it veal or chicken .. cooked in a Marsala wine sauce .. but the dish is indeed Jewish in origin .. nonetheless .. it has spread throughout the world and is quite delicious. Moretti's version was no different.

My "Veal Marsala" featured sauteed mushrooms in a rich wine sauce and a side of pasta in red sauce. Despite having too thick of sauce .. traditions ya know .. my "Veal Marsala" was very good. The pasta in red sauce, however, was fair at best.

My partner in crime's "Veal Moretti" was tasty as well .. WHICH ended up being a breaded veal cutlet buried in an "Alfredo" sauce smothered with poached mushrooms. I personally wouldn't have sogged the veal cutlet in a sauce if I were the chef, because the parts that weren't covered were crispy and very flavorful. I wanted THAT part .. but hey that's me. Still .. it was very good."

I can't decide whether "Such was the case tonight" or "the dish is indeed Jewish in origin" is the real standout here. But then again there's "partner in crime" and "I have studied historical origins of foods" and of course the opening reference to "frequent readers of my reviews."

just all the quotation marks

i refuse to eat any veal marsala that hasn't been bar mitzvahed

too bad we didn't get a paragraph on the authentic historical origins of the salad with creamy gorgonzola and bacon dressing

It all starts with a very laissez faire rabbi...

I love St Vincent De Paul!!! To be honest it's not the greatest place to be looking for clothing options. However, their furniture and household goods are a definite plus! I got a bar table here for $7.... Did you read that correctly? $7 bucks man!!!!! Deals!!!

They have a number of creative selections, and the crust is simply scrump-dilly-icious!

Wes L. 4/16/2012
Wtf. The desk staff is ignoring me standing here. Some Cooze is just standing here bent over looking at the computer.

I admire how douchebags cannot seem to keep their douchebagness cloaked for even one sentence on Yelp.

Cooze with a capital C

That word is probably one of the more shocking slurs for me. It's so rarely used that every time it pops up, it's like I have to rediscover it's existence.

It always strikes me as particularly hateful because it rhymes with "ooze" and is slang for vagina.

Yeah, it basically translates as "I hate women, and vaginas, and am an awful person who should die alone"

That word is probably one of the more shocking slurs for me. It's so rarely used that every time it pops up, it's like I have to rediscover it's existence.

this is very otm

Yeah, it basically translates as "I hate women, and vaginas, and am an awful person who should die alone"
--it definitely wasn't designed to be a pants pocket player (stevie)

A useful term in the sense that it quickly removes people from the pool of likely candidates for friendship, respect, mating, etc

i must admit I like reading a good negative review from time to time. more than that even. of course, reviews by obvious douchenozzles are not fun to read. but there are plenty of entertaining tales of genuinely horrible dining experiences (the likes of which i've never had) to entertain you for hours, even for businesses (mostly restaurants) in my metro area.

there's one particular sad gyros place around these parts that has like 40 one-star reviews which detail the most hilariously horrid behavior by the owner/cook.

in one case they sent someone the wrong item in a delivery. the delivery guy came back, demanded that the customer come downstairs to his apt building's front door to return the meal, noting that only when they got the first meal back would they begin preparing the correct one. ?!?!

"There is no doubt that Otto's is a great, classic, establishment. I have met a number of outstanding, classy, sophisticated, women in the lower level bar. Bartenders are absolutely excellent. The bar menu is outstanding & features quality items (not your routine "Bar Food").
Upstairs, where the true spirit of Otto's really shines.
By far, the finest dining experience on the West side of Madison. Quite often I drive by and don't stop, simply because I'm "under-dressed" (Blue Jeans). Honestly, take a date for drinks and Appetizers in the lower level. If the date is going well...take her upstairs to demonstrate your level of sophistication."