when someone commits a speaking error in the heat of the moment, document it here

someone mentioned the movie bruce almighty and someone else said something about steve carrell and a funny scene from one of his movies and someone else said "was it in 40 years a virgin?"

reminds me when my younger brother bawled "VAGINA!" at my nan, during a parlour game that involved naming things - in this case "body parts" - beginning with a specified letter.

my nan said "yes dear, I suppose it is" which was about right.

wasn't really in thread premise tho. man at developers I was visiting today said "exackerbated" surely as a joke earlier. not at all in the heat of the moment. must've been a joke.

I once tried so hard to not office-speak "going forwards" that I said "from this moment on" instead like I'm gandalf.

http://youtu.be/P8pnnVwcPUU

"excavator" pronounced "esscavator," about a hundred times in the last week

My wife said on several recent occasions that my son's school participated in the International Bachelorette program.

"Yeah, it's not exactly rocket surgery."

"rocket surgery"

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WW starts out as a disenchanted immaculated suburban guy working a job he's overqualified for while confronted with very real 21st c problems & ends up takes this really wild ride

― °ᄋ๐ْ ° (gr8080) , Tuesday, March 25, 2014 1:08 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I once had an angry client complain "How can you make such a mistake, it's not rocket salad!" and I laughed, thinking she'd made it up as a joke to take the heat out of the situation, but it turned out she hadn't and that's what she thought it was, and I was just laughing at her getting angry and it made her more angry.

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when someone commits a leafy vegetable error in the heat of ilx, document it here

how dare actors cash in? how dare they! please all actors upload the high standards of your audience. for shame!

― djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, June 5, 2014 5:01 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

turning myself in: i always say "deplete the purpose" instead of "defeat the purpose" and then spend the next few seconds trying to remember what i was supposed to say, often to no avail

also mix up "persecute" and "prosecute" all the time

always confuse my dinner with andre with that movie about the pet seal

pefeat the durpose

Also turning myself in, in reverse: for some reason I always assumed "moreish" meant trendy, of-the-now, or sophisticated in a kinda gauche sense. So when I asked for a second packet of peanuts in a bar and the woman behind the bar said she found peanuts moreish, I was puzzled and then laughing about this with my friends: haha she thinks moreish means something you want more of. Turns out that's what it means. Guess I confused it with modish, maybe.

'Deliberate' becomes 'debilitate' with me.

Co-worker: 'who's doing task X?'
Me: 'Russ*l, N*t and me'
CW: 'that's great threesome if you'll excuse the pun'

.....what pun?

i always say prostate for prostrate

people always say no pun intended when there was in fact no pun! annoying!

or maybe they mean none was intended and they were successful at not doing what they did not intend to do so they are announcing it. i did not use a pun, and no pun was intended.

I accidentally said "I pledge allegiance to the plag" the other day

I always say 'debilitating'instead of 'deliberating'

― monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Sunday, 7 September 2014 04:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Argh wrong thread

― monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Sunday, 7 September 2014 04:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just said "clinical error" instead of "clerical error" i do this often

listen don't put a guilt conscience on me

this happens to me every day because i work with non-native speakers but my favorite one is self-steam because of how true it is.

hahaha, love that

Last night I said "when pinch comes to shove" :/

Stop by later, I have to show you something. I found some golden gems in there.

i accidentally said "barely manilow" the other day and got excited, until i discovered a tribute act already exists by that name :(

That's a good one. My favourite was a Burt Bacharach tribute called Burt Backing-Tracks

they're gonna have a hard time finding a movie that TUOMAS MADE UP...(in his self conscious)

― Ballistic, Tuesday, March 2, 2010 2:16 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"given up the goose"

i want to make sure this isn't just a one...one-on meeting...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s7TCuCpB5c

I said purse-clutching instead of pearl-clutching just now, oops

It's a shit phrase anyway but

"This is the most difficult part and the part that involves the most hair-wringing' *makes pulling motion*

'ya got any tea and flick medicine?'

"Her credentials are unimpeccable - in every sense of the word"

haha that's great

they cannot be impecked

In trying to describe Punishers logo the other day I referred to his "skeleton head".
"... you mean skull", says bf, who now won't let me live it down.

Must have been a glitch inside your skeleton head

confess to having sympathy with ur bf in this situation

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=donald+trump+talking&page=&utm_source=opensearch

me just now when my cat suddenly freaked out and did a wall jump:

parquet!

at this point i have accidentally said "knock me off my socks" so many times that it's now replaced "knocked my socks off" as my default. not that i say it that often. but it's similar to how autoreplace on an iphone can turn into a nightmare when you make the same mistake too many times and apple decides to adjust itself to accommodate your recklessness