Rolling 'this is sexist' thread

what a dumb thread... and yeah, nycnative seems to have a REAL PROBLEM with female musicians suggesting they might genuinely be fans of heritage punk acts.

heritage punk acts

likes

Why did I read that thread. Why. I avoid threads like that like the plague, but I guess I must have been bored and all hepped up on Image Bands.

It's just pointless to have those kinds of discussions over and over, guys like him are never going to shift. It's icky and dumb, but stupid and ignorable, for the most part.

But it's not just one dumb guy on one dumb ILX thread, this is the fucking background chatter that pervades the experiences of "female musicians" and "female music fans" like I talked about repeatedly on the 22 Listens thread.

This was my life every day for the 20 years that I played in bands, the constant microaggressions and undermining. I used to get that shit myself, touring in a band, you spend all day in the van or at soundtrack wearing your dirty old street clothes before changing for the gig, and I cannot count the times that I would do a soundcheck in a Hawkwind or a Stooges t-shirt (because I was at that point A-number-1 Dirty Dronerock Girl) and the inevitable comments from some grunthog going "I bet she couldn't even name a Stooges song" and there is no number of times you can say "actually, this T-shirt was personally given to me by Ron Asheton as a thank you to coming for every gig on the reunion tour" that will actually make you be *accepted* by these Gatekeepers Of Musical Authenticity because it is not about being a "genuine fan" it is about reading as "Female" and what that means to them.

But to answer the question, Yes, that is sexist. But no, it is not just "NYCNative" that is the problem here, it is fucking everywhere.

Not about t-shirts at all, but about Gatekeeping Heritage Punk Dudes, oh yeah:

http://fight-boredom.com/2014/02/20/this-is-another-punk-show-not-a-war/

macho identity politics about this stuff was always moronic, but it's extra hilarious now that we're like 15 years into the internet age and, like, anybody can type "Black Flag" into their phone and hear a song

Like, "I bet she couldn't even name a Stooges song" is bad, but dudes are out here basically saying "Man, I bet Lorde didn't even take the 5 seconds it took to Google 'the Cramps'"

lol yup

http://usd.dx.com/product/sexy-women-multifunction-golf-tee-light-brown-901170364#.UyH_kfl7B8E

"multifunction"

"sexy"

I foolishly thought that was going to be a light brown tshirt with some kind of golf design element.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/teenager-asked-leave-prom-dads-complain-she-sons-214651537.html#yPSioFS

Teenager asked to leave prom after dads complain she would give sons ‘impure thoughts’

A 17-year-old student from the US state of Virginia has told how she was asked to leave her prom when dads chaperoning the event said that she would give the boys ‘impure thoughts’.

The 17-year-old, identified only as Clare, went to the prom for homeschooled students last week. Upon arrival, she says, she was challenged on the length of her dress. After proving that it fit the criteria, she was allowed entry.

She says that once she joined her friends, she was “grossed out” by dads “ogling” them. She says she was approached by an organiser shortly afterwards.

She took me into a corner in the hall way, with another woman, (who I’m assuming was a parent/chaperone) and told me that some of the dads who were chaperoning had complained that my dancing was too provocative, and that I was going to cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts. At this point I said to her that I hadn’t been dancing at all!

She says that security were called and asked to remove her. Her friends, who left with her, were denied a refund.

Clare says in the blog post that she is upset for a number of reasons, but highlights the attitude towards womens’ bodies.

“I was told that the way I dressed and moved my body was causing men to think inappropriately about me, implying that it is my responsibility to control other people’s thoughts and drives.

I am so tired of people who abuse their power to make women feel violated and ashamed because she has an ass, or has breasts, or has long legs.

She adds that if anyone at the event, which was organised by parents of homeschooled teenagers in the area, had impure thoughts, she is not responsible.

I’m only 17, but I can see there’s something wrong about this, please, please tell me I’m not the only one who think it doesn’t matter how people are dressed or how they move their bodies, we should still treat them with respect and decency. And enough with the slut shaming.

I’m not responsible for some perverted 45 year old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on and a big ass for a teenager. And if you think I am, then maybe you’re part of the problem.

Teenager OTM.

homeschoolers

Apparently she's homeschooled too though, if she went to that prom? Anyway, I wish all teenage girls were as smart and lucid as her.

of all the wishes that story could inspire yours seems misplaced and disparaging of other teenage girls.

that girl seems really smart. i hope the organizers feel humiliated by her lucid takedown of why they are shitheads but they probably don't even understand what she is saying

The phrasing "impure thoughts' makes me think this was a religious fundamentalist type of homeschooling event.

^^

there are evangelical homeschoolers and there are liberal hippie homeschoolers. they are very different/

i assumed it was an event for all types of homeschoolers & the conflict arose when the liberal hippe girl showed up and there were way too many evangelical parents running the show

meaning it prob wasnt promoted as an evangelical churchy thing & she was blindsided by attitudes a lot of other kids there have grown up around

still shitty & terrible no matter the explication

of all the wishes that story could inspire yours seems misplaced and disparaging of other teenage girls.

Sorry, that was badly worded, I didn't mean to say "other teenage girls are dumb" rather than "I'm so happy this teenage girl sees things they way they are".

And yeah, regardless of who were the target group of the prom party, I just find it incredible that this sort of Medieval level approach of gender (the sin is in the woman, it's her fault if we're drooling over her) still exists!

it so exists

stupid sexy teens ruining my chaperoning

meaning it prob wasnt promoted as an evangelical churchy thing & she was blindsided by attitudes a lot of other kids there have grown up around

except it's her fourth year going to the same prom

did it say that in the article?

http://www.hannahettinger.com/fuck-the-patriarchy-guest-post-by-clare/

I joined my group of friends, (there were six of us), and told them what happened, they were all appalled, especially considering we’ve been attending this prom all four years of high school and usually wore much shorter dresses then we chose this year.

oic she says so in her blog post xpost

my prom date ended up being the valedictorian of the grade below me

did she make you think impure thoughts tho

i never knew you could attend more than prom!

this was nine years ago. she didn't even come to the afterparty

xpost

i should post pictures to facebook sometime

embarass all my hs friends. anyway, back to more important things

i never knew you could attend more than prom!

oh yeah, of course you can; the school may limit their automatic invite list to a particular class (mine was juniors/seniors) but anyone is allowed in as a date

I went to both junior and senior prom

Me too.

A friend pointed out that the new youtube ad campaign is all about women doing makeup and baking cupcakes

lol true

yeah they're pretty despicable. "be you! choose: baking, shopping, or makeup."

I just find it incredible that this sort of Medieval level approach of gender (the sin is in the woman, it's her fault if we're drooling over her) still exists!

kinda h8 u for not having to grow up in the repressed, evil, damaging environment that i did

(i actually <3 u but i am incredibly envious)

It's very frustrating, especially as the father of a daughter, that in an era where women get the majority of college and graduate degrees (or something close to that), this is still what gets pushed on them (the youtube ads).

Also toddler girls' clothing is pinker than ever with as many hearts, birds and flowers crammed onto it as possible, while boys' clothing is full of trucks, spaceships and monsters.

For reference:

http://www.tubefilter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/subway-ads-youtube-bethany.jpg

TBF, one of the six is at least gender-neutral I guess? (fighting bullies or w/e). At first I was like "oh, one of them has a superhero uniform" and then I realized that one is also about cupcakes.

And even the bully one is "with style" and the confidence one makes reference to "accessories" and involves making a heart with her hands.

my niece had her Senior Ball this weekend. She got sent home for 'excessive cleavage'. as far as I could see from the group photos her cleavage was no worse than other girls, it's just she has a bigger chest than anyone her age.

i don't think schools really think about better ways to handle this kind of stuff. especially waiting for her to arrive at the ball with all of her friends and then have her get sent home like some pariah on what is supposed to be a lovely night

I get sending kids home for being drunk or high but ... idk

the puritanism of it is really fucked up

completely fucked up

yeah that's downright sick imo. where is that?