OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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Voice Media Group is just the WORST

i wish i had a skateboard i could skate away on (Hurting 2), Monday, 18 November 2013 17:04 (ten years ago) link

i doubt they believe half the challops they put out in WCS, it's just for angry clickthroughs.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 18 November 2013 17:05 (ten years ago) link

I was about 13 and somehow acquired a copy of the tape on SST that runs backward on one side and forward on another. I know, right? How creative.

There's a Mudhoney album that does this IIRC.

Sonic Youth's first s/t EP did this. I liked it equally well both directions.

A sort of "Sister Ray" for the mentally handicapped (staggerlee), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 02:58 (ten years ago) link

god, i read my own reviews and cringe (horribly) at my use of adjectives and adverbs.

― Pingu Unchained (dog latin), Friday, November 8, 2013 11:46 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Me too. Sometimes I think that the phrase "good music writing" is a bit of an oxymoron tbh. I mean, you can't avoid adjectives and adverbs. Recently I read a little Flaubert before bed--a translation, mind you--and it paralyzed me for weeks.

Who am I kidding--Pauline Kael paralyzes me, too.

Jimmywine Dyspeptic, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 06:16 (ten years ago) link

I was asked to post this here

http://www.ritaora.com/uk/biography

۩, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 17:34 (ten years ago) link

awesome
"If there is a sense when Rita Ora walks into a room that a star has already been ordained from above then nobody appears to have told the young Londoner and future pop princess herself."

OMFG

My favourite bit so far:

She managed to keep one step ahead of the stop-starts and false alarms of anyone treading tentatively into the shark pond of the London creative elite

Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 17:53 (ten years ago) link

Yeah that really is amazing.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 19 November 2013 17:54 (ten years ago) link

it's like a single page choose your own adventure; in lieu of commas you have to bookmark what you hope are phrase breaks and keep going on

It's got the lot: mixed metaphors, endless sentences, gruesome sycophancy, ludicrous hyperbole. Bio gold.

I'm genuinely fascinated by the mind of a person who thinks this is an acceptable sentence.

The result is a monopoly stronghold on future pop supremacy.

Deafening silence (DL), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 17:59 (ten years ago) link

that is a proper 'ora indeed

but my heart is full of woah (NickB), Tuesday, 19 November 2013 18:00 (ten years ago) link

The bio seems to have been taken down now!

Unsettled defender (ithappens), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:11 (ten years ago) link

Hope you downloaded it!

۩, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:12 (ten years ago) link

Sadly no. Lost to me forever.

Unsettled defender (ithappens), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:14 (ten years ago) link

a scandal as big as the Tories removing past speeches

I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:20 (ten years ago) link

"She might not have been born this way, but she was recognizably named it."

my father will guide me up the stairs to bed (anagram), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:43 (ten years ago) link

Some mortified teenage intern that lurks ilm has probably just gone out to B&Q to buy a length of rope.

tsrobodo, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:48 (ten years ago) link

haha you can still download the pdf from the site via that googlecache link

۩, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 11:52 (ten years ago) link

Her music is the contents of her young brain spilling out into song.

In times of osterity, these Eton-educated poshboys (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 12:07 (ten years ago) link

Downloaded 4 eva

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 12:23 (ten years ago) link

the elegant noise of gentrification

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 12:41 (ten years ago) link

that bio is a perfect summation of rita ora's music tho, almost too perfect

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 14:11 (ten years ago) link

have to say i am pretty unbothered that there is bad writing in an artist bio, those things are written on autopilot in 10 minutes and never designed to be read by anyone let alone claimed as good writing

lex pretend, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 14:15 (ten years ago) link

there's a difference between professional fuckupery and just straight up looking on with a a discernible, barely contained 'wow'.

wanna save this here for posterity:

If there is a sense when Rita Ora walks into a room that a star has already been ordained from above then nobody appears to have told the young Londoner and future pop princess herself. She has not an air or a grace about her. She greets the bar staff dotted in the hostelries of her neighborhood like old friends, mostly because they are. She bumps knuckles with the coat check chicks and management with the same egalitarian smile. Friends stop by for a brief ‘Hi’. Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. There is no mistaking the fact that Saturday night in Notting Hill is brightened by a touch of Rita’s special aura. She might not have been born this way, but she was recognizably named it.

Buzz acts come and go, but the pertinent feeling amongst those that have heard the results of her knockout first round in the recording studio as a bona fide solo star, accompanied by a blue chip roster of production hands, is that the effect Rita Ora has locally is about to translate to the upper terrains of the global pop market. A composite of street-smarts of the metropolitan life she was schooled in and pure, urgent, otherworldly star quality, she makes for a brilliantly contradictory mix.

Rita is one of the few British female singers that has emerged singing the opening bars of her career ready for world star status. So why is she so palpably shy of celebrating herself? "Because, you know what? I might seem confident about all this. It might be all I’ve ever wanted. It might even be all I’m ever any good at. But I am still really, really nervous about it all."

The fact that she has already made British chart history as the vocalist on one of the first ever drum and bass number one singles here, DJ Fresh’s "Hot Right Now", is almost brushed aside. "That was Fresh’s triumph," she gifts the producer, though it's clear her soaring vocals lend the propulsive tune a hefty portion of its personality. "He started a tiny drum and bass record label back in the day, now here he is with its first number one? That’s incredible for him. He owns that."

Regardless, the breakout smash success of her first number one looks very much like the dress rehearsal, the overture or prelude to the main act: Rita Ora solo. If "Hot Right Now" has temporarily rocked the British pop chart, her solo material is about to blow its mind.

Rita Ora began singing as at age six. This is where the magic started: "What drew me most to singing was the fact that I could make a noise that made me feel good about myself. I used to sing poems. It was just about doing something that inspired a reaction. It was about self-esteem, even back then, at a young age. I made a noise, the reaction was positive. Simple as that. I could sing my feelings. It was a new, exciting way of expressing myself. This brand new communication device. I understood the power of it straight away."

Rita was born the second of two girls in war-torn Kosovo at the start of the 90s. Her mother, father and elder sister decamped to London before her first birthday. "I wasn’t made to feel aware of what we had come from," she says, "but obviously when you grow up you get to learn something of what your parents went through to get you where you are today. I owe them everything."

Guided by her innate performance instinct, as well as her developing and hugely impressive powerhouse vocal range, she began dipping her toes into the local music industry in West London as an early teen. She managed to keep one step ahead of the stop-starts and false alarms of anyone treading tentatively into the shark pond of the London creative elite, enjoying notable highs.

Rita has a natural propensity toward mixing street-beats with pop. Her music is the contents of her young brain spilling out into song. The sounds she heard on the streets of Notting Hill, the brassy calypso and raga of Carnival mingling with the ringtone pop emanating from fast food joints; the splash and funk of the locale’s black music history engaging with the elegant noise of gentrification. If she sounds black and white, hard and soft, rich and poor, it is because her world is full of those competing factions too. She just learned to set it all to song. "My first record," she says, "had to sound exactly like my life."

Equally, her brilliantly developing sense of style is a dynamic and deliberate mismatch of high and low fashion. A ball-gown, Louis Vuitton shoes and a biker jacket make perfect sense to Rita’s unique fashion instinct. Costume jewelry is interchangeable with opulent bling. She says working with a stylist "is just like playing dressing up with your friends before you go for a night out, with a few more contacts." Rita loves to rock platinum blonde hair. At the prospect of going brunette, she recalls: "I tried a wig on in Top Shop recently and just thought, never again." She also loves her signature red lipstick, and was delighted to see young fans at her recent London showcase who had already caught on to her signature red smackers. "They were all rocking red lipstick on the front row! Yes. Fierce."

Though Rita is signed to a modeling agency, it is clearly in music where she is about to shine. Her debut UK single "R.I.P." is a thrusting, compelling ode to lost love. Sitting around the peripheral borders of pop, R&B, rock, rave and dusted off with a sugar-coating of immaculate heartbreak, "R.I.P." thunders upon the very first listen. It was written by the current master-craftsman of relationship drama, hip hop connoisseur, Drake: "I had the hugest crush on Drake," she gushes. "Then I met him, sweetest guy ever and it evolved into a great friendship. I can’t believe he gave me such a great song!" The song was produced by the titans of underground/overground crossover British dance, Chase and Status and also features a guest rap from that pocket dynamo, Tinie Tempah. "I wanted to keep it British," Rita explains. "I need to rep for the UK!" Yet for all its invincible, diamond-plated credentials, this is very much Rita Ora’s opening shot, and she really does own it.

Rita’s debut U.S. single, “How We Do (Party),” is an infectious pop-rock party anthem paired with her stunning vocals. The single first premiered on New York’s Z100 on March 23rd and quickly became Just Jared & KIIS FM’s Pick of the Week. Lyrically, “How We Do (Party)” celebrates being young and having fun, as Rita sings, “We're tearing up the town, 'cause that's just how we do" over production duo The Runners' irresistible guitar and drum driven beats. Rita and The Runners have created one of the most addictive tunes of 2012, and "How We Do (Party)" is sure to be an essential on every playlist this summer. "I had to learn my pop instinct," she says. "The lyrics had to be tough because the song is so immediate. I wanted that twist. This is about the feeling of waking up in the morning and wanting to take another whiskey shot," she says, looking embarrassed for all of five seconds, "We’ve all been there. Haven’t we?"

There’s plenty more where that came from. Rita Ora has fashioned a debut album that is ready to stake its claim on the world stage. She has become a huge priority for JAY Z’s Roc Nation. The music icon introduced her personally to the American public with a surprise visit to one of the US’s premier radio stations Z100 earlier this year. "I was so nervous!’ she enthuses "but so excited too!".

The superstar cast of artists that have lined up to work with her reads like an award ceremony of modern urban musical excellence, from the left-field margins right to the heart of mainstream, including Diplo, Switch, Stargate, and The-Dream, in addition to Chase & Status and Drake. The result is a monopoly stronghold on future pop supremacy. "I can’t believe how lucky I’ve been," she says, "that these people have even given me the time of day, let alone clicked with me in making my album." She name drops "Rock The Life" – a ridiculously catchy, mid-tempo R&B growler – and the beautifully delivered ballad, "Love and War" as her other album favorites, before the world picks its own.

It’s time for Rita Ora to dive in headfirst and see how her unique talent plays out. With support slots on the DJ Fresh and Coldplay tours this year she’s ready. ‘I am so nervous,’ she repeats. ‘Now is when I’m put to the test. I don’t even know what to expect. I have to dive in. I’ve just got to do it.'

put your hands in the air if your hot right now

but my heart is full of woah (NickB), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 17:15 (ten years ago) link

(hopefully for a speedy recovery from that one of course)

but my heart is full of woah (NickB), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 17:16 (ten years ago) link

http://www.popmatters.com/feature/176475-black-vinyl-confessions-of-a-music-collector/

On the Hard Day’s Night recordings and others, the Beatles created the template for what we now call power pop. And on that day, in 1972 or 1973, the Beatles’ pop had the power.

The whole thing is pretty dull, really.

Look up the definition of "wasting one's energy" and underneath it is "mocking PopMatters in 2013" pretty much.

Murgatroid, Monday, 2 December 2013 00:34 (ten years ago) link

I've never really read Popmatters (and I guess I won't start). Just kind of stunned by how dull and lacking in any kind of insight that article was.

like reading paint dry

CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Monday, 2 December 2013 01:01 (ten years ago) link

You mean your posts

乒乓, Monday, 2 December 2013 01:02 (ten years ago) link

yes, excuse me, reading your posts dry

CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Monday, 2 December 2013 01:04 (ten years ago) link

sic burn tho

CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Monday, 2 December 2013 01:04 (ten years ago) link

PopMatters has published some good stuff from some good writers (I'm not counting my own work among this, fyi) but the site has a serious quality control issues that make it something of a chore to sift through. Also, an over-reliance on lists, but that's hardly limited to that site.

a fifth of misty beethoven (cryptosicko), Monday, 2 December 2013 03:09 (ten years ago) link

I know that the AV Club, esp their music section, fits into the same category as PopMatters in "not even worth discussing really" but I love how they think that artists writing songs for other fellow artists is a novel idea and worth publishing a listicle about: http://www.avclub.com/article/overflowing-cups-12-acts-who-wrote-for-other-artis-106083

Murgatroid, Monday, 2 December 2013 06:53 (ten years ago) link

hahahaha jesus christ

some dude, Monday, 2 December 2013 06:57 (ten years ago) link

like, i enjoy Evan R's work there and think he's fighting the good fight at a place that has all but given up on covering music, but i kinda wanna put him on the spot and ask if he maybe raised his hand when that thing was coming together and pointed out why a list with 12 artists on it was a bad idea for that topic.

some dude, Monday, 2 December 2013 07:00 (ten years ago) link

love how in that very simple list they still manage to confuse "writing a song for someone else" with "writing a song and then it gets covered by someone else" (Nothing Compares 2 U, I Feel For You -- i only read the prince one so i assume his isn't the only case)

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Monday, 2 December 2013 07:11 (ten years ago) link

very sus that they lead with a picture of Fun and their entry just says the members used to be in different bands, and then compliments them on how they've grown as songwriters

i also enjoy in line skateing (spazzmatazz), Monday, 2 December 2013 07:15 (ten years ago) link

I will say, however, that they should be given props for placing all the entries on the same page and not making the listicle a slideshow as well (as they've always done with these things, and something I hope they continue doing, even if I never read them anymore). It's the faintest praise ever, but still.

Murgatroid, Monday, 2 December 2013 07:25 (ten years ago) link

spazzmatazz and murgatroid posting garbage back-to-back

buzza, Monday, 2 December 2013 07:28 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

http://thequietus.com/articles/14291-warpaint-review

okay, it's not the worst but i don't think i've read a more off-putting final sentence

tench and pike, scaup and snipe (NickB), Friday, 17 January 2014 09:04 (ten years ago) link

Appalling piece. Can't spell psychedelia either.

There's been an irresistible twilight, road movie grind to their music, all half-asleep grooves and stoned humping

mmmmmm

tench and pike, scaup and snipe (NickB), Friday, 17 January 2014 12:33 (ten years ago) link

Lol at equating lack of twitter beefs with reticence.

pearly-dewdrops' bops (monotony), Friday, 17 January 2014 13:05 (ten years ago) link

this might be the worst job anyone has ever done at interviewing

http://blog.thecurrent.org/2013/12/112-words-from-bonnie-prince-billy/

Ronnie James 乒乓 (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 23 January 2014 00:58 (ten years ago) link

lol 'I probably couldn’t tell you anything you couldn’t learn over the Internet.'

j., Thursday, 23 January 2014 01:01 (ten years ago) link


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