Phrases you hate...

Probably said this before, but one of the only phrases I hate are when people say "myself" and "yourself" instead of 'me' and 'you'. you get a lot of English service-industry people doing the whole "Is there anything else I can do for yourself today at all?". The best one I heard about was in a hotel guestbook had written "Myself and my wife had a lovely time". What a cock.

"The room smelled like chestnuts."

Signed,

Me, Myself & Wife

"nuke (x) from space/orbit"

The "myself" thing is the sort of thing people who don't have the best grammar write to sound more educated. I find it kind of cute and it doesn't really annoy me.

I guess the same thing can be said about "May I please help the following guest" though.

I sometimes hear americans saying "I'm going to have" or "I'm going to get" when ordering food/drinks instead of "may I please have or get if it's not too much trouble?"

― conrad, Friday, November 15, 2013 3:51 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I love the notion of saying "if it's not too much trouble?" in a fast food scenario.

I definitely say "Could I please get"

It's almost to the point sometimes where I think too hard about not saying "I'll take..." that when the cashier asks me what she can get for me today, I say "... ... CHESSEBURGER."

The "myself" thing is the sort of thing people who don't have the best grammar write to sound more educated. I find it kind of cute and it doesn't really annoy me.
this is called overcorrection iirc and it's a real sort of failed aspirational thing that some people do
cute is not a word i would use to describe this behavior but it's interesting it's being framed that way

this is like the sociolinguistics corpus collection thread tbh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXPJOUD7G0

lady on the phone just did the whole pacific/specific thing TWICE. that one doesn't annoy me so much. as Hurting says, it's kind of cute.

cute? really?

i dunno. cute isn't the word i guess. it's just... well i'd never want to correct anyone who says it twice in a sentence.

"the phrase that pays"

The "myself" thing is the sort of thing people who don't have the best grammar write to sound more educated

Guess which self y'all can go fuck

and thats from myself and four million irish ppl

Also can i get a little less preciousness about phrasing when ordering food, or when speaking in general, language is living art and yourselves all need to learn to appreciate the valid ways a message gets flung atcha

Uh im not rly mad i just thought that was a reasonably snappy 'self' line tbh

But srsly the meself, yourself, himself thing is an irish thing from the gaeilge that was brought with us into forced anglicisation (immeasurably improving the language, obv) and mé féin is iirc a more formal usage than mise and it may well be that this is the root of it in more formal contexts from ourselves.

So in conclusion, while some people disapprove of the usage...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsLfa9RsV9Y

Travelers cast wary eye as storm moves eastward

Oh, I'd bet they don't.

Though kudos to the ... Anchorage Daily News? ... for at least giving a shot at illustrating the cliché.

"how are you?"
"oh, i'm here."

Just giving you a shout.

_______ porn

especially if it's not actually porn

that's what i mean! it's attributing a largely inaccurate quality of titillation to the noun modifying it. people just want more excuses to use the word "porn" i guess

celibacy porn

nounporn

give me good old fashioned sex porn any day.

nouns are some of the most arousing parts of speech

interjections have the porn market cleaned up though let's face it
oh! ah! uh! ooh! wait!

The first time I remember being aware of the "___ porn" construction was during the housing bubble, when it seemed like shows and magazine features and the like about oversized homes were suddenly everywhere, and I thought "Real Estate Porn" was actually a great descriptor because it captured the vulgarity of it all. Now it's definitely overused and has lost its bite.

Not to mention it takes away from actual real estate porn where participants are eager to show off their open house.

i can't even with all these feels

"Man Cave"

"hot mess"

"eyeballs"

In content meetings about our online readership, I hear questions like "How do we get more eyeballs looking at the page and how do we get those eyeballs to stay on the page?"

And I'm like, I don't know, don't advertise at pirate or purple people eater conventions?

"meatspace"

"hot mess"

― nackt nacht (doo dah), Monday, December 16, 2013 7:01 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hate this so much. or hot minute.

Apropos

'A mail' instead of 'an email'.

Every time someone uses "blue pill/red pill" I don't know whether to punch through a wall or cry.

Depends on which pill you choose.

And whether the "wall" I want to punch through is the wall of illusion.

"Too soon?"
"tough on crime"
"That's right, I said it"
"first world problem"

idgi -- what's red pill/blue pill?

http://www.hometalkies.com/lucia/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/matrix.jpg

Metaphor from Matrix, favored by libertarians, bitcoins, and MRAs, all of whom are basically the same people.

huh. i don't encounter any people of those groups on a regular basis and i fell asleep during the matrix. what does it imply?

look, do you want to take the red pill and google this for yourself, or take the blue pill and remain blissfully in the dark?

-let's table this for now

lol for a sec I thought you meant our red pill/blue pill discussion