OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Duncan Sheik was never very good with sequels

"Perry almost pushes me out of the realms of heterosexuality"

i don't like her music but dude, GIS

This guy's a prize specimen. So much fear, ignorance and contempt masquerading as "yeah I went there" truthbombs.

that god-awful Crazy Frog

Finally someone's had the balls to call out Crazy Frog.

This guy is terrible as a music reviewer, but as a writer he expresses what he has to say - maniacal misogyny - with admirable vim and vigour.

"he's so good at misogyny"

WHY DOES HE KEEP ITALICIZING SONG TITLES

"If you see someone on a train wearing a Lady Gaga shirt you should probably give up your seat to them because they are clearly musically challenged."

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tina-Fey-giving-herself-high-five.gif

the crazy frog album is really funny and "axel f" is a classic

WHY DOES HE KEEP ITALICIZING SONG TITLES

― my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Friday, November 8, 2013 2:15 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

think it would be the person who sets the house style of the paper that did that

This may say more about my UK suburban lifestyle but I don't think I've ever encountered a Lady Gaga fan irl.

otm:

This guy's a prize specimen. So much fear, ignorance and contempt masquerading as "yeah I went there" truthbombs.

― Deafening silence (DL)

we have a guy at my local alt-weekly who kinda writes like this. it's maddening.

like, what publication allows a Gaga review to go near the "is she a man" thing, much less quip "I've got $50 on yes." ugh, fuck this dude and whoever publishes him.

more:

http://i.imgur.com/70v73Dq.png

love this guy

TS: Thicke's "unambiguous misogyny" vs Tyson Wray's unambiguous misogyny

"their" right to choose.

like he's only talking to men

what % of people who have enjoyed the music of Robin Thicke in 2013 know or care who his dad is?

Tyson Wray doesn't seem to have much interest in how music sounds

Captain Save-a-Thicke

His songs amalgamate WHAT to the artistic creativity of a singing fish, Tyson?

Ugh. (Universal)

I'd love to see the research paper which proposes that rubber fish can sing.

you've obviously never met billy.

http://diztopia.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/11152004.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHchmWsrfUo

In Tyson Wray's world, every musician would be called Big Mouth Billy Bass.

now i have Robin Thicke singing "Tight Lines" in my head

re: Gaga / Perry, I wonder which is the higher rating: 1 star flush left or 1 star flush right

Want to read more tyson wray

http://thegrillandbarrel.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/what-the-music-industry-can-learn-from-the-ale-industry/

only 200 words but packs an impressive amount of chuckleheadedness into that small space

http://tysondwray.tumblr.com/

The title track is a vociferous number characterized by curling breakbeats, frantic snares and Taylor’s signature penchant for meticulously clipped R&B samples. “Werk” follows the lead with a breakbeat formation, but employs a bulbous bass line to lead the assertive vocals through a sea of skittering hi-hats layered over pulsing cowbells. The third original, “Give In To You,” is held together by a relentless drum roll powering through melancholic chords and inconceivable vocal cuts. French Fries’ rework of “Bash” is rendered with a big-room aesthetic, its marinated grooves edging delicately through more spacious territory. Rounding off the release is Isotonik’s take on “Give In To You,” which rings reminiscent of a 90s warehouse rave with frenzied synths and heavy bass lines; however the culmination wanes in authenticity and results in a maladroit number that falls misplaced amongst it’s more restrained counterparts. There’s arguably little innovation within Bash as Taylor simply weaves his regular aural artillery, but it’s his scrupulous composition and predilection for subtle progression that keeps his work emotive, novel, and authoritative over any dance floor — a formula that’s showing no signs of going stale.

the boy likes adjectives

Everything is just so determinedly middle-of-the-road, one can only picture a dotted yellow line while listening to it.

^ this is great

inconceivable vocal cuts

a formula that’s showing no signs of going stale

It's easy to misjudge Rob Schneider.

Classic tyson wray

Everything is just so determinedly middle-of-the-road, one can only picture a dotted yellow line while listening to it.

^ this is great

― Tip from Tae Kwon Do: (crüt), Friday, November 8, 2013 10:22 AM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol this is actually good

god, i read my own reviews and cringe (horribly) at my use of adjectives and adverbs.

Lol really? The review isn't awful but "i'm gonna call something mor and then get this compare it to the literal middle of a road oh the wit" is some weak obvious zinging imo xp

I mean its not tyson wray public transport zing level

At least he is trying to describe what the music sounds like though, if ineptly. I'm more sympathetic to that passage than the ones in this thread that involve grand pronouncements about how the music fits into some meta-cultural narrative the writer has just invented, involving tropes about hipsters or the prog/punk divide or whatever.

It's not terrible, not brilliant. I was just taken aback that that line was being singled out when "clever" riffs on "middle of the road" are almost as cliched as the phrase itself

middle of the road is cliche but the imagery after is funny/clever

http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2013/11/giorgio_moroder_dj_daft_punk.php

"Hailing from northern Italy, Moroder is basically a G."

http://flavorwire.com/424281/camp-is-for-everyone-r-kelly-and-the-evolution-of-trash/

can i just http://observer.com/2011/03/tyler-coates-man-who-tweeted-about-being-trapped-in-an-elevator-speaks/

tbh im worried i just wrote the worst review of 2013...can some objectively tell me if the review of 'it hurts' by creeper_ on here is awful:
http://www.thisisfakediy.co.uk/articles/features/tracks-broken-bells-bombay-bicycle-club-more/