Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

Dear dog owners,

Autumn is an especially magical time of year to let your dogs crap on footpaths and not pick it up. Within an hour or two, the offending item will be covered in dead leaves just like the rest of the footpath, making for an extra special surprise for a pedestrian.

For bonus points, when they finally find something stuck to their shoe, they'll think, "eh, it's just a leaf." They may pick it off right away and get unexpectedly thumb-deep in dogshit, or maybe they'll pick the dry outer bits of leaf off, think the rest is NBD, and a day later slowly realise that the terrible rotting excrement smell in the office is coming from somewhere very nearby, and maybe everyone else has already worked that out...

(starts on third application of hand sanitiser)

I get the even worse comment from one of my managers who'll roll by my desk when I'm in the middle of finishing up a project and say, "It's five o'clock! Go home!"

I have two line managers who form a tag team where one of them tells me I have to totally make up every minute of time I spend at a weekly medical appointment and one of them comes round at 5:20 going "why are you still here?" as if being at work after 5 is a sure indication of being up to something (to be fair there was one coworker before my time who had the keys to the building and... yeah I probably shouldn't talk about that on the public internets)

so last night I saw Nine Inch Nails (it was ok - I was not in the greatest of moods, had a bad week). I wasn't sure who the opening act was (as at the time I bought tickets, it was TBA), and I asked my friend, and she said "Gary Numan and Godspeed You Black Emperor", which I thought was weird as no other leg of the tour had more than one opener, and arena shows don't run very late generally. But I figured she knew more than me.

After Numan played, of course, NiN came out, and my research clearly shows that when they announced on the net who the opener would be for NiN, they clearly listed Numan, and the dates for GYBE ended on 10/29 and wouldn't resume until mid-November. So it was never announced that they would play.

Friend was posting all angry on FB and talking about how pissed she is that they didn't play. I'm kinda like...so you're pissed that you can't read?

this one dude who creates pleased-with-himself spreadsheets full of embedded formulas and colorcoding and managed print areas so it all looks lovely and uniform that are otherwise completely incomprehensible and the only way to get any useful information from it is to show it to a coworker and say, um, does this mean what I think it means or is this something else?

I mean on top of the fact that the task I'm performing doesn't really require a spreadsheet at all - I just need a list with titles and quantities on it.
Instead I get a quantity column, and another column full of random 1's that is supposed to indicate...something...and rows of titles and quantities showing 0 *and* a 1 in the weird column and the color coding is supposed to indicate something else and it's like, the Excel Awards for Excellence Judging Panel is over *there* -- I just need information, buddy. I mean, it's great if that spreadsheet serves him some purpose in his own office but jesus christ how about editing it for comprehension's sake

it drives me insane

Oh and in the past we've requested simplified versions and he has refused. They're like his children or something idk

Sounds like the kind of guy who would be into lifehacks

I think I'm that guy, sorry.

Mine all make perfect sense though.

i'll take yours over this guy's

I should have a spreadsheet battle with him.

I get the even worse comment from one of my managers who'll roll by my desk when I'm in the middle of finishing up a project and say, "It's five o'clock! Go home!"

― pplains, Friday, November 1, 2013 8:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's a more senior guy in my office who rolls by and says "Go home and see your family." He's single. If he had a family, he would probably understand that there is no way I would be staying in the office late if I had the option to go home and see my family at that moment.

That dude needs a summary tab auto-updating the info you need in a distilled format. Feel free to send it to me and I can try and then you can show it to him and be like "I did this, can you keep this summary page on there? It'll be no extra work for you" :P

lol I should totally do that

There's a more senior guy in my office who rolls by and says "Go home and see your family." He's single. If he had a family, he would probably understand that there is no way I would be staying in the office late if I had the option to go home and see my family at that moment.

I thought you were heading for "If he had a family, he would probably understand why I'm still at the office."

ha

(me in five years)

Take my wife... please!!!

that what i thought too

totally rational but howsabout when you're at the pharmacy to get your emergency replacement anxiety pills and the dude in front of you at the Pickup line is actually dropping off instead of picking up, then asking detailed questions about how much it's going to cost and it winds up taking like ten minutes when all yo uwant to do is pick up two prescriptions that you called in in advance.

i use pharmacies to work on my anger issues

there's always some annoying motherfucker ahead of you at a pharmacy

There's always some annoying motherfucker ahead of you EVERYWHERE

Never mind all that..

What about joining a longgggg queue, and 15 mins later you are just about at the head of the queue now, and you look behind you and there's nobody joined the queue after you did. I hate that.

I like the one where you are waiting in a huge queue and you get right up to 2nd in line, and the person in front of you starts spacing out, and the cashier/clerk/customs agent is going "next in line PLEASE!" over and over...

What about the one when there's only one till open and a long queue and just when you get to the front of the queue they open another till

the one where ppl in front of you in a queue won't move up & the gap ever widens & when they do move it's like an inch, and they's so laconic & oblivious & you just want to PUSH THEM FORWARD SO HARD shouting AGGGHH WOULD YOU MOOOOOVE FFS

And then people join the queue in front of you..

the one where all the queues are long and you're past the end of the conveyor belt for ages and nobody opens a new till, and as soon as your queue moves forward so you're between two belts and can't get out so fast they open one

or the EVERY TIME where you're waiting for ages at the back of a queue with 2 items in your hands and as soon as they open a new line some bastards appear from nowhere with trolleys full of a week's shopping and roll in ahead of you

trying to be less angry but not gonna happen as long as there is shopping and commuting to be done

was in LIDL 2 days ago and approaching tills at a quiet time of the day, so one of the 2 girls on tills decides to go off and run a message or something as I approached. Not sure if she said something before she went cos I had a walkman on, I just assumed she was closing the till.
But she came back after I had all my stuff on the conveyor belt and one person behind me. So everybody gets to go through till before me as the one person ahead of me has been doing a major weekly shop. Lovely.

that little fucking x in the top corner when looking at individual facebook posts. does it mean 'close' like every other top-right x in the whole world? no, it's FLAG THIS POST.

if my co-worker pops his big bird head up over the cube one more time to ask me a question im gonna punch him in the eye

Big bird head!

His round curly head pops up every fucking two minutes...its like a slow motion whack-a-mole.

we use skype to ask each other questions despite sitting 3ft apart.

the guy has been here six months and asks me the same fucking questions every day, "what do i do here? whats this guy asking for?" ASK THE FUCKING GUY NOT ME.

we use skype to ask each other questions despite sitting 3ft apart.

― koogs, Thursday, November 7, 2013 9:17 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah we have Lync and he doesn't use it. Just likes to rise from his fucking nest.

and he eats these giant apples everyday...crunch, chew chew chew. GRRRRRRR.

i keep expecting him to start pecking at it and to start pulling strings out of his clothing to touch up his birds nest.

lol forever

JUst wondering what to think about workmen spending 3 days or something sticking an unwanted railing up the outside wall of my stairwell when there was an existing one up the inside of the stairs. Then while I was out this afternoon it was removed. I think I said something about finding it a bit claustrophobic but hadn't reported that to anybody.
Just seems a major waste of time and energy to do that & now there are nuts sticking out of the wall.

Thought it odd enough that they moved the railing from the inside of the landing to in line with the first step up from there. They said it was to prevent tripping, like over the edge of teh step or something. Seems very over protective. & time consuming and bound to cost something. Weird way of budgeting.

Asked a co-worker yesterday to update a marketing document, and in doing so, she changed it so that one of our product features available in the UK was instead offered in "Britain." Not even GREAT Britain, just "Britain." My mind boggled.

I would wager that most Americans could not explain the differences and/or relationship between Great Britain, The UK, Scotland, England, etc.

I call it "Greater Britain," just like the phonebook.

i call it "The Emerald Isles"

How big is the phonebook for Great Britain anyway?

4 pages, 1 for each place

I would wager that most Americans could not explain the differences and/or relationship between Great Britain, The UK, Scotland, England, etc.

That's a bet you would win. I only know the difference bc I've made a concerted effort to learn it.

smdh

@ phil's coworker, not u carl ;)

my last name is p3nny & its common that ppl accidentally call me by my last name bcz they are easily confused idk but it annoys me

TWICE i was addressed to my face as p3nny by 2 coworkers who I have worked with for 10+ years & say hi to almost every day

COME THE FUCK ON

they called her... VEGGIEPENNY

I called our neighbor Mrs. Hill yesterday even though she's actually Mrs. Hall. Then I called her Leah when her name is Lydia.