Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

Yeah I get around all that by being antisocial and not knowing anybody.

People standing on our stoop can look into our front windows and see that there are people home, and sometimes actually see me sitting on the couch, so not answering the door for strangers (I do sometimes - depends on my mood and if I'm the only one home) takes on an extra exciting "fuck you" element.

The last JWs who knocked on my door were escorted to the foyer by me and shown the big NO SOLICITORS OR HAWKERS sign at the door, told 'See that? It applies equally to you and the guy who tries to buy old gold from the senior citizens. Now go away.' I opened the front door, shooed them out and did a 140-char lap of victory on Twitter.

The door-knockers could be ppl who live around here and I should be nicer but I see those tracts and the nice old church lady faces with shining young ppl accompanying them and I feel rage at all that is beautiful about people being turned toward this delusional and destructive end.

I think my otherwise lovely neighbour downstairs lets ours in, because she's some kind of Christian.

Phone company texted me at 8am on Saturday morning to say my bill was coming up due in 5 days. Haven't heard from them since. Great, thanks for waking me up, jerks!

people who say "a minute" to mean a long time

"man i haven't been to that place in a minute"

"so it's been a minute since your last album, what have you been up to since then?"

lololol I've been enjoying and employing that construction lately. For at least a minute. Sorry (not sorry) Tracer!

Never heard that one.

You have to say "a hot minute".

for some reason i have no problem with HOT MINUTE whatsoever.

how about minutes that take place in New York.

Yeah I definitely picked up "in a minute" from in orbit and I think the hoos

A lady who used to work in our building years ago popped in and said to my boss, "I haven't seen you in a MINUTE!" and my boss was confused.

That "minute" thing is very confusing to my British self.

I think my otherwise lovely neighbour downstairs lets ours in, because she's some kind of Christian.

my parents are "some kind of Christian" and have no patience for doorstep proselytisers fwiw, though once my Dad did try to out-Bible them with earnest questions and Bible passages to hunt out contradictions, except they were just very pleased to talk about the Bible a lot and were on the doorstep for hours and threatening to come back to continue the discussion

guh, feeling brainwashed capitalising bible but it looks wrong otherwise

"That 'minute' thing is very confusing to my British self." = I hear it very occasionally but not enough for it not to make me go "whuh?" every time

Why, yes, Google. Indeed I was searching for something published on the Internet between Jan. 1, 1907 and Dec. 31, 1910. I wanted to read what Mark Twain's initial review was of "Breaking Bad". Who knew he was suing for infringement based on turning the raft into an RV?

people who say "a minute" to mean a long time

"man i haven't been to that place in a minute"

"so it's been a minute since your last album, what have you been up to since then?"

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 1 October 2013 14:52 (2 days ago) Permalink

I feel like there should be a name for this -- words/phrases that get used in an ironical way to mean their opposites, but then get so heavily used that the sense of irony is lost.

it's called politics.

I've been thinking about sarcastic opposites lately, also from the phrase "not trying to [do a thing]" because I did some flyer-handing-out as part of that campaign and people going to the subway at 8am are NOT TRYING TO SEE YOU, for sure. I decided it's an intensification. Because you don't have to "try" to see a thing, you either see it or you don't; and when you deliberately don't look at something right in front of you it's like, not only are you not seeing it, you're not even TRYING to see it...

do u see?

I say "in a minute" and it's never been ironic

words/phrases that get used in an ironical way to mean their opposites, but then get so heavily used that the sense of irony is lost

always have to stop and think for a minute (= a long, long time) about which meaning of "coin a phrase" is the original

there are probably more but that's the one I most often try to put in a sentence and then find myself hurriedly rephrasing to avoid

Wait what's the other meaning of "coin a phrase"?

So I was thinking that it originally meant "to invent a new phrase" and is now mainly used ironically to mean "to drag out a hackneyed old phrase" and now on the rare occasions you hear the former usage it may even be doubly ironic in that it's used to signal something so lame and clunky that nobody else has ever wanted to say it, but I've totally confused myself about which is the original, again

don't mind me

i always say "to quote a phrase" unless i'm sure i'm the first one saying it -- then it's "coin."

Here's my two cents. If you want to quote me you're going to have to give up a coin.

also from the phrase "not trying to [do a thing]"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvYIpa1Ulvw

someone at work keeps leaving the microwave with 17 or so seconds left on the clock so I have make an extra key press to zero the timer before I can start.

This happens at my job EVERY DAY.

Mine too. We have a running joke about it.

"What time is it?
*glances at microwave*
"It's 17 o'clock."

Is there a significance to 17 seconds? I mean didn't think you could see a level of done-ness to an item being microwaved to that degree but haven't used one in a while or is it standard for the timer to go off 17 seconds early to give you a chance to get to the thing being cooked, not thinking you might be hanging around the door instead of on the other side of the room or whatever.

It's indicative of the person who left it. The microwave isn't even fast enough - this person needs their food NOW NOW NOW. Their time is worth gold, their satisfaction is the only thing that matters. Considering that someone else may need to use it afterwards is way down the list of priorities, if on it at all. Their parents probably never made them clean up after themselves.

it's not always 17 seconds (but was the last time). the button adds 30 seconds each time so if you want a non-multiple of 30 then you have to stop it.

(17 seconds = cure album title, i've just realised)

my microwave at home goes

0:30
1:00
1:30 then
2:30
3:30 etc
annoying if you want 4:00

and you have to twist the knob a long way go get it to increment 10 seconds - going to 4:00 manually takes about 4 whole revolutions. time-saving device?!?!?!

Sometimes you walk away from the microwave and you walk back and the shit is bubbling like crazy or something so you stop it before it goes any further

And then you hit the clear/reset button.

I like "in a minute," and "not even trying to hear that!"

i'm not trying to go to jail today

http://scraphacker.com/bowler-hat-lamp/

what the fuck is this fucking shit

and i thought i was going to regret packing all of those bowler hats

everything about this aesthetic makes me want to murder

That seems like a waste of perfectly good hats.

how about a fedora version?

All you need to know.

That's gonna be something to explain to the insurance adjustor once the smoke clears.

ha. this place here, london one, the black one in the left half of third picture down, is around the corner from me and has one in the downstairs window.

http://weburbanist.com/2007/10/05/cramped-urban-living-9-of-the-narrowest-city-houses-in-the-world/

(it has kind of a shop-front window despite being only 5ft wide. they change the contents of it from time to time - lego haunted houses around halloween, for instance)

• Downloaded song from YouTube video.

• Make own movie using song.

• Upload video to YouTube.

• YouTube mutes audio because song is copyrighted.

I GOT IT FROM YOU, DAD.

People who stop at such a distance from drive-through windows that they have to open their car door to do their transaction.

Saw that happen at my corner liquor store and immediately thought Oh No, he's getting robbed.

Don't know why (A) someone would rob a liquor store through the driveway (B.) in broad daylight (C) with their driver's side door open, but there you go. Just something that isn't supposed to be done.

In the gym with my locker open getting dressed. plenty of open lockers in the general vicinity. Motherfucker chooses the one right next to me