Disgusting savages; list them ALL itt

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I got in the elevator with two women in my work building. One of them, a healthy-seeming woman who seemed to be in her mid-20s, went up only one floor. The remaining woman said, "Ugh, 1 floor, are you kidding me?"

I lied and told her that the other woman had bone cancer. For the rest of the ride she sputtered and went, "Oh no! Oh my god! I'm such a jerk!"

― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Tuesday, September 24, 2013 4:25 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark

this made me lol very much.

estela, Tuesday, 24 September 2013 02:54 (ten years ago) link

Doc Casino, if only he were that funny.

He did eventually quit and go back to being a normal drug addled 20-something living in a college town, so I think the story had a happy ending.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 24 September 2013 13:06 (ten years ago) link

three months pass...

people who say "a), blah blah blah" but never follow it up with a b), c) etc.

Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Saturday, 18 January 2014 14:49 (ten years ago) link

goddamnit motherfuckers yall need to be shoveling there are laws about this shit if you can afford a home you can clear the fucking walk

j., Saturday, 18 January 2014 15:26 (ten years ago) link

oh, if you insist

mh, Saturday, 18 January 2014 19:08 (ten years ago) link

dear new yorkers it is snowing sideways in a 25mph wind stop with the fuckin umbrellas

mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 19:39 (ten years ago) link

four weeks pass...

no talking in the laundromat

get in, get out, fold yr stuff if u must. do not stand in the way chatting

mookieproof, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 01:42 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

Guy at the gym last night, 40-something, goatee, macho, in the steam room with his wife. First, he was "suggesting" his wife do things: Why don't you sit down right here. You wanna lay down, scoot your butt against the wall, and put your feet up the wall to stretch? Then he paced around the tiny room, bumping into people's feet and getting in the way of the door.

But what really set him apart was that he brought in a bottle of some kind of essential oil (eucalyptus? mint?) and after his wife declined to rub some on her neck (??) he doused the steam vent copiously with it. I mostly can't smell, but the mintiness or whatever was overwhelming and it drove me and a couple other people out immediately.

Later he went up to a guy in a shower stall and said, "'ey, can I have some of your shampoo? I forgot mine."

Je55e, Friday, 25 April 2014 18:45 (nine years ago) link

The shower stall thing reminds me of something that happened to my friend his freshman year of college. He was taking a shower in the dorms (row of shower stalls with a vinyl curtain in front of each), and after he finished and was walking away his (randomly-assigned) roommate of the time stepped two-thirds of the way out of a shower stall to say, "Bye, Sean!"

a strange man (mh), Friday, 25 April 2014 19:43 (nine years ago) link

Gyms and locker rooms are full of disgustingly savage behavior

Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Friday, 25 April 2014 19:58 (nine years ago) link

the alpha and omega of this thread are still dudes who don't wash their hands after pissing or shitting.

Hunt3r, Friday, 25 April 2014 22:11 (nine years ago) link

alphas don't have time for that prissy shit

j., Friday, 25 April 2014 22:26 (nine years ago) link

Fred Savage

, Friday, 25 April 2014 22:42 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

people who clip their fingernails on public transportation

― that sex version of "blue thunder." (Mr. Que), Tuesday, January 26, 2010 9:45 AM (4 years ago)

guy next to me in the library is doing this right now

clouds, Friday, 16 May 2014 18:22 (nine years ago) link

there was a possible urban legend about a social studies teacher at my middle school clipping his toenails in front of the class as the kids were doing worksheets

a strange man (mh), Friday, 16 May 2014 18:30 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

people who don't clean up their dog shit. i mean, fuck you. 100% pure selfish bullshit, you want to have a dog but you're too lazy to clean up after it. i want to track these people down and take a shit on their front porch, or start throwing my kid's diapers on their lawn

marcos, Friday, 6 June 2014 13:36 (nine years ago) link

people who ride through quiet neighborhoods late at night on really loud motorcycles

₴HABΔZZ ¶IZZΔ (Hurting 2), Friday, 6 June 2014 13:45 (nine years ago) link

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/23/world/europe/a-forensic-approach-to-a-sidewalk-nuisance.html?_r=0

^^^ the future of crimefighting IMO

Doctor Casino, Friday, 6 June 2014 17:47 (nine years ago) link

haha

Cities have tried everything from the postal service (a Spanish mayor mailed the stuff back to dog owners) to shaming (some cities have publicized the names of offending owners) to bribery (some parks in Mexico City offered free Wi-Fi in exchange for bags of waste).

i definitely like the first option. send that shit back to them. wipe that shit on their cars, front doors, whatever.

marcos, Friday, 6 June 2014 17:50 (nine years ago) link

before the city started rehabbing the bloomingdale trail (a disused raised-earth/concrete train track popular w/ joggers), a friend and i were walking on it and discovered an enormous pile of plastic bags filled with dog shit that someone had been systematically tossing up onto the trail instead of throwing it in the garbage. the fucking laziness of people.

clouds, Friday, 6 June 2014 17:59 (nine years ago) link

oh yea i see bags of dog shit laying around almost as much as unbagged

marcos, Friday, 6 June 2014 18:02 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

I try as hard as I can not to judge others for their actions. However I've more recently drawn up a very short list of unforgiveables:

1. People who clap on the beat (bar certain exceptions like Latin rhythms etc)
2. People who leave washing-up liquid to dry on plates and forks
3. People who assume the area code on their telephone number is automatically implied, especially if they live in London - As in: 'Yes my number is 2720362'

3kDk (dog latin), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 10:20 (nine years ago) link

3. This means you hate old people.

fields of salmon, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 17:39 (nine years ago) link

Or people from Delaware, where there is only one area code.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 17:44 (nine years ago) link

4. People who get tattoos of area codes that are subsequently rezoned

fields of salmon, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 21:29 (nine years ago) link

I worked at Pizza Hit briefly in college and corporate would send out management briefings with like, monthly buzzwords and the one in use while I worked there was STELLAR and our weird uptight mid-20s eyes on the corporate prize manager would walk around saying STELLAR like a broken freaking record.

*has thoughts about nuking society from orbit that would probably get me handcuffed and treated mercilessly and violently by law enforcement with if i were to type them out*

llano del rio (get bent), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 21:37 (nine years ago) link

"Wow, that's Proper Rustic!™"

clouds, Tuesday, 5 August 2014 21:45 (nine years ago) link

wanted to post the italo-disco song "superustic man" but it might be too obscure even for youtube

llano del rio (get bent), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 21:48 (nine years ago) link

lol I just called someone a disgusting savage irl after she told me she likes to eat the stuffing out of oreos

The Reverend, Friday, 8 August 2014 19:59 (nine years ago) link

ya its an ilx ingrained phrase that gets me into a lot of IRL trouble

is this empty sanitism (darraghmac), Saturday, 9 August 2014 08:20 (nine years ago) link

my wife thinks it's a bit over the top that I call my children disgusting savages

thank you ilx

a curious shade of pale (onimo), Monday, 11 August 2014 15:18 (nine years ago) link

ppl who use 'ask' as a noun

mookieproof, Monday, 11 August 2014 23:12 (nine years ago) link

Q

ppl who use 'ask' as a noun

What about "a heavy lift" instead of "ask." As in, "I know this is a heavy lift, but..." Someone used it on me the other day and I kind of liked it.

tobo73, Tuesday, 12 August 2014 11:20 (nine years ago) link

Lift has long been used as a noun. Ask is a recent piece of jargon.

dustups delivered to your door (Aimless), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 15:37 (nine years ago) link

from a 1781 letter by the scholar Thomas Twining (whose grandfather founded the Twinings tea empire):

“I am not so unreasonable as to desire you to take notice of all the stuff I scribble, or answer all my asks.”

a curious shade of pale (onimo), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 11:58 (nine years ago) link

^^^savage

mookieproof, Wednesday, 13 August 2014 12:44 (nine years ago) link

Discuss tea savages

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 13 August 2014 16:45 (nine years ago) link

wonder how much slave labor was used by the twinings since the company was founded.

clouds, Wednesday, 13 August 2014 16:46 (nine years ago) link

It would be a big ask to find out.

a curious shade of pale (onimo), Thursday, 14 August 2014 17:24 (nine years ago) link

Sam Lipsyte's THE ASK is really great you guys

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 14 August 2014 18:10 (nine years ago) link

otm

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 14 August 2014 18:11 (nine years ago) link

I judge people who say they don't like the most basic of foodstuffs like pasta or eggs. fair enough, you don't like celery, that's understandable but PASTA? What's not to like?

*person in question said pasta was 'slimy dough'.

3kDk (dog latin), Friday, 15 August 2014 15:00 (nine years ago) link

it's cool; i judge people who are incapable of making sandwiches

mookieproof, Friday, 15 August 2014 18:57 (nine years ago) link

who can't make a sandwich

j., Friday, 15 August 2014 18:58 (nine years ago) link

Men who leave sexist comments under articles written by feminists are always demanding to have sandwiches made for them.

struwwelpeter capaldi (suzy), Friday, 15 August 2014 19:21 (nine years ago) link

my wife thinks it's a bit over the top that I call my children disgusting savages

thank you ilx

― a curious shade of pale (onimo), Monday, August 11, 2014 8:18 AM Bookmark

My dad used to address me and my sister as 'Heathen' and 'Pagan', respectively, when we were kids.

The Reverend, Friday, 15 August 2014 19:50 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

Someone tied a used condom to the windscreen wipers of my work's company car one night. (The next week the building was robbed, and the week after that the police shot someone dead in the neighbouring car park, so the condom was actually light relief in the scheme of things.)

ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 15 October 2014 00:47 (nine years ago) link


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