Disgusting savages; list them ALL itt

thaaaaanks for that one

i also hate the smell of cleaning fluid while I am eating

xxpost gives new meaning to "hold the mayo" amirite

fwiw that is actually one of the least disgusting stories i've heard about subway over the course of my life, something about that place attracts the people really into doing disgusting things to food

my friend worked there in college all he did was hook us up with sandwiches

"Time to lean/time to clean" was right up there with "Aces in places"

What the hell does that even mean?

know when to hold em/know when to fold em

you never count your money while they're sitting at the table
there'll be time enough for counting
when the eating's done

Aces in places was supposedly about matching skills up with tasks, but was also just a bullshit way of saying you were going to do extra work that didn't fall under your job description, because you were an 'ace' and there was a 'place' waiting to be filled.

Bear in mind, this is the same job where we had to toil hard to be "Constant Caring Friends" to the customers, known as "Everyday Heroes." We had to "close the circle...and go the extra mile" (with associated finger gestures). For some reason the word "Shazam!" was also involved.

This was a step up from the previous customer-service training regimen, called "Fanatical Customer Service." I never found out what that meant (burning down rival chains with torches? Torture equipment installed in the hotel gym?), and I don't want to.

I worked at Pizza Hit briefly in college and corporate would send out management briefings with like, monthly buzzwords and the one in use while I worked there was STELLAR and our weird uptight mid-20s eyes on the corporate prize manager would walk around saying STELLAR like a broken freaking record.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qVrU0JNAgqI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DqVrU0JNAgqI

picturing yr manager like this, fyi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVrU0JNAgqI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DqVrU0JNAgqI

I got in the elevator with two women in my work building. One of them, a healthy-seeming woman who seemed to be in her mid-20s, went up only one floor. The remaining woman said, "Ugh, 1 floor, are you kidding me?"

I lied and told her that the other woman had bone cancer. For the rest of the ride she sputtered and went, "Oh no! Oh my god! I'm such a jerk!"

― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Tuesday, September 24, 2013 4:25 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark

this made me lol very much.

Doc Casino, if only he were that funny.

He did eventually quit and go back to being a normal drug addled 20-something living in a college town, so I think the story had a happy ending.

people who say "a), blah blah blah" but never follow it up with a b), c) etc.

goddamnit motherfuckers yall need to be shoveling there are laws about this shit if you can afford a home you can clear the fucking walk

oh, if you insist

dear new yorkers it is snowing sideways in a 25mph wind stop with the fuckin umbrellas

no talking in the laundromat

get in, get out, fold yr stuff if u must. do not stand in the way chatting

Guy at the gym last night, 40-something, goatee, macho, in the steam room with his wife. First, he was "suggesting" his wife do things: Why don't you sit down right here. You wanna lay down, scoot your butt against the wall, and put your feet up the wall to stretch? Then he paced around the tiny room, bumping into people's feet and getting in the way of the door.

But what really set him apart was that he brought in a bottle of some kind of essential oil (eucalyptus? mint?) and after his wife declined to rub some on her neck (??) he doused the steam vent copiously with it. I mostly can't smell, but the mintiness or whatever was overwhelming and it drove me and a couple other people out immediately.

Later he went up to a guy in a shower stall and said, "'ey, can I have some of your shampoo? I forgot mine."

The shower stall thing reminds me of something that happened to my friend his freshman year of college. He was taking a shower in the dorms (row of shower stalls with a vinyl curtain in front of each), and after he finished and was walking away his (randomly-assigned) roommate of the time stepped two-thirds of the way out of a shower stall to say, "Bye, Sean!"

Gyms and locker rooms are full of disgustingly savage behavior

the alpha and omega of this thread are still dudes who don't wash their hands after pissing or shitting.

alphas don't have time for that prissy shit

Fred Savage

people who clip their fingernails on public transportation

― that sex version of "blue thunder." (Mr. Que), Tuesday, January 26, 2010 9:45 AM (4 years ago)

guy next to me in the library is doing this right now

there was a possible urban legend about a social studies teacher at my middle school clipping his toenails in front of the class as the kids were doing worksheets

people who don't clean up their dog shit. i mean, fuck you. 100% pure selfish bullshit, you want to have a dog but you're too lazy to clean up after it. i want to track these people down and take a shit on their front porch, or start throwing my kid's diapers on their lawn

people who ride through quiet neighborhoods late at night on really loud motorcycles

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/23/world/europe/a-forensic-approach-to-a-sidewalk-nuisance.html?_r=0

^^^ the future of crimefighting IMO

haha

Cities have tried everything from the postal service (a Spanish mayor mailed the stuff back to dog owners) to shaming (some cities have publicized the names of offending owners) to bribery (some parks in Mexico City offered free Wi-Fi in exchange for bags of waste).

i definitely like the first option. send that shit back to them. wipe that shit on their cars, front doors, whatever.

before the city started rehabbing the bloomingdale trail (a disused raised-earth/concrete train track popular w/ joggers), a friend and i were walking on it and discovered an enormous pile of plastic bags filled with dog shit that someone had been systematically tossing up onto the trail instead of throwing it in the garbage. the fucking laziness of people.

oh yea i see bags of dog shit laying around almost as much as unbagged

I try as hard as I can not to judge others for their actions. However I've more recently drawn up a very short list of unforgiveables:

1. People who clap on the beat (bar certain exceptions like Latin rhythms etc)
2. People who leave washing-up liquid to dry on plates and forks
3. People who assume the area code on their telephone number is automatically implied, especially if they live in London - As in: 'Yes my number is 2720362'

3. This means you hate old people.

Or people from Delaware, where there is only one area code.

4. People who get tattoos of area codes that are subsequently rezoned

I worked at Pizza Hit briefly in college and corporate would send out management briefings with like, monthly buzzwords and the one in use while I worked there was STELLAR and our weird uptight mid-20s eyes on the corporate prize manager would walk around saying STELLAR like a broken freaking record.

*has thoughts about nuking society from orbit that would probably get me handcuffed and treated mercilessly and violently by law enforcement with if i were to type them out*

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/8/24/1345824513932/Jamie-Oliver-list-001.jpg

please do

"Wow, that's Proper Rustic!™"

wanted to post the italo-disco song "superustic man" but it might be too obscure even for youtube

lol I just called someone a disgusting savage irl after she told me she likes to eat the stuffing out of oreos

ya its an ilx ingrained phrase that gets me into a lot of IRL trouble

my wife thinks it's a bit over the top that I call my children disgusting savages

thank you ilx

ppl who use 'ask' as a noun

Q

ppl who use 'ask' as a noun

What about "a heavy lift" instead of "ask." As in, "I know this is a heavy lift, but..." Someone used it on me the other day and I kind of liked it.

Lift has long been used as a noun. Ask is a recent piece of jargon.

from a 1781 letter by the scholar Thomas Twining (whose grandfather founded the Twinings tea empire):

“I am not so unreasonable as to desire you to take notice of all the stuff I scribble, or answer all my asks.”

^^^savage

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