I got in the elevator with two women in my work building. One of them, a healthy-seeming woman who seemed to be in her mid-20s, went up only one floor. The remaining woman said, "Ugh, 1 floor, are you kidding me?"
I lied and told her that the other woman had bone cancer. For the rest of the ride she sputtered and went, "Oh no! Oh my god! I'm such a jerk!"
― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:25 (ten years ago) link
lol
― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:27 (ten years ago) link
well done
― special beet service (La Lechera), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:36 (ten years ago) link
hahaha awesome
― carl agatha, Monday, 23 September 2013 18:38 (ten years ago) link
Je55e is one of my favorite type of savages
If I can carry my stroller, 30-pound toddler and bags up seven flights of stairs when the elevator is broken and I got five hours of sleep, I don't want to hear someone complaining that they're "too tired" to walk 30 feet to the escalator and stand on that instead of in an elevator while a bunch of old people and pregnant people and parents stand around waiting.
so you can't carry your stroller and 30 pound toddler up the escalator but you can carry them up seven flights? likely story, buddy!
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:41 (ten years ago) link
DJP's cautionary tale is otm.
― ljubljana, Monday, 23 September 2013 19:13 (ten years ago) link
truly it is us who were the disgusting savages all along.
― opie dead eyed piece of shit (Merdeyeux), Monday, 23 September 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link
and posting in this thread, we have truly "listed them all" ;_;
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 23 September 2013 19:19 (ten years ago) link
you can't bring a stroller on an escalator
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 September 2013 19:43 (ten years ago) link
Only those who dare to be bold may bring strollers onto escalators.
― Aimless, Monday, 23 September 2013 19:48 (ten years ago) link
I see strollers on escalators all the time, especially when the alternative is to lug the thing up stairs.
― carl agatha, Monday, 23 September 2013 19:49 (ten years ago) link
but every escalator has a sign on it that says "NO STROLLERS" because I think the combination of the two will make them explode or something
― You are kind, I am jerkface (DJP), Monday, 23 September 2013 19:50 (ten years ago) link
It's harder and more dangerous to take a stroller on an escalator - you can't really put the thing down but you can't go forward (assuming there are other people on the escalator), so you have to just kind of hold the thing in the air and balance.
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 September 2013 19:52 (ten years ago) link
A lot of CTA stations have escalators but no elevators (if they have either *sigh*) and no signs prohibiting strollers. It looks precarious, no doubt.
― carl agatha, Monday, 23 September 2013 19:57 (ten years ago) link
CTA stations are not models for accessibility by any stretch of the imagination so I'm not saying that their approach is correct. Just that it's the reality.
― carl agatha, Monday, 23 September 2013 19:58 (ten years ago) link
overly aggressive restaurant/fast food joint cleaners. on the one hand, as a customer, i appreciate your attention to cleanliness. but on the other hand, i don't enjoy my feet being slammed around by a broom while i'm eating because you can't possible be bothered to wait until i'm done eating to sweep under the table/counter.
― JACK SQUAT about these Charlie Nobodies (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:08 (ten years ago) link
lies, who doesn't love a good foot slam?
― You are kind, I am jerkface (DJP), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:08 (ten years ago) link
yeah those dudes who play mop hockey under your chair -- probably they just hate their jobs
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:13 (ten years ago) link
i can't say i blame 'em, but i also kinda feel like it would make their job easier if i wasn't in their way. although i think the blame probably falls to the shitty store managers that constantly scream at their employees about how they "MUST CONSTANTLY KEEP THE FLOOR CLEAN"
― JACK SQUAT about these Charlie Nobodies (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:15 (ten years ago) link
You got time to lean, you got time to clean.
― carl agatha, Monday, 23 September 2013 20:17 (ten years ago) link
haha omg my boss at my first job washing dishes in high school said that unironically all the damn time
― JACK SQUAT about these Charlie Nobodies (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:25 (ten years ago) link
I don't actually condone hitting someone's feet with a broom but are you guys seriously saying restaurants, especially fast food restaurants, should clean less
― You are kind, I am jerkface (DJP), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:26 (ten years ago) link
did you not even read the first part of my post where i was appreciative of the cleanliness? i just think there's a sweet spot where they could sweep the floor under my table when i'm not still there.
― JACK SQUAT about these Charlie Nobodies (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:28 (ten years ago) link
My shit-job bosses did trot that gem out once in a while, but it is true that if you are always looking for stuff to do and then doing it in those kinds of jobs, they don't ever have to say it to you and everybody's happy.
Would never have cleaned around/under a customer though, that's just crazy and unwelcoming.
― aldi young dudes (suzy), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:29 (ten years ago) link
A guy I used to wait tables with came up with horrible management phrases he'd use if he became found himself a manager. My favorite that I remember was "Don't ask why, just comply."
― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:43 (ten years ago) link
"Time to lean/time to clean" was right up there with "Aces in places" at my first restaurant job. God almighty. The problem is that there is always more stuff to do, so if you are industrious and seek out tasks, they're still going to seek out more tasks for you, even while Goofus chills out napping in the rear server staging nook that they don't use during lunch. (note, we all took turns with the nap system back there, so my hands are not clean)
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 23 September 2013 20:54 (ten years ago) link
or, judging from the stories i've heard about subway, "you got time to slack, you got time to dip your balls in the container of mayonaise in back"
― JACK SQUAT about these Charlie Nobodies (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:56 (ten years ago) link
thaaaaanks for that one
― kinder, Monday, 23 September 2013 20:57 (ten years ago) link
i also hate the smell of cleaning fluid while I am eating
― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Monday, 23 September 2013 21:01 (ten years ago) link
xxpost gives new meaning to "hold the mayo" amirite
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 23 September 2013 21:01 (ten years ago) link
fwiw that is actually one of the least disgusting stories i've heard about subway over the course of my life, something about that place attracts the people really into doing disgusting things to food
― JACK SQUAT about these Charlie Nobodies (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 23 September 2013 21:02 (ten years ago) link
my friend worked there in college all he did was hook us up with sandwiches
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Monday, 23 September 2013 21:04 (ten years ago) link
"Time to lean/time to clean" was right up there with "Aces in places"
What the hell does that even mean?
― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Monday, 23 September 2013 21:07 (ten years ago) link
know when to hold em/know when to fold em
― beautifully, unapologetically plastic (mh), Monday, 23 September 2013 21:09 (ten years ago) link
you never count your money while they're sitting at the tablethere'll be time enough for countingwhen the eating's done
― special beet service (La Lechera), Monday, 23 September 2013 21:10 (ten years ago) link
Aces in places was supposedly about matching skills up with tasks, but was also just a bullshit way of saying you were going to do extra work that didn't fall under your job description, because you were an 'ace' and there was a 'place' waiting to be filled.
Bear in mind, this is the same job where we had to toil hard to be "Constant Caring Friends" to the customers, known as "Everyday Heroes." We had to "close the circle...and go the extra mile" (with associated finger gestures). For some reason the word "Shazam!" was also involved.
This was a step up from the previous customer-service training regimen, called "Fanatical Customer Service." I never found out what that meant (burning down rival chains with torches? Torture equipment installed in the hotel gym?), and I don't want to.
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 23 September 2013 21:20 (ten years ago) link
I worked at Pizza Hit briefly in college and corporate would send out management briefings with like, monthly buzzwords and the one in use while I worked there was STELLAR and our weird uptight mid-20s eyes on the corporate prize manager would walk around saying STELLAR like a broken freaking record.
― carl agatha, Monday, 23 September 2013 21:55 (ten years ago) link
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qVrU0JNAgqI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DqVrU0JNAgqI
picturing yr manager like this, fyi
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 24 September 2013 01:36 (ten years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVrU0JNAgqI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DqVrU0JNAgqI
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 24 September 2013 01:37 (ten years ago) link
― disgruntled punter (Je55e), Tuesday, September 24, 2013 4:25 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark
this made me lol very much.
― estela, Tuesday, 24 September 2013 02:54 (ten years ago) link
Doc Casino, if only he were that funny.
He did eventually quit and go back to being a normal drug addled 20-something living in a college town, so I think the story had a happy ending.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 24 September 2013 13:06 (ten years ago) link
people who say "a), blah blah blah" but never follow it up with a b), c) etc.
― Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Saturday, 18 January 2014 14:49 (ten years ago) link
goddamnit motherfuckers yall need to be shoveling there are laws about this shit if you can afford a home you can clear the fucking walk
― j., Saturday, 18 January 2014 15:26 (ten years ago) link
oh, if you insist
― mh, Saturday, 18 January 2014 19:08 (ten years ago) link
dear new yorkers it is snowing sideways in a 25mph wind stop with the fuckin umbrellas
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 19:39 (ten years ago) link
no talking in the laundromat
get in, get out, fold yr stuff if u must. do not stand in the way chatting
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 01:42 (ten years ago) link
Guy at the gym last night, 40-something, goatee, macho, in the steam room with his wife. First, he was "suggesting" his wife do things: Why don't you sit down right here. You wanna lay down, scoot your butt against the wall, and put your feet up the wall to stretch? Then he paced around the tiny room, bumping into people's feet and getting in the way of the door.
But what really set him apart was that he brought in a bottle of some kind of essential oil (eucalyptus? mint?) and after his wife declined to rub some on her neck (??) he doused the steam vent copiously with it. I mostly can't smell, but the mintiness or whatever was overwhelming and it drove me and a couple other people out immediately.
Later he went up to a guy in a shower stall and said, "'ey, can I have some of your shampoo? I forgot mine."
― Je55e, Friday, 25 April 2014 18:45 (ten years ago) link
The shower stall thing reminds me of something that happened to my friend his freshman year of college. He was taking a shower in the dorms (row of shower stalls with a vinyl curtain in front of each), and after he finished and was walking away his (randomly-assigned) roommate of the time stepped two-thirds of the way out of a shower stall to say, "Bye, Sean!"
― a strange man (mh), Friday, 25 April 2014 19:43 (ten years ago) link
Gyms and locker rooms are full of disgustingly savage behavior
― Prince Kajuku (Bill Magill), Friday, 25 April 2014 19:58 (ten years ago) link
the alpha and omega of this thread are still dudes who don't wash their hands after pissing or shitting.
― Hunt3r, Friday, 25 April 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link