Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

At least once a week, I hear over the office intercom, "Who ever paged John David Pringleberry, he's on Line 1."

... and everyone just looks at each other like Who the fuck is John David Pringleberry?

Answer: a guy who will return any page you send to him.

amazing

(Different names each week, not just that one I made up.)

Eh I hardly ever call back if I don't know the number, but might do so occasionally if I've only just missed the call and it's a local number (so less likely to be marketing or a call centre)

Do most people use their mobile phone voicemail? Don't recall ever going through to voicemail on a friend's personal mobile number, most people I know send a text if they can't get hold of me and presumably would just expect one the other way round. Dunno if this is a UK thing or an age thing or just my group of friends.

I don't think young people use voicemail? Friends going straight to a text instead of leaving a message is another tip-off for me -- friends will text, actual legitimate calls will leave voicemail, third parties that are neither will leave neither ime

I use mobile phone voicemail. I mean, I doubt the bank or the doctor's office or a professional colleague would hang up and then send me a text if they couldn't get in touch with me after dialing my number.

It actually strikes me as kind of rude to expect someone to take an extra step to try and get in touch with you if they were already calling? But my mobile is my primary contact number so it's not like I only give it to friends.

it's my only number, yeah

Do most people use their mobile phone voicemail? Don't recall ever going through to voicemail on a friend's personal mobile number, most people I know send a text if they can't get hold of me and presumably would just expect one the other way round.

People still do call from land lines, e.g., doctors or co-workers, like carl said. Not having a voice mail box at all seems strange to me.

Most of my voicemail messages, to friends and family at least, go along the lines of "Hey, it's pp. Gonna just text you instead."

In the UK there is an extra charge to ring your own voicemail so nobody really uses it (on the other hand, our minutes don't get eaten by incoming calls over which we have no control). If I can't reach someone by calling, they get a text and no voicemail.

^ I knew there was a good reason why I didn't use it apart from just hating it!

However, yeah, I am kind of conflating friends and the kind of grey area of non-work non-friend phone calls, which I don't get many of and clearly need a better way of dealing with.

Oh, I didn't think about minutes. Last time I checked I had 4200 minutes left and I kind of assume unlimited or roll-over minutes are the norm, which I guess they're not.

Ahhhh I never thought of minutes/charges, either. Jeff and I have a shared plan with the lowest number of minutes possible and we still don't come anywhere near using them, voicemail or no.

Our plans tend to be 500-1000 outgoing minutes a month, with unlimited texts and a reasonable amount of interweb.

thankfully for carl and Jeff, conversing on ilx takes no cell phone minutes

It doesn't use up minutes for us to talk to each other.

i use voicemail if i want to tell someone something funny/impt (that doesn't require follow up) and don't want to waste the time thumb-typing the whole damn thing

plus your theatrical performance probably adds to it

i try to only leave quality voicemails

So I was dimly aware that this was a thing, but I kept brushing it off like, Nah, something else has to be happening here.

But no, it's true: They're making cars now which turn on the reverse lights when you simply stick a key in the ignition?

This... this... what is the point? Why would you want that to happen? Why would you design a car to do that?

It's incredibly selfish and - I wasn't sure this was possible - adds an even more world-revolves-around-me feature to behemoth SUVs. So someone hops into their Yukon 9000 in the parking garage, sticks their key to turn on the AC, fiddle with the satellite radio for five minutes and proceeds to fake out every car coming up behind them?

So now if I'm a car jacker, I wait until I see the reverse lights come on instead of hopping into a vehicle where I don't know where the key is?

Is this really happening?

Apparently it is and can lead to some hilarious confrontations.

And yet they still can't make a car that automatically switches on the headlights if your windshield wipers are on for more than 10 seconds.

What are reverse lights?

When you put your car's gear into reverse, special white lights turn on near your brake lights. This is so the driver can see better to where he's backing up and alerts others that the car is about go backwards. Visual representation of that beep-beep-beep signal big trucks have.

is this a thing on all cars?

Pretty sure they've been around in one form or another since the mid-60s, at least in the US.

Reverse lights are standard on all cars, but that thing pp described has not been standard, and it's fucked up! It fucks with the universal language of tail lights.

My job is made up of lots of little jobs and I regularly have to cc other ppl on my emails, so they can keep track of projects they are managing that I am helping out with

I hate hate hate flow-ruiners.
a) ppl who receive routine requests emailed by me and do not reply all. unless it's a private convo or it's some kind of incriminating discussion just reply all ffs.

b) people who receive a routine request emailed from me and walk over to give me the answer. yes the art of human conversation has been lost and we should talk to each other more but I need a fucking paper trail and you're ruining it.

idiots

you know the ultra drunk guy at concerts, who is milling about aimlessly and keeps bumping into people or trying to talk to them about inane shit like spidermonkey rebellion?

WHY DO I ALWAYS ATTRACT THESE PEOPLE

btw new york, sandal guy is on your scene. be on the prowl.

http://i.imgur.com/FLn5pv7.jpg

Kind of bothered that in summertime my "cold" water comes out at 105°F. It takes a long time and more than a couple sinks full of running for it to run cool.

sounds like you need a basement apartment

? That's not normal though. The cold water tap in the bathroom is not like that.

It is normal, if your water line runs for a distance inside the building that is on an inside wall. The bathroom is probably near the water entry point for your place. From there, the water is sitting in a pipe being attenuated to room temp

people in the office elevator who complain/sigh/"joke" about the elevator making too many stops/getting too full on the way down at the end of the day. fuck you, dude, we all just want to get home

when the automatic soap dispenser keeps automatically dispensing soap into the sink the entire time you are washing your hands. So wasteful!

when ppl (boys) at the gym use weights and leave them on the bar like they're going to put themselves back

the elevator stopping on the way down on a floor where no one gets on and the button wasn't pushed on the inside. this happening twice on the way down is irrationally angriest.

i've seen almost the opposite of that twice in the last couple of days - people stood at pedestrian crossings without pressing the button. it won't change if it doesn't know you're there, it's not psychic.

Some crossings do always change at certain times of day w/o pressing it so I guess people extrapolate wrongly, though I don't know why because surely the other type is way more common?

Similarly-ish, this morning I was at the back of the bus queue and nobody stuck their arm out to hail an approaching bus until I did, and then nearly everyone got on that bus. Wasn't annoyed since there was still room but amused, imagining (possibly unfairly) they'd have been complaining about bus drivers missing stops.

Mildly irked that the two pedestrian crossings on my walk to work have both recently been refitted with new timings which are less favourable to pedestrians. My commute may now be 30 seconds longer! The things I could have done with those 30 seconds. Be boring on the internet, mostly.

"Boy, chilly out this morning, huh?"

"A little bit chilly this morning."

"Suddenly pretty chilly out there, eh?"

"Not used to it being this chilly in the morning."

YES WE ARE ALL EXPERIENCING THE WEATHER IT'S SEPTEMBER IN CLEVELAND DEAL WITH IT.GIF

i've seen almost the opposite of that twice in the last couple of days - people stood at pedestrian crossings without pressing the button. it won't change if it doesn't know you're there, it's not psychic.

It might! About 40% of them do
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23869955

When consumer products address a non-existent problem with a new feature. My new garbage can has this ridiculous, slow-closing "silent" lid. Because you know, the sound of trash can lids closing at normal speed was such a source of auditory clutter in my prior life.

subtle bragging about having upped your garbage can game

I'd rather have one that opened and closed automatically so I don't have to touch it.

well that's what step cans are for isn't it? And this is a step can, but it's a step can where the lid takes like ten seconds to close, meanwhile releasing garbage stench into my air

There are also electric automatic cans, but I hate the use of electricity to avoid tasks that require almost no effort to begin with.

I was thinking of outside garbage cans.

I'd like a conveyor belt that shuffled them out to the curb on Tuesday mornings. Not because I'm lazy or weak, but one time in the dark of early morning when I grabbed the can to drag it down there myself and MAGGOTS!

All homes should be fitted with pneumatic tube systems for trash disposal. In every room. And always on. If you want to throw something away, just throw it up in the air, and it'll get sucked into the tube.