OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

"The lead single from Ciara's self-titled fifth album, "Body Party," is an oozing, seductive R&B track that deserves rousing applause — especially when the 27-year-old matches the song with daring and sensual dance moves that scream Janet Jackson, Aaliyah and others that have come before her, as she did at the recent BET Awards."

"an oozing R&B track"
dat sentence structure

title of that piece is REVIEW: CIARA STILL SEARCHING FOR CIARA ON 'CIARA'
i think there's a lot to be mined with this guy

I guess if a music writer's twitter is 80% RTs of articles from his place of work and 20% NormalTweetGuy inanity, at least that cuts down on the public circlejerking

Lol hurting

and you will know us by the decreasing output of the dead...

Rumors of TLC's fall from the pop charts have been greatly exaggerated

This guy. The more I read, the more I fear my eyes will roll so far back into my head that I may not be able to get them back out.

"Mumford & Sons and the crowd were loud, but not unruly during the two-hour show. The band played their folk-rock tunes with ease, and at times slowed things down as red-orange lights shined and small light bulbs hung in the air. They boys were like mad scientists during "Dustbowl Dance" — singer Marcus Mumford was now on the drums and he kicked it out of his way as he headed to the front of the stage to finish singing the song."

First half of first sentence is almost seussian.

Professional rock band plays songs professionally, at times slowly, with lighting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnIF72mW1vs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3EizbF-38I

Professional rock band plays songs professionally, at times slowly, with lighting

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, September 3, 2013 3:19 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Associated Press isn't exactly looking for Richard Meltzer tho

i basically get the sense that maybe this person didn't want to be a music journo at all, and sort of doesn't care? or cares about one sort of music but really doesn't care about NIN or british pop girlgroups and is just sort of phoning it in until they can cover whatever they feel their 'calling' is? like more than anything else, it just drips with boredom and indifference.

"One member of the band picked up his guitar and began playing it. Then, while the singer vocalized into his microphone, the drummer crashed his sticks wildly into his drums and cymbals, creating a stir in the crowd, which seemed close to filling the 430-person capacity venue."

It's the Associated Press, it's not supposed to be fucking Joan Didion, guys

"The lead single from Ciara's self-titled fifth album, "Body Party," is an oozing, seductive R&B track

http://pzrservices.typepad.com/vintageadvertising/images/2008/03/15/vintage_ad_1975_copy.jpg

cap'n save-a-hack

i'm kind of relieved when i run across phoned-in robot articles written by people who have not spent any time analyzing pop culture, one less human being subjecting themselves to the grotesquery of caring in a sinking ship industry.

*puts cigarette out on palm, gazes balefully into the smoggy distance*

in any case, this guy answers the thread question pretty definitively; i can't imagine anyone else who gets this level of distribution and exposure who writes this poorly

it's a relief! phew, this person can care more about things that matter. good for them.

xp i beg to differ. i enjoyed the 'burly voice' line more than anything you've ever posted.

no offense. i mean it's a great line, not everyone can be a genius.

no offense taken. there are certainly plenty of would-be "genius" hacks who devote themselves to flexing atrophied muscles on the internet in misguided attempts to look clever.
why one of them could be in the room right... now.
http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/hand-gestures/crossed-arms-smiley-emoticon.gif

joan didion?

holy shit, joan didion is in the room?

she posts as "The Other J.D."

AP (New York) -- Wire service writes like wire service

katherine gets me as of late tho

Yeah, criticising someone who's probably a news reporter for not writing a great review is insufferably smug. Unless everyone here could write a perfect court report …

his work is factually incorrect, grammatically suspect and betrays little creativity or knowledge of the work he's writing about!

what standards would you LIKE me to judge that work on?

Everything in his AP repertoire so far is music/pop culture oriented, so I dunno where the idea that he's a news reporter comes from.

he says he's a music writer in his twitter bio

what's his twitter name again?

Leave him alone!

I imagine Britney saying that.

but shouldn't someone tell him that a bunch of people he's never heard of think he's not good at something?

so are we gonna be hand-wringing about poor music journalism in in-flight magazines next?

I wouldn't want his job. I imagine none of us would. But the idea that he's got it instead of someone who can write and actually knows things about music is irritating.

I know! Welcome to the world.

god get over yourself

rme at everyone in this thread stanning for this clown. If he worked at Wendy's, he'd be fired by now.

Wendy's publishes music writing?

irl lol

WHAT THE HELL

Bad writer writes badly. When has this ever been a taking sides issue on ilm before?

sorry that was flip - i think it's more an issue of should we be spending our precious outrage resources on this issue rather than something else

if you'd changed Wendy's to Subway otoh

seriously if this rote and harmless writing irritates you, i would suggest some self-exploration, it can only get better.

The customer ate his Foot-long Cold Cut Trio with ease, and at times slowed things down as florescent tubes hummed and adjacent heat lamps warmed the Provolone

Jesus fuck, this is the fucking AP, not some backwater daily. Forget about musical knowledge, this writer can barely put a sentence together.

"Mumford & Sons and the crowd were loud, but not unruly during the two-hour show. The band played their folk-rock tunes with ease, and at times slowed things down as red-orange lights shined and small light bulbs hung in the air. They (typo in original) boys were like mad scientists during "Dustbowl Dance" (they were? how so?) — singer Marcus Mumford was now on the drums and he kicked it (kicked what???) out of his way as he headed to the front of the stage to finish singing the song."