people that YELP are scumbags

That's because it was written by someone with a mental age of 12.

....so in conclusion, I say you can't be a traditional consumer. and that is why I should be nominated student council president. thank you & good night.

The average Flesch–Kincaid readability score of presidential speeches has dropped every decade for the past 80 years and now is at a roughly 8th grade reading level.

In conclusion, Yelp is a land of contrasts.

Limited menu. None brought to table when we sat down, my son had to fetch them for our group of 6. Orders mixed up, took forever to bring out simple burgers, fish and chips and salad when we were only ones there. Aside from that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

in which enduring slow service is compared to getting assassinated.

that's what you get for sitting in a BOOTH

lmao

Didn't find anything spectacular about this place. The highly touted chicken soup was just a small chicken in a bowl of broth. It tasted like a chicken in chicken broth. They give you salt and chopped green onions to put in it. Adding these gives the meal a sort of salty, oniony flavor.

tbf that doesn't sound spectacular

What like. a whole chicken floating soup? (in a mans hat)

http://images.crestock.com/2960000-2969999/2967403-xs.jpg

oh man what happens when yelpers review yelp

The final straw though was receiving an email from Yelp HQ that they reviewed my account for 2012 and found me to be "un-Elite like", citing that I wasn't "welcoming" to new users, and that I didn't "watch out" for the community (sorry, isn't this your Community Manager's job? maybe if they ever used the forums for anything but trolling for their own write-ups WE wouldn't have to). Even if you ignore the statistical facts to what I contributed to this site in 2012 (200+ reviews, 40+ First to Reviews, 5 selected as Review of the Day, and over 2,000 photos), there were countless times where I responded to requests for help in the forums, on almost a daily basis. If anyone genuinely provided more information to the clueless masses in DC in 2012 then I don't know who it was.

ONE STAR.

"If anyone genuinely provided more information to the clueless masses in DC in 2012 then I don't know who it was." —hoos

The interior is crisp, clean, and modern: the general theme of abstracted communist realism prevails through the draped red stars on the walls and Mao Zedong portraits in the hallways gazing as you pass through to the bathroom.

http://i.imgur.com/7DrpTio.png

As one who practices yoga regularly, it is so disappointing to go to an Indian restaurant and find owners and staff interested only in turning a buck rather honoring their word.

It is so disappointing that Indian people have their own personalities and don't all act like my 23 year old white yoga instructor from Portland

wtf at that quote

how is that real

guys, if yelpers don't walk into a restaurant and have the exact experience they've already imagined, then obviously the restaurant is absolutely terrible and run by monsters.

that is amazing

I DIED otm

Imagine. Business owners wanting to make money at their business. Namasta, asshole.

*namaste

Sigh.

As someone who once told someone to have a nice day, it offends me to see a restaurant that doesn't give me free food all the time.

I mean, wow

Guys - the NEXT review from the Speaker of the Fungry Foodies is all-time:

Jusstine Kenzerr PsychicGirl

Mind. Blown.

I'll start by saying I'm an agnostic in most things having to do with the spiritual; I don't believe in organized religion but as to what higher power exists out there, I have enough humility and wisdom to say, "I just don't know." So having been referred to Jusstine by a colleague at work, I was curious, especially because I have NEVER been to a psychic, palm reader, astrologist, etc. in my life. Not because I'm a skeptic, but because I'm not particularly interested in what supposed future I have. I am a true believer in being the shaper of my own destiny.

So, imagine my surprise and delight when Jusstine opens with the same line, which put me immediately at ease. I only told her my name and she opens with my philosophy. She said that my buzzword was "limitless." How is that for spot on? And everything only got more accurate and chilling (in a good way) from there. She told me things about myself that were absolutely true. I wasn't looking so much for answers to who I am but to why I'm here at this place I am now, and she pretty much hit it out of the park.

What's more, Jusstine got so specific with members of my family that she made me burst out in tears. I couldn't believe how much she did know with me only saying a particular person's name and asking a pretty general question. It was uncanny. I've watched psychic-debunkers before so I was careful not to "feed" her information. The crazy thing is I didn't need to. She already knew the "curse" (for lack of a better word) my family was suffering and did a healing to try to break it.

And finally, what really impressed me is, as soon as I mentioned the hubster's name, she herself started tearing up. When I asked her why she was getting emotional, she said that it was great to feel this intense and huge love I was radiating because of our relationship; and if soul mates existed, I had found mine, which made me tear up as well. Of course I already knew this but it's great to hear from someone who doesn't even know us.

The only thing a little off the mark was when she said I had known Jesus in a past life, because I've had many lives and I was as old as the Eqyptians. As I said, I'm not particularly religious so this didn't resonate with me at all. But again, it was an interesting notion.

Overall, after the quick healing exercise she did on me, I felt a profound sense of inner peace. Truly, I have never been much good at meditation because my mind wanders so much but with her help, I really did "zone out" for a few minutes. And when it was done, I kid you not, I felt warm all over, like I was wrapped up in some pink fuzzy blanket the entire time. My face was actually flushed. It was such a strange, phenomenal experience, I can't even begin to describe it except to say my mind was truly blown away.

She said that my buzzword was "limitless." How is that for spot on?

oh boy

review of Arabian Knights

“Left early....awful”

2 of 5 stars Reviewed March 25, 2012

We booked this show as it was voted the best dinner show for the past few years...Im not really sure how but having not been to any of the other ones in Orlando I dread to think what they are like if this is the best!!

We already had tickets so stood in queue for about 20 mins, when we got to the front we were told we still had to check in so were sent to the back of another queue for even longer and then back to the first queue again!

After which we were barked at to sit our bags down and pushed to stand in front of a blank wall told to smile and then move quickly on! This was so they later tried to sell us the photo for a total over the top price as they had added a background into it.

When we got to our seats there was only one seat and one set of cutlery. We were told to squeeze in and another knife and fork were brought. The waiters were dripping in sweat and constantly wiping their foreheads so needless to say I didnt touch the food that was brought (which I couldnt see as it was so dark)

The show itself was not what we expected, I dont know if they were having an 'off' night but they kept falling off the horses and then taking a big dramatic bow looking sheepish. Everyone just seemed to breath a sigh of relief if they managed to stay on!

We left about 45 mins before the end, tipped our waiter the $5 each that we were told we had too and left.

I really wouldnt recommend this at all and to top it all the tickets are quite expensive.

Visited March 2012

The only thing a little off the mark was when she said I had known Jesus in a past life, because I've had many lives and I was as old as the Eqyptians.

lolol

And finally, what really impressed me is, as soon as I mentioned the hubster's name, she herself started tearing up.

every anecdote i've ever read about a skeptic being won over by a psychic leaves me even more skeptical and non-believing than i already was.

A Cadillac of restaurants, dining at Heritage Tavern was the equivalent of riding a Harley Davidson down route 66 while smoking a Marlboro Red and listening to Manfred Mans rendition of Blinded By the Light in a pair of Levis.

Ah, yes, a fine rendition, that one.

Don't think I've ever heard "Blinded by the Light in a Pair of Levis".

I've been blinded by the light in a pair of Levis, but not in many years, now.

Blinded by the light
shining off those rivets
on the Levis in the night

AND THE DUNGAREES CRASHED TO THE GROUUUND

why manfred mann's version that doesn't even make sense, why

The ultimate result

http://eater.com/archives/2013/10/29/disgruntled-yelpers-sue-yelp-for-not-paying-them-for-reviews.php

hahaha that's fantastic

classless action

panzer vs yelp

Yelp today, ILX tomorrow?

red panties with 'Make Me Yelp!' stamped across its bottom.
red panties with 'Make Me Yelp!' stamped across its bottom.
red panties with 'Make Me Yelp!' stamped across its bottom.

vomit.gif

I wish I could have a half star option. I'm not sure if it would be 3.5 or 4.5 but I kind of feel like I should be able to use this option. I know what you are saying as you are reading this. "Moron! If you can't decide between 3.5 or 4.5 then it's actually 4!" Maybe you're correct.

(irl) lol

But gormandizer beware: An ornate dining setting does not await you
But gormandizer beware: An ornate dining setting does not await you
But gormandizer beware: An ornate dining setting does not await you
But gormandizer beware: An ornate dining setting does not await you
But gormandizer beware: An ornate dining setting does not await you

Ornate Dining Setting Beheads You