when someone commits a speaking error in the heat of the moment, document it here

to parallel off of Juan's comment

s. clover is imminently skippable but i always brake for shakey mo

― JEFF 22 (Matt P), Friday, October 4, 2013 11:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"I have always said if there is anything I could do to help I would make myself available," he said.

Knew Dalglish would say exactly this the minute I read the headline about him rejoining the Liverpool board.

Oops wrong thread. In a sort of apt way.

terrible boss at my first job used to say 'key work adjectives' instead of 'key work objectives'

efficient, teamsmanship-like, worky

I was friends with Anglophones in '97, so lots of Cornershop and second-tier trip-hop got bumped around the dorm.

― Geoffrey Schweppes (jaymc), Monday, October 21, 2013 12:32 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"I stand correct"

oh god i am the worst at this. language seems to fly away from me at the worst moments.

i definitely posted this before but my greatest was referring to something as "my constellation prize"

Never do this I'm an eloquent mf

jay smooth was on totally biased and pronounced "fogey" with a soft g and then immediately corrected it, i love those bits of "i (probably) pronounced it that way most of my life and i'm still getting used to this" psychology peeks

also love whenever i can see the first draft of something that was quickly edited online, related ^^

http://youtu.be/XnXKVY-_i2c

This album is so good. Seems like a nice anecdote to the bougie pseudo-R&B we were dismissing upthread. It plays with a lot of the same sounds and influences, but is grounded in actual soul and solid songwriting

― Evan R, Monday, October 28, 2013 4:28 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

t/s: bougie pseudo-R&B vs actual soul and solid songwriting

look I guess I will have to vote Last Exit because Homer as a donut-eating Mafia Don is top level of his dream sequences

oh oh oh and the negations with Burns: "My God! He is coming onto me!"

― The Miracle of the Jimmy Smits (King Boy Pato), Saturday, November 2, 2013 4:12 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

perma-flustered man at work says

exasterbated

quite a lot.

haa

"We had so many trick or treaters, we ran out of heroin"

Think he meant to say Haribo

... or DID he

it's too protracted, 'zing' as onomatopoeia demands a certain pithiness

― twist boat veterans for stability (k3vin k.), Saturday, November 2, 2013 1:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i agree, i wish i came directly after the OP

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Saturday, November 2, 2013 1:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My girlfriend trying to get me out the door faster: "chop to it!"
A friend "it was crazy hot. We were sweating pigs"

any sixth grader can tell you your friend was using METAPHOR, NOT SIMILE

in an argument, someone just stated Kurt Cobain had a "sorted" past.

Couldn't let that one slide, 'cos I'm a dick.

some of my all-time favorites from work and life:

"Without your password, I can't give out any account pacific information"

"I was wearing tenor shoes"

"Minds a well do it, you have nothing to lose."

and there was one time Al Michaels was on MNF and he accidentally said a player was "unmolested", later correcting it to "uncontested"

and there was one time in middle school I got angry at some dude and in the heat of frustration, screamed "YOU DUCK SICKER!!!", and got clowned for the rest of the year for it.

some dude is so mean

that shipley, always siccing his army of ducks on everyone

haha oops

"chop to it!"

that's a phrase though isn't it? (chop chop and chop to it).

now nervous. xpost

hop to it surely

"some of facilities could show up on the map as being in, you know...zebek...zebekistan...uzistan...or whatever"

"In the abundance of caution, I am taking the liberty of sending you..."

My mother-in-law remarking on how good something was: "... the best thing since fried bread!"

are you sure that's an error are you sure your mom isn't just awesome

"crack attic"

"the school Liberian"

Although that last one was typed, so I think autocorrect is half to blame.

zebek...zebekistan...uzistan...or whatever

I love this. Giggling like a spaz here.

recently my office was gathered for the announcement that a guy was leaving which led to a colleague giving an impromptu testimonial wherein he described the guy as having been "a real detriment to the company" there was a brief moment of silence before everyone burst out laughing while he tried to forge on can only think he'd wanted to say...asset?

Aw man, the impromptu testimonial speech is definitely the moment of heat, too

the best thing since frybread
http://www.manlykitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/indian_taco.jpg

Colleague: How's the French Onion Soup you're making going?
Me: I camarelised.... CA-RA-MAH-lised the onions last night.

someone mentioned the movie bruce almighty and someone else said something about steve carrell and a funny scene from one of his movies and someone else said "was it in 40 years a virgin?"

reminds me when my younger brother bawled "VAGINA!" at my nan, during a parlour game that involved naming things - in this case "body parts" - beginning with a specified letter.

my nan said "yes dear, I suppose it is" which was about right.

wasn't really in thread premise tho. man at developers I was visiting today said "exackerbated" surely as a joke earlier. not at all in the heat of the moment. must've been a joke.

I once tried so hard to not office-speak "going forwards" that I said "from this moment on" instead like I'm gandalf.

http://youtu.be/P8pnnVwcPUU

they cannot be impecked

In trying to describe Punishers logo the other day I referred to his "skeleton head".
"... you mean skull", says bf, who now won't let me live it down.

Must have been a glitch inside your skeleton head

confess to having sympathy with ur bf in this situation

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=donald+trump+talking&page=&utm_source=opensearch

me just now when my cat suddenly freaked out and did a wall jump:

parquet!

at this point i have accidentally said "knock me off my socks" so many times that it's now replaced "knocked my socks off" as my default. not that i say it that often. but it's similar to how autoreplace on an iphone can turn into a nightmare when you make the same mistake too many times and apple decides to adjust itself to accommodate your recklessness

haha that happens on my phone a lot

autoreplace thinks thnkeankehjteh* = thank you for ...

*or something like it

hearing a lot of "back to ground zero" recently

(instead of "square one")

square nine one one

This thread makes me think of Little Carmine Lupertazzi.

heard someone refer to "the dominic effect" recently, can't remember who or when but i wrote it on a post-it and just found it on my desk

Heh. It would make perfect sense in a UK context.

Referring to this shitstain btw: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominic_Cummings

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhV28uwWsAAoOw0.jpg

bist du sicher?

Ich kenne ihn nicht.

Was ist Tennis?

Der Dominic-Effekt ist in full swing!

Ganz toll!

and if you don’t know, now you know