Guys who stare really ostentatiously at a girl's ass after she passes him on the sidewalk - C/D

"SO YOU'RE READING AGAIN HUHHH?"

"MUST BE A GOOD BOOK."

"YOU WERE READING WHEN I SAW YOU BEFORE."

"IS THAT THE SAME BOOK FROM BEFORE?"

"MUST BE GOOD."

"DONT MIND ME. I WAS JUST OOGLING."

"OOGLE OOGLE OOGLE."

The Ralph Wiggum Guide to Picking Up Chicks.

I had a 4-hour layover in SLC last week, and that airport still tries to charge you actual money for wifi, so without anything to read I was stuck people-watching to pass the time. Anyway, there was this young couple there. She was a cute redhead, he was whatever cute redheads go for these days, and he could not have been any more obvious about checking out other girls. Redhead would get up and wander off, and he'd look around and stare at other women, and then when the redhead came back into view, the dude would alternate between watching her walk back to him and checking out some other girl. After a while, his laser-guided bobble-ogle head became like my own supplementary cutie detector. I felt kinda bad for the redhead, though.