Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

I have always thought the horse-shoe toilet seat found in most public restrooms was there so one could have a direct line to pee without hitting anything someone would sit on.

I have also been told my thinking is incorrect.

If you can actually manage this, which nobody can, go with god, son.

You guys smell too many things. I basically keep my nose closed In most public situations just to be safe.

One more pee post: a disgusting college bf of never lifted the seat in his own house and thought I was a stuck up jerk for objecting. He also liked to pee out of his bedroom window through the screen.

He somehow managed to marry my best friend from college, who is a clean and rational human, but they are divorced now, probably for pee related reasons.

ARGH when male friends use my loo and leave the seat up. What is so difficult about 'this is a woman's home, please return seat to its regular position'?

Because my house was all women growing up, it took 'independent living' to alert me to the thing about male splashbacks.

I think a lot of men have a significant amount of denial re how much urine they routinely spatter throughout every bathroom they use.

that's why i pee into a measuring cup before carefully spattering exactly 3/4 of a cup of urine around each bathroom i use

He also liked to pee out of his bedroom window through the screen.

hahaha I did this one time when I was living with my parents and I got too stoned to leave my room.

Why god why didn't you just raise the screen why???

that's why i pee into a measuring cup before carefully spattering exactly 3/4 of a cup of urine around each bathroom i use

Bathroom privileges revoked. You pee outside when you visit from now on.

Man, I was STOOOOONEEEDDDDDD, I couldn't raise the screen!

and doing so prevents the inevitable (it is inevitable. It is physics) splash back onto the underside of the toilet seat, rim, floor, and surrounding area.

it's not inevitable tbrr, lots of guys manage to avoid spillage

Actually, no, it was b/c the screens couldn't be raised, they had to be popped out, and there was just no way.

xp

spillage is one thing
splashback is another, and it's inevitable b/c physics

I don't turn the light on when peeing in the middle of the night sometimes. Pretty sure I'm carl's nemesis.

no i mean spillage, sprayage, splashback, it's all avoidable, promise

You are a man in denial.

Nothing quite like a fine mist of piss, eh?

I am not that fussed about public toilets TBH; people can be awfully neurotic/projectionist about bodily functions, though. All I ask for is dry seat/loo roll/flushed by the last person, and I will wipe seat puddles with a scrunch of paper.

I wonder if there's a foreskin thing at play here. American male bathrooms seem way more piss-splattered than UK ones (at least, ones where clientele can be expected to be sober).

that is not a thing I have wondered

i would like to not be wondering it right now imo

A foreskin thing? Hell, I'm shocked that British people even use the bathroom.

I am certain that some guys do this on purpose. I can only speculate on motivation, but I would not be surprised if there wasn't some kind of alpha male, leader of the pack, territory marking going on. Sometimes wonder if these does do better in life.

He also liked to pee out of his bedroom window through the screen.

hahaha I did this one time when I was living with my parents and I got too stoned to leave my room.

― potatoes-in-law (Je55e), Thursday, August 22, 2013 8:24 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have done this several times. Lived in the attic, the bathroom was a long creaky-staired walk away. I think I stopped myself once when it was winter and I realized at the last second that I would be leaving a giant yellow spot in the front yard right in front of the big window in the living room.

Peeing out the window seems like one of the primary perks of having male anatomy. It was the screen thing that I was so appalled at. I think the way I put it was that pee residue would dry on the screen and then his room would fill with pee breeze. PEE BREEZE.

the salty tang of the pee breeze near the coastline

peeing on the jasmine in my mind

I figured that if I pissed forcefully enough the sheer speed of the pee would keep it from collecting on the mesh of the screen

Whatever residue was left on the screen was under the maximum acceptable level.

just a friendly reminder pee is basically as inert as saltwater, and i will keep peeing standing up in unisex bathrooms and not anxiously cleaning up after myself, dealwithit.gif

NPR. in a big big way. i'll get in the car and the car starts and maria will have the radio set to NPR and i swear i just start tensing up like crazy and immediately get mad. i turn it off as fast as i can. all those voices drive me bonkers. that smug tone. entitled. looking at everybody else in the world from afar and nodding knowingly. completely irrational for the most part. it just happened one day.

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1350/1470244756_584e5d1352.jpg

to build off mookie's contrib:

SUMMER PEE
DRIED ON THE SCREEN
PEEING ON THE JASMINE IN MY MIIIIIIIIIIIIIND

Xpost with you

Funny how saltwater sprayed all over a small windowless room doesn't smell like hellish rancid death, though. xp

And I hate that that image didn't load.

*farts*

encountering song by an artist you don't know, and it's excellent and exciting, but it's also a remix, and nothing else they have produced actually sounds like it

"Saltwater tears in my eyes"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWWKl1QJed0

.. hopefully...

I was mad bout pee on the seat for a good part of my life. Then I realized that many toilets sprinkle water onto the seat during the flush. This set me free.

I also would get angry about the lint catcher in communal dryers. But then I realized that some people think you should clean it before you dry. Others think after. I now think that one should clean it before and after. Only pleasant surprises in my drying life now.

- fking newfangled shoelaces in my nike sneakers, those bullshit nylon tubey ones THAT ALWAYS COME UNTIED
- also ia that I keep forgetting to buy shoelaces to replace the bullshit ones

I hate those things but I did find that they settled down after a while. When new they are IMPOSSIBLE, though.

- papyrus font is making me incendiary atm

not irrational imo, it must've been designed with that effect in mind

people that pull up to the damn drive through box to order before they've even looked at the damn menu. thankfully I just went grocery shopping so that's done for a while.

I'll grant you that when you go to the Taco Bell drive-thru, you ought to act like you've been there before.

BUT it's impossible to see the menu unless you pull up to the box. When the guy says "That's okay, just give me your order when you're ready," he's usually talking to me.

i wish drive-thrus weren't all like that. and i wish going into the place and immediately being hounded to make a choice wasn't normal. basically just give me a few seconds to look at the menu before i have to suffer your slow death glare jfc

lol i'm sure i've IAed about this before

some of the places around here actually have a 'mini menu' that you can see before you get to the one that's on the box. Pollo Tropical does it right - the yhave paper menus you can look at it before you pull up. ecxept IT'S FLORIDA, and IT RAINS, and if you go during a storm you get a wet piece of wet towel to try and read.

the Taco Bell here has a really weirdly banked turn that has made me severely jump the curb thrice. I was very curt when I grabbed my burrito last time and feel bad abt that as it wasn't drivethru guy's fault.

i wish drive-thrus weren't all like that. and i wish going into the place and immediately being hounded to make a choice wasn't normal. basically just give me a few seconds to look at the menu before i have to suffer your slow death glare jfc

That's (one reason) why I hate Potbelly.