What's it all about, Alfie the 13-year-old father?

Seems a hoax; on the "news" last night (on the other fucking side of the world, why would we care here? I guess that's what comes for having the union jack in your flag) a bunch of other lads have also had *ahem* 'full sex' with this lass and reckon it could be any of theirs. The Alfie angle is to net his dad (?) or someone some cash for flogging the story.

Yeah thats what I said about 2983742845 posts ago...

Trayce OTM (xpost x 2983742845)

lol

Cue "you're not the father" gif

News?

Britain's not broken after all?

They've done a £300 DNA test and Alfie's not the dad. It's in the Mirror, but I can't copy/paste the link since I'm on my phone

Sweet

"Best £300 I ever spent" said Alfie's dad's dad, probably.

If everyone started conceiving children at age 13, we would all be great-great-great-great-grandparents by our mid-80s.

ahhhh :(

you have to wonder why they didn't do this on the first day (at least of the news, of whatever, before that tabloid printed it)

Lucky little bastard! I hope he's learnt his lesson.

I guess he won't have :(

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/03/26/alfie-truth-proved-by-a-300-baby-test-115875-21228412/

Pretty sure Jeremy Kyle would've done this for nowt.

Slept with 6 boys ay?

To be honest, she’s doing the right thing getting it now as she ain’t going to get prettier.
Plus, she’ll be set up for life with a nice council flat waiting for her when she’s old enough, free money and some maintenance.

Still plenty of scope for Jeremy Kyle to get involved

But who WAS forming babbies with Chantelle then?

I don't know, but I expect we'll now be treated to another round of outrage and soulseraching from the media. Oh joy.

But who WAS forming babbies with Chantelle then?

That's what I meant about there still being scope for Jeremy Kyle to get involved

cartman's father style expose has real potential.

Oh, I wasn't aware of who Jeremy Kyle is. Sorry. (Xpost)

Oh boy. Was Alfie used as a cover-up? Hiding a dark perverted family secret? Inquiring minds want to know!

Plus, she’ll be set up for life with a nice council flat waiting for her when she’s old enough, free money and some maintenance.

― not_goodwin

Aye she's got it fucking made eh?

emphasis on "fucking"

no, she's a victim here of ___________

Mrs Thatcher

Aye she's got it fucking made eh?

― the innermost wee guy (onimo),

it was sarcasm

She's a victim of her whoremoans.

so was mine xp

You guys

babies having babies hurts everyone

'ow is babby formed, mate?

the REAL father:

http://www.computermuseum.li/Testpage/AlphieII.jpg

smiling.

Isn't Maisie pregnant yet?

Alfie's taking her out tonight to get back at Chantelle.

Alfie, the German version (Kathrin is 13, Christian is 15, they'll be Germany's youngest elders)

Zärtlich drückt er seine Freundin an sich, streichelt ihren kugelrunden Bauch.

sounds good in Deutsch!
;)

at least Kathrin looks like 25 to me. (also i'm willing to bet that Bild will feature nude photos of Deutschland jungsten Mutter, when she's 18 and in desperate need of some dough)

Christian has some bad 80s footballer hair going on there.

wow yeah i would have guessed she was 18-19 and he was 22-23

Christian has a shirt that says "GABBA" on it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8056700.stm

yeah, i was gonna post earlier when press gazette announced reporting restrictions had been lifted. but reading the thread, the mirror had let the cat out of the bag anyway. courts continuing to do an awesome job of maintaining press freedom in the internet age then.

Children's Secretary Ed Balls

LOL

oh man do I so want the inside story on how this one went down

my general advice to all pregnant women is that if you can either identify the father as a 13-year-old or a 15-year-old, go with 15, trust me

Poor Alfie ;_; He thought he was a man!

Damn Crutis beat me to the Ed Balls zole.

oh man do I so want the inside story on how this one went down

my general advice to all pregnant women is that if you can either identify the father as a 13-year-old or a 15-year-old, go with 15, trust me

― nabisco, Tuesday, 19 May 2009 00:19 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark

you know the general outline right? the parents colluded in saying the younger kid was the father because he looks even younger than 13 and they knew they could sell the story.

A+ parenting