something really fucking odd is going on here
^ true in whatever case
― contenderizer, Thursday, 19 February 2009 23:33 (fifteen years ago) link
Seems a hoax; on the "news" last night (on the other fucking side of the world, why would we care here? I guess that's what comes for having the union jack in your flag) a bunch of other lads have also had *ahem* 'full sex' with this lass and reckon it could be any of theirs. The Alfie angle is to net his dad (?) or someone some cash for flogging the story.
― Bored of Canada (S-), Friday, 20 February 2009 00:41 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah thats what I said about 2983742845 posts ago...
― one art, please (Trayce), Friday, 20 February 2009 01:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Trayce OTM (xpost x 2983742845)
― StanM, Friday, 20 February 2009 03:35 (fifteen years ago) link
lol
Cue "you're not the father" gif
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:49 (fifteen years ago) link
News?
― Mark G, Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Britain's not broken after all?
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:54 (fifteen years ago) link
They've done a £300 DNA test and Alfie's not the dad. It's in the Mirror, but I can't copy/paste the link since I'm on my phone
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:58 (fifteen years ago) link
Sweet
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:59 (fifteen years ago) link
"Best £300 I ever spent" said Alfie's dad's dad, probably.
― Mark G, Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:03 (fifteen years ago) link
If everyone started conceiving children at age 13, we would all be great-great-great-great-grandparents by our mid-80s.
― 2 ears + 1 ❤ (Pillbox), Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:18 (fifteen years ago) link
ahhhh :(
you have to wonder why they didn't do this on the first day (at least of the news, of whatever, before that tabloid printed it)
― Ludo, Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:20 (fifteen years ago) link
Lucky little bastard! I hope he's learnt his lesson.
I guess he won't have :(
― not_goodwin, Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:31 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/03/26/alfie-truth-proved-by-a-300-baby-test-115875-21228412/
― Event Horizon (Nicole), Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Pretty sure Jeremy Kyle would've done this for nowt.
― Townie Mong Shit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:03 (fifteen years ago) link
Slept with 6 boys ay?
To be honest, she’s doing the right thing getting it now as she ain’t going to get prettier.Plus, she’ll be set up for life with a nice council flat waiting for her when she’s old enough, free money and some maintenance.
― not_goodwin, Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:14 (fifteen years ago) link
Still plenty of scope for Jeremy Kyle to get involved
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:16 (fifteen years ago) link
But who WAS forming babbies with Chantelle then?
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:17 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't know, but I expect we'll now be treated to another round of outrage and soulseraching from the media. Oh joy.
― Say what you like Professor Words (Ned Trifle II), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:27 (fifteen years ago) link
That's what I meant about there still being scope for Jeremy Kyle to get involved
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:28 (fifteen years ago) link
cartman's father style expose has real potential.
― Anthony, I am not an Alcoholic & Drunk (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:32 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh, I wasn't aware of who Jeremy Kyle is. Sorry. (Xpost)
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:37 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh boy. Was Alfie used as a cover-up? Hiding a dark perverted family secret? Inquiring minds want to know!
― Gerard (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:55 (fifteen years ago) link
Plus, she’ll be set up for life with a nice council flat waiting for her when she’s old enough, free money and some maintenance.
― not_goodwin
Aye she's got it fucking made eh?
― the innermost wee guy (onimo), Thursday, 26 March 2009 12:14 (fifteen years ago) link
emphasis on "fucking"
― BADGES DON'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WALTZ OFF WITH A BABY (HI DERE), Thursday, 26 March 2009 12:15 (fifteen years ago) link
no, she's a victim here of ___________
― Anthony, I am not an Alcoholic & Drunk (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2009 12:16 (fifteen years ago) link
Mrs Thatcher
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 12:17 (fifteen years ago) link
― the innermost wee guy (onimo),
it was sarcasm
― not_goodwin, Thursday, 26 March 2009 13:24 (fifteen years ago) link
She's a victim of her whoremoans.
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 13:26 (fifteen years ago) link
so was mine xp
― the innermost wee guy (onimo), Thursday, 26 March 2009 13:26 (fifteen years ago) link
You guys
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 13:31 (fifteen years ago) link
babies having babies hurts everyone
― BADGES DON'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO WALTZ OFF WITH A BABY (HI DERE), Thursday, 26 March 2009 13:36 (fifteen years ago) link
'ow is babby formed, mate?
― otm morello (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 26 March 2009 14:23 (fifteen years ago) link
the REAL father:
http://www.computermuseum.li/Testpage/AlphieII.jpg
― latebloomer, Thursday, 26 March 2009 14:42 (fifteen years ago) link
smiling.
― Mark G, Thursday, 26 March 2009 14:44 (fifteen years ago) link
Isn't Maisie pregnant yet?
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 16:00 (fifteen years ago) link
Alfie's taking her out tonight to get back at Chantelle.
― not_goodwin, Thursday, 26 March 2009 16:09 (fifteen years ago) link
Alfie, the German version (Kathrin is 13, Christian is 15, they'll be Germany's youngest elders)
― Gerard (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 6 April 2009 09:22 (fifteen years ago) link
Zärtlich drückt er seine Freundin an sich, streichelt ihren kugelrunden Bauch.
sounds good in Deutsch!;)
at least Kathrin looks like 25 to me. (also i'm willing to bet that Bild will feature nude photos of Deutschland jungsten Mutter, when she's 18 and in desperate need of some dough)
― Ludo, Monday, 6 April 2009 09:48 (fifteen years ago) link
Christian has some bad 80s footballer hair going on there.
― ailsa, Monday, 6 April 2009 10:06 (fifteen years ago) link
wow yeah i would have guessed she was 18-19 and he was 22-23
― I wish I was the royal trux (sunny successor), Monday, 6 April 2009 12:46 (fifteen years ago) link
Christian has a shirt that says "GABBA" on it.
― Blackout Crew are the Beatles of donk (jim), Monday, 6 April 2009 12:50 (fifteen years ago) link
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8056700.stm
― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Monday, 18 May 2009 22:33 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah, i was gonna post earlier when press gazette announced reporting restrictions had been lifted. but reading the thread, the mirror had let the cat out of the bag anyway. courts continuing to do an awesome job of maintaining press freedom in the internet age then.
― joe, Monday, 18 May 2009 22:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Children's Secretary Ed Balls
― liberated erotic voyage of disco (Curt1s Stephens), Monday, 18 May 2009 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link
LOL
― jed_, Monday, 18 May 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link
oh man do I so want the inside story on how this one went down
my general advice to all pregnant women is that if you can either identify the father as a 13-year-old or a 15-year-old, go with 15, trust me
― nabisco, Monday, 18 May 2009 23:19 (fourteen years ago) link
Poor Alfie ;_; He thought he was a man!
― Gerard (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 18 May 2009 23:34 (fourteen years ago) link
Damn Crutis beat me to the Ed Balls zole.
― Trayce, Monday, 18 May 2009 23:35 (fourteen years ago) link
― nabisco, Tuesday, 19 May 2009 00:19 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark
you know the general outline right? the parents colluded in saying the younger kid was the father because he looks even younger than 13 and they knew they could sell the story.
― joe, Monday, 18 May 2009 23:36 (fourteen years ago) link