When is it time to let go of a friendship?

may all of us remain ilxor pals for a long time

things change naturally, lots if not most of my closest and most common friends or drinking pals from 14 years ago are either living elsewhere, are no longer friends of mine due to drifting social tides, or i hardly see them. they've been replaced. the ones who remain during all those periods are the strong friends you need to hang on to. there's nothing wrong or necessarily even sad about friendships ending (or, less dramatically, fading.) it's happening all the time. mono no aware.

yeah thanks for that al. on the buddhism thread i've pointed out that i need to read more about change, because i fucking suck at dealing with it. i cannot "go with the flow" or whatever. i cannot keep up with the times.

i'm the same way fwiw. it's hard for me to set goals and move forward with stuff sometimes because secretly i just want things to stay the same. but that's not how life goes. things change with or without your consent.

I'm not great at it myself. But I learned in the last couple of years that familiarity doesn't always = good. Letting go of some things can make room in your life for new experiences/people who can add to the world you've built for yourself.

You don't have to throw everything away, and you aren't. You still have a lot of the things that make you you, and the hard, rough parts are made smooth with a little bit of time

I need some more friends, or to come up with a better friend schedule. I want to eat dinner and have a conversation tonight and I'm home alone.

this isn't something i've really encountered (except, notably, with my ex-wife, who was my best friend). like, sometimes ppl drift away because you're in different places/have different interests/kids or whatever, but i've never felt that the line must be drawn *heah*

that said, i am currently struggling with a very longtime friend who is totally good and generous to me personally and fine to be around, but holds some pretty fucked up beliefs, cheats on his wife, etc. i'm not sure how much i can or should compartmentalize that

things change with or without your consent.

otm

Letting go of some things can make room in your life for new experiences/people who can add to the world you've built for yourself.

sometimes perhaps things do have to be "let go." old habits, old whatever. bleh.

mh: feelin the "need some more friends" thing. thank god i have y'all but i'd like some more ppl irl too.

mookie: i guess i have been, many times, someone who's difficult or w/e to be friends w/. oh well. as far as your other point goes, i don't know what i'd do. that's an interesting situation. what other ppl do to other ppl prob doesn't concern me as much as what they do to me, but

I have a couple I've been hanging with a bit this summer but they "activity people" in that they go to nearly every festival event (art, food, music, beer, ethnic) and invite a giant posse of friends each time. I get that it's in the hopes a handful will show up, but.... I really don't like these other people!

I've heard this expression that I've heard to be useful

"When someone withdraws more from your emotional bank account than they deposit, it's time to close the account."

i have trouble agreeing with that

i recently made a new friend but then i had sex with him. oops

hahaha good post

(no sarcasm)

lol surm <3

sorry about this whole mess, markers. can't be pleasant. hope you get some peace of mind!

thank you ffm. things are ok!

and we're talking again

although i just said something semi-controversial, so we'll see

if i really got into what's going on here, then i think this would make more sense, but i don't want to do that

well theres a good friend of mine i dont talk to anymore as there was just too much hassle between him and my girlfriend. hes a guy thats quite uncompromsing and there was definitely a bit of jealousy when my new gf was taking up most of my time (he had recently split up with his long term gf). anyway things came to a head when himself and my gf had a row and he said some nasty things to her. so i pretty much cut my losses with him. which is hard too, i do miss chatting with him but there was no way i could keep on with my relationship with him carping from the sidelines tbh.

good luck, markers.

let go of all friendships

Friendships are a bitch.

I want to end this 'friendship' with this girl because, basically, well, not to sound all superficial and like an insensitive gross jerk, but I just wanted to get in her panties.

I realised one outing too late she only likes me as a 'friend'. That's cool.

So, I start flaking out on her and I'm super brief and vague and tell her stuff like 'sure just give me a call whenever'. I come back from a trip and she hadn't contacted me all week and I thought, 'Yes...finally, get out of my life'. Then last night she says "Happy Halloween! How have you been? :)'.

ARGHHHHHH. Go away. I was playing along because I have already invested enough time and have performed some of my magic on her to just let her go so easily, just in case.

Ya, I'm stringing her along until she gets tired of trying, because I view this relationship as disposable.

I feel it's important for me to clarify that if I consider you my friend, or best friend, I will do just about anything for you. But if I don't, I am a totally different person.

Plus, I sense she is using me for my knowledge of the English language, because she has asked me to help her with her homework.

(And she just sent me a text...)

it is time for her to let go of your friendship

*hugs* we're here for you if you need us

Can someone forward her this thread? Maybe she'll get the hint.

how old is she?

....homework......

24

So yeah, I have nothing helpful to say - only that you're not alone.

― luna (luna.c)

and she is on a student visa or something?

sorry to say this crimonhexagon but i feel like you might have been exploited and deceived here by someone whose apparently good natured company is nothing more than a crude wish to exploit your extravagant capabilities with the english language

Ya

What do you make of it, doc?

yeah this sounds like a low-level catfish con, CH.

I know! She's trying to switch it around!

sometimes you just have to accept that you play the good samaritan and snakes will just use you crimsy

http://i.imgur.com/KGfexPu.png

81u35ph3r01d

snakes?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_VdSCMJhx0

At work so I'll watch that viddy later

really gutted to find out that there are people out there in the world who would use other people in the manner that is happening to crimsonhex right now. Fucking awful. Hope you can pull through this man

THE SUFFERING ARTISTE SHACKLED BY THE UNWAVERING HAND OF THE MAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWZTwXq9CGo

sexagon you're a bad friend

really gutted to find out that there are people out there in the world who would use other people in the manner that is happening to crimsonhex right now. Fucking awful. Hope you can pull through this man

― 乒乓, Friday, November 1, 2013 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If ever I needed the guidance of a higher power, it is now.

It's strange, but when I sometimes feel I am down and out, there is a sudden urge to connect with her or something that embodies her as a concept.

Brothels seem to be out of the question, because I am a very hygienic human being. I do it for the love I have of myself, yet contemplating all this amongst the metaphorical trash around me, I can but look at the stars unwontingly, hoping for a better tomorrow as I have grown accustomed to do.

sexagon you're a bad friend

― diarmuid o'gallus (imago), Friday, November 1, 2013 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

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