the most promising young american author is TAO LIN

yeah i'm gonna try the bison burger and the crocodile burger and maybe the antelope burger too one day

i've had the bison burger before and, i think, the elk burger if that exists and i'm not imagining it. i wasn't a fan of alligator when i ate it once in college (someone was barbecuing it randomly) but crocodile might be different.

treeship i think your open-faced sincerity on these boards is a good match for tao lin's unapologetic candidness

thanks. we should meet for open faced antelope burgers at some point.

160 mg of adderall a day isn't overdoing it but if you're taking that much you've built up a good tolerance with xanax to take the edge off. but when you get to that point, it must have lost most of its magic.

how are they pernicious, tree?

where i come from the combo would be morphine+methylphenidate in nose or iv

dylannn is one of my favorite ilxors

xp i took about 100mg or more of dexedrine or adderall (i would change my mind about which i liked better) per day in college and i think it was a negative thing to be doing. it made it more difficult to sleep and caused me to be stressed out without realizing it and that led to an overall deterioration of my physical and mental health. i started taking it for normal reasons -- to concentrate, because i had been diagnosed with "ADD" -- but eventually i just always wanted to be on it all the time or else i felt foggy and unintelligent. among its other negative effects, it made me less creative and also more rigid in the way i would evaluate things, like judgmental of myself and others, which is the opposite of how i generally am... so the accumulated effect of that habit just made me feel like a really different person. i also think it was a contributing factor in having a severe depressive episode at the end of college, but i had had those before -- though less severe -- so i don't know to what extent i can blame adderall/dexedrine.

i've seen people become really dependent on xanax. personally, i like it but i can see how if i had access to it it would be another thing i would want to take all the time and i feel that would be bad.

treeship do you like cocaine

i've never done it. there have been addicts in my family so i have always been wary of it. probably i would like it at first as i did like adderall/dexedrine (which i was prescribed) each time i would take it and just didn't like the accumulated effect of having it be a part of my life.

also i drink an insane amount of coffee, especially since i don't take dexedrine anymore.

last question promise have you ever taken lsd or eaten mushrooms?

no. those are the drugs i have declined most often at college. i stayed away from them because i have had really strong, horrible hallucinogenic experiences on strong strains of marijuana. or this happened twice, with one time being particularly nightmarish. that was in copenhagen so i'm not sure if maybe i had some weird stuff. so i guess i am afraid of that happening.

also, now that i am thinking of it 100mg might have been an exaggeration. i think with dexedrine you take less than adderall but i don't remember what the dosage of those pills were. it doesn't matter, i guess.

do you like hallucinogens dylannn? what is your favorite class of drugs?

also, another treeship drug fact: i think my lack of enthusiasm for drugs might have contributed to the dissolution of my last relationship but i don't know.

better than the opposite

maybe. there were other things going on though so i can't really say. shouldn't have brought that up because i don't want to talk about it.

Other messages have been posted since you last looked... Please review and if you want to change your message, do so before posting.
maybe. there were other things going on though so i can't really say. shouldn't have brought that up because i don't want to talk about it.

― Treeship, Thursday, July 11, 2013 5:08 AM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i want to hear that story, tree

sorry

sorry dylann. you should answer my question.

you want a brief snapshot or more indepth

whatever you want. in-depth if its' not too much trouble.

treeship have you ever seen valiums

"seen"?

actually, i don't think so. i googled them and they have a V in the middle, which doesn't look familiar.

this thread isn't about me though, it's about tao lin. and also about dylannn sharing his drug preferences because he still hasn't done that.

i dont think ive seen actual 'valium' since i was in high school idk, i was wondering if they even make it anymore

xp - i think talking about whether or not people still take valium is fine for this thread

i think people still take it but xanax might have usurped its popularity.

highlights of drug use

* first drug i ever got high on-- and i mentioned it on ilx recently-- was dextromethorphan-containing robitussin cough syrup. dissociative in the same family as ketamine or pcp or mxe. they all have their own distinct flavour but similar, similar, and i think dxm might be the chillest variation. took a bit of work to master drinking robitussin extra strength. turned off lights in my room and listened to art bell on am radio out of the rockies, all the way from colorado. started seeing things, sensation of floating out of my body.

* found a qp at least of typical late 90s homegrown big bud, red hairs not very crystally, in my dad's closet along with naked polaroids of my parents dated to the mid 80s, an ammunition box of sex toys, and tons of vhs porn. i borrowed some papers off the dresser while i was in there, rolled a joint, watched letterman, smoked, could see my thoughts moving as if on an urban traffic grid with stoplights directing etc.

* bought 5 grams of mushrooms. 10th grade? ate them in the dark. had a sudden feeling of flying out the window into some fire-lit tribal drum circle, completely lost touch with reality, slowly came to and realized no difference in visuals with eyes open or closed, had no idea where i was. slowly came down and grooved on the hairs on my legs flowing like waves. kept eating mushrooms, lower doses. during this time went to first year of university and took ecstasy alone in my room, friends online hooked me up with doses of amt and 2cb and a few other things. had fun. during this time, getting high became an important hobby. smoked quite a bit of weed.

* bought a tab of lsd. watched some movie on my laptop. felt nothing. five hours in hit with wave of buzzing paranoia, a feeling like mentally looking in the mirror impossible to describe, like i was contemplating myself in the third person accompanied by horrible rush of anxiety. this feeling lasted for several weeks and was only tamed with paxil and clonazepam. during this time i also took prescription painkillers pretty frequently and tried morphine and did my first skinny rail of powder. if you dig back to ten years ago, read some of my ilx posts, i was kinda fucked up, definitely on some untreated mental illness shit. had panic attacks. hallucinated. self-destructive. once got robbed after i got set up by this broad that was taking me to buy pills, first time i ever had a gun pulled on me.

* while in china for the first time so... 2005? i went to a club and the table was covered in white powder, thought it was coke. someone scraped me up a fat line and i snorted it. wasn't coke. it was ketamine. best experience i ever had. stopped taking paxil + clonazepam combo and had limited withdrawal effects. took ketamine regularly. dancing on k is pure euphoria like driving a supersmooth giant robot from a floating twenty feet above the earth pov. felt mentally healthier.

* despite fears about my fragile mental health, still had the urge to get high. when i moved back to van, i started smoking weed again, very carefully, and found out it was probably safe. smoked good weed everyday. got put in touch with a delivery service. made a decent amount of coin resaling the weed i got and finding drugs for people i knew. did cocaine once or twice a week with work people, usually in a booth at boston pizza while watching the canucks or in a casino bathroom while my friends were playing baccarat. once got arrested shoplifting a ritter sport marzipan from a sobey's in richmond while i had a couple grams in my pocket i was holding onto for someone. police came. no problem. also had several fratboy friends at ubc who i did shrooms with a few times, very low doses. while catering a shitty luau party at that boat house or whatever in stanley park, after carving up the whole roast pig, some bros in hawaiian shirts offered me "molly," knew what it was, enjoyed it.

* slightly dark period. broke up with my girlfriend. got fucked up on purpose everyday. never went to sleep by natural means. dropped out of school. took lsd again successfully. first short story i ever published i wrote the day after, but no real connection because i was fairly sober for most of the editing and rewriting. went to china again, smoked hash fairly often but it was weak and perfect for my mental state. got happier. tried methamphetamine for the first time, hoping it was real north korean product. came back to canada. smoke weed fairly often. use as creative tool and lifestyle accessory and to chill out.

xpost i think lorazepam for lesser issues and clorazepam for greater issues have quietly replaced valium (diazepam) but i'm not a pharmacist

usually in a booth at boston pizza while watching the canucks or in a casino bathroom while my friends were playing baccarat

huh

i have a rx for clorazepam but i usually sell it because i dont need it as much as i need money

i'm going to pick up taipei based on treeship's account, but damn this thing sounds so utterly depressing. i hope the protagonist kills himself in the end as an act of mercy for the human race.

one weird overlap between tao lin fans and tedious drug talk fans

does the narrator think about student loans when he's on drugs?

He doesn't have student loan debt i don't think.

from what I remember reading his parents paid for his degree at NYU and bought him an apartment in the city

if i had lots of money i would probably do tons of drugs. i love drugs. but i never have money for drugs AND records. one of them had to go. plus, i gotta get up in the morning...

dylannn's drugs version of Brewster's Millions has taught you nothing then

i dated a girl who was a trust-fund druggo and briefly brushed up with that world. it's fucking depressing. maybe i'm just getting flashbacks with this.

When ppl say stuff like that I feel like lex a couple of years ago being baffled at weeknnd fans talking about how depressing parties are

Idk maybe trust fund druggos are doing it really wrong but drvqs are great

the voice of young america has parents to put him/her through nyu and pay for an apartment in the city and drug abuse? that represents so many young americans. high five

i love drugs. they're the best. sometimes i wish someone would give me some cocaine. i used to love that stuff. snorted my weight in coke in high school. haven't done it since my stripper girlfriend brought some home in the early 90's. she got it as a tip. i love that smell. i don't know anyone who does it though. or they aren't telling me if they do. hallucinogens i could probably get around here, but i wouldn't do that anywhere near my kids. my kids would have to be safely in another state. or i would have to be. i love pain pills and opiates. would swallow any of that anyone has handy. never wanted to do heroin once i found out that if you do it enough you don't get high anymore you just do it to maintain and not get sick. which seems like a drag. i like getting high. i don't really do anything much anymore though. sad to say. don't even drink really. smoke pot occasionally. i actually just broke down and bought some pot. only smoke at night though. no big deal. netflix. i don't really like doing drugs with other people. just like to watch t.v. i'm a boring drug lover. don't really have much interest in club/internet/designer drugs that make you feel like you are dead and in a hole and all that. i'm too old for that shit. ecstacy is fun though. would do. all drugs are fun if you don't do them too much. i took way too much valium/xanax in high school - my dad had an endless supply - and it really did a number on me. i was already depressed, so, i was just adding insult to injury. should have just stuck to the acid and the coke and the booze. the fun stuff.

oh, but anyway, most drug novels are kinda bad. there are exceptions of course. jesus' son. requiem for a dream. to name two.

Has any author ever represented all young Americans

as long as they represent the richest young americans i'm all for it

"Has any author ever represented all young Americans"

judy blume? maurice sendak? richard scarry?

I dont think his parents send him money in this book but they seem to have paid for his college. That makes him as privileged as i am, i guess. My dad also lives in a major asian capital too but im not ethnically asian. If i write a novel i'll make sure to not send you a copy.

I sort of hate drugs to an extent i am embarassed about. They've only ever made things worse for me.

literature and culture serve a class function since we don't have an outright aristocracy here, so it's not a shock we mostly just get novels by and about rich kids farting around for a couple hundred pages. doesn't mean there isn't any value there ... somewhere... but it's a little wearying when there aren't any relatable voices in a medium you love.

You need to have a good deal of free time to write a novel so that's a factor. Although, maybe not because the writers of the past seemed busy. Clarice Lispector was in law school and working full time as a journalist when she wrote near to the wild heart

I don't think you need a ton of free time, you just need passion + enthusiasm