Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

Fuck a laundry, it's like doing a final exam in topology sometimes the way shit comes out.

I've always railed against these acronyms, but at least SCOTUS distinguishes it from state supreme courts, a lot of which exist. POTUS is just pointless, and FLOTUS sounds like something left over in the toilet after an incomplete flush.

the phrase "staycation"

breakfast places that call omelettes ommys

WHAT.

America, please cut it out with the baby-talk. It's lacking in dignity.

In our office, we put all the used teaspoons (used for making tea etc) in a mug containing hot water and leave it by the hot water taps. The water in the mug usually gets changed twice a day. Two things IA me:

a) Just put the spoons back in the mug when you've finished with them rather than leaving them in the side ffs. Leaving them out looks messy and isn't really in keeping with the spirit of arrangement.
b) When taking a spoon from the mug, a quick rinse under the tap is acceptable; spending 5 minutes scrubbing it like its been used to clean someones ass is not. WTF hygiene freaks.

I think ommys is actually Dutch.

Wow, so in England, not only do you get just one spoon, but you have to share it with the others

Who calls omelettes ommys? That sounds like an Australian thing to do. Everything there gets a cute, truncated nickname.

oi, ommys in the arvo

Wow, so in England, not only do you get just one spoon, but you have to share it with the others

You'd think their inexpensive nature would ensure that there are plentiful supplies of spoons, but no, everywhere I have worked has had a shortage. I assumed it was an office thing rather than a GB thing.

At least they haven't tried foisting those stupid little wooden stirrers onto me yet.

We got goddam 40 steel teaspoons inside one mug with hot water, here!

Sometimes coworkers bring in excess apples, oranges or whatnot from home fruit trees that people can take home. Pretty standard

The other day someone left a storebought bag of *rotting* plums, fermented syrup oozing out in a pool all over the counter. Literally half the plums were collapsed and rotten and fermented.

NO WE DONT WANT YOUR ROTTING PLUMS YOU FUCKING SAVAGE

(*not innocuous or irrational)

What the hell kind of person brings in rotten produce to share with the office? Actually, it sounds like something that my cousin's (other) grandmother, who had Alzheimer's, would have done (well, not take it to work, but bring it out when you went to visit her and tried to give it to you). Come to think of it, my grandmother who did not have Alzheimer's always tried to feed us something like brown, partially liquefied lettuce or ice cream that was chewy with freezer burn or sandwiches no bread with little divots missing where she'd plucked out the moldy bits when we went to her house.

I think ommys is actually Dutch.

― Jeff, Thursday, June 27, 2013 1:24 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's not.

xp I know someone whose mother-in-law does that. You go to her house for "dinner" and she finds the last inch of dried out tomato sauce in a jar in the back of the fridge and puts it on stale crackers and calls it bruschetta.

Actually, I think it's Chilean.

Or martian.

xp I always chalked it up to some lingering "lived through the Depression" psychosis. That is at least a kinder approach than "cheap, gross old lady," which was probably a pretty defensible opinion.

i click this thread occasionally and absent-mindedly bookmark it even though i don't want to see it all the time

that's almost perfect

I've got bad timing.

As a grandchild, my Depression-era grandmothers would've pulled the ol' "tomato sauce on a cracker" business, but now, as a parent, the Boomer grandparents of today bring over for the kids milkshakes, cookies and fast food.

Don't know what I'll serve as a Gen X paw paw. Maybe something ironic like Pez and Crystal Pepsi.

there is one cheap gross old lady who i am pretty sure is the culprit

We've got a guy who brings in ducks during hunting season. The whole office goes apeshit for them, but I abstain. At least he puts them in the freezer, but still.

I would probably accept a (dead and dressed) duck from a coworker.

i have a duck in the freezer! it's from costco though.

Tomorrow Feedbin will be moving to a new home at SoftLayer. Feedbin will be down from 9:00AM PST - 3:00PM PST.

daylight time, goddammit

the spoons issue has received some scholarly attention http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1322240/

when the same people who just insisted on driving 50 in a 35 and pass you for driving too slow hit a road with a 50 mph limit and then drive 10 under in the left lane for no explicable reason.

they're just fucking with you.

touchless faucets in public bathrooms that only give hot water

because the only possible thing you could want water for in a public bathroom is to eliminate the germs from your filthy hands

Reading this morning that they are rebooting Terminator. There was a time when movie sequels were a big sign of the creatively bankrupt nature of the movie industry. But really a sequel is 100% more original than an effing remake. Damn Hollywood forever.

people still watch hollywood movies?

GD cars that are started in novel, confusing ways, e.g. the 2013 Prius I rented today. The manuals (2 of them) said to have the door lock remote inside the car and press the Start button (and the illustration showed the remote inside the driver's pocket).

Finally called iGo and they told me you have to hold the remote up to the Start button, press the button and wait for the green light. Then press and hold it in until the display to say it was running. But don't move the remote or you have to start over!

And what does "B" mean on the gear selector? The quick-reference manual explained D(rive), N(eutral), and R(everse), but not "B." B(rake)? B(lastoff)? B(ut I'm a Cheerleader)?

people who say 'as well'

'5c from every burger will be donated to charity!! omg aren't we fabulously generous'

how baout (a) i give $3 to charity (b) fuck you

also, baristas who are always up for a fucking chat

the word 'barista'.

Also, the corporate "asking of you" which happens in Waitrose, particularly..

Lateish Sunday:
Asst: "Had a good weekend?"
Me: "Yeah!"

Now, she probably wants to know why, and I am not about to tell her, am I?

I bet it makes her irrationally angry that you won't tell her.

She would be if I did.

Waitrose: fostering irrational anger in customers and staff since 1904.

jesse the B is for engine braking

Oh weird. I never would have expected that.

- when people carry more than two bags on their regular commute (nb I sometimes carry three bags - purse, laptop bag, and grocery bag, and that makes me angry, too).
- when people act weird in elevators. It happened more in my old job where everybody was super weird but it happened here today. Guy got in the elevator and kept half flapping his arms and whispering to himself.
- the guy at Argo Tea this morning who said, "Absolutely not!" when I asked him if they carried any decaf black tea.
- the guy in front of me at the shoe repair shop this morning who spent ten full minutes with the shop assistant picking out shoelaces for his shitty frat boy suede high top oxfords, including dickering over the correct length and color and then pulling his shoes off and slapping them on the counter and asking the assistant to lace them (the assistant seemed happy to do so, so I don't think the actual request was out of line, but at that point this guy could have rescued a baby from a burning building and I would have been annoyed if it meant I had to wait any longer to drop off my sandals).

In conclusion, I should probably work from home this afternoon because I am clearly not fit to be dealing with other humans.

- the guy at Argo Tea this morning who said, "Absolutely not!" when I asked him if they carried any decaf black tea.

I'm not sure if he meant it this way, but one of my IAs is a waiter who thinks he's being funny by saying no.

"And could we get a refill on chips?"
"Absolutely not!"
"..."
"Hahaha, I'll be right back with your chips."

I don't know how he meant it, but I was still fuming over Mr. Picky Shoelaces so it pissed me off.

I was so guilty of making terrible sever jokes when I waited tables. I remember very clearly busing a table and saying to the person with the completely cleaned plate, "Well, you must not have liked your entree very much!" and really hating myself.

My least favorite train bag combo is laptop bag, purse, gym bag, yoga mat. And a newspaper.