The whole beginning was just...MY KINGDOM FOR A CONCRETE NOUN. Control your fear, my anger outweighs by fear, vengeance your truth, all this grandiose talk that added up to jack shit. Between this and Episode One I'm surprised Liam Neeson hasn't jumped off a roof. Morgan Freeman bringing amiable warmth to a movie is right up there with me taking a good shit after eating taco bell in the Not News department. Michael Caine got shouldered with the rare and clumsy capper quips. Christian Bale was passable as Bruce Wayne but added little and JESUS CHRIST his Batman voice is hysterical. He already sounds a tad awkward anyway but when he gravels up and goes for ominous he's just pathetic. Michael Keaton did a way better job giving Batman a personality.
Aside from a few early moments with Thomas Wayne (well cast) and maybe Gordon (Gary Oldman was the only actor who seemed really intriguing in the parts I caught, sort of reminded me of Laurence Olivier in The Boys From Brazil in his determination to not just coast on skills a la Caine and Freeman but have something going under the surface despite being in an overwraught joke of a movie), the scenes just zipped along without gripping me despite their weighty tone. Actually it might be BECAUSE of that tone. I know a lot of people are anxious for a 'serious' Batman movie but Batman and all superheroes are to some degree completely ludicrous. It's hard to look at a LIVE HUMAN wearing that outfit and not giggle, ESPECIALLY when they're being excruciatingly earnest, and this movie seemed to be under the notion that we were at church.
I have a hard time believing this movie is gonna have legs at the theatre, but hey evidently people like draggy, self-serious tripe. I did like Holmes' homage to the batnipples.
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:46 (eighteen years ago) link
Can you point me at a movie that is enjoyable if you sleep through half of it?
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:48 (eighteen years ago) link
DAMN YOU DANG!
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:49 (eighteen years ago) link
(xpost: HAHA)
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:49 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:50 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:51 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:53 (eighteen years ago) link
― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:54 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:55 (eighteen years ago) link
x-post dude I was SO paying attention to the movie. I wasn't blitzed off my gourd.
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:56 (eighteen years ago) link
"Oh god no! I fell asleep five minutes in! The music were awful, the lyrics were laughable, the costumes were ludicrous, and the blocking was from a public-school talent show. Nighttrain?"
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:57 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 12:59 (eighteen years ago) link
― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:06 (eighteen years ago) link
Miccio wins!
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:08 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:09 (eighteen years ago) link
(xpost: Tom, I don't know exactly how much I'd have to drink before voluntarily watching "The Hunger" but I suspect it might put me in the hospital.)
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:11 (eighteen years ago) link
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:12 (eighteen years ago) link
Dammit how come I remember the exact track order of Morrissey albums and not the names of lesbian vampire films?
BTW if Miccio had posted saying "I walked out halfway through, it was shit and here's why" would people still complain? I agree the "easy dismissal" comment was way cheeky.
― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:13 (eighteen years ago) link
Tom, please to research the name of this "lesbian vampire" movie so I can get my post-work alcopop schwerve on. (Oh dang was it some Deneuve / Sarandon nookie? Oh yeah.)
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:13 (eighteen years ago) link
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:14 (eighteen years ago) link
ESPECIALLY the batmobile. The batmobile ESPECIALLY.
NB: I have always hated Batman.
― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:15 (eighteen years ago) link
No not that one either Andrew :(
― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:15 (eighteen years ago) link
Confirmed: Yes, Tim Booth from James as Mr Zsaz!
― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:15 (eighteen years ago) link
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:16 (eighteen years ago) link
(xpost: ... "Queen of the Damned"? Hahahaha.)
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link
Also I love IMDB so much: all 15 films with vampire-lesbian as a plot keyword
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:21 (eighteen years ago) link
Well, yes. See above:
I have a gigantic list of mean things to insinuate about people who didn't like this movie that I might get around to posting after lunchtime. So far this is easily my movie of the year.
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:22 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:22 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:24 (eighteen years ago) link
My unreasoning ardor aside, the thing I'm reacting to here is the idea that if you only watch part of something in an altered state, your opinion on it is just as valid as someone who watched the entire thing sober. That particular flavor of egomania really, really, really irks me (largely because I am prone towards displaying it and therefore seek to crush it in myself and wherever I perceive it).
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:25 (eighteen years ago) link
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:26 (eighteen years ago) link
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:26 (eighteen years ago) link
Also, I would LOVE to know where one can glean any humorlessness from my posts. Do I need to wear a clown nose on my wang to get roffles?
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:27 (eighteen years ago) link
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0066518/
xpost I think the critical line "If this superhero blockbuster was any good I wouldn't need to watch the entire thing sober" is a valid one! If very Miccio-ish.
― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:27 (eighteen years ago) link
I am not a humorless person who is a fan of Batman.
And to demostrate that I have a sense of humor, allow me to cut and paste the entire contents of a joke-of-the-day mailing list that I have been receiving for 4 years in my next several posts...
― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:28 (eighteen years ago) link
x-post
― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:28 (eighteen years ago) link
He's the guy that Dr. Crane is defending in his first scene, and the one that Batman swoops on when they're all menacing Katie Holmes near the end.
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:29 (eighteen years ago) link
― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:30 (eighteen years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:30 (eighteen years ago) link