Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

also

'manifest your destiny'

- when people leave the sounds on their phone turned on. Not just the ringer, which is bad enough and really, anybody who keeps the ringer on their phone turned on when out in public is a disgusting savage, but text message alert sounds and email alert sounds and, god help me, the key clicks and other skeumorphic noises. Or game sounds. Sitting in a public waiting room and playing a game on your phone with the game sounds on should be an imprisonable offense.

I just have to wonder what people are thinking when they are like, "Yeah, my phone makes a clicking noise every time I press a key. That's great! I hope everybody on the train enjoys the nonstop noises coming from this device as much as I do." Or are they super duper clueless? I guess a least a percentage of them are deaf/hearing impaired and don't know the phone is making noise and I apologize to those people for this angry post.

yeah people who play phone games with loud game sounds on the subway make me want to grab the phone from their hand and throw it out the window

someone who's doing that is so clearly oblivious that they probably won't even notice

huh where did my slot machine game go, where am I

lol

Any accident befalling people who play slots on their phones can't come quickly enough. World, save yourself from shiny-shiny cartoon-eyes moron-magnet phone games.

The Stamps.com rep said I could have a scale delivered to an alternate address by calling the USPS with my tracking number.

The USPS' automated system offers no options for changing delivery address, and it makes it pretty much impossible to get to an operator. If I give the tracking number, it tells me that no further information or assistance is available, then "Thank you for using the US Postal Service. Goodbye."

If I say I don't have the tracking number: "Please call back when you have the tracking number. Thank you for using the US Postal Service. Goodbye."

Or, "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your response. Thank you for using the US Postal Service. Goodbye."

they definitely told you USPS, and not UPS? I didn't think the postal service allowed much functionality with their tracking numbers anyway, except to determine delivery. But I've been wrong many times

Yes, USPS for sure b/c it's from Stamps.com.

It turns out the only packages you can re-route are ones sent by Express Mail, and mine was sent by Priority Mail.

jerks

Anyway, the absolutely infuriating part was being given one shot at getting help, then being told goodbye.

Please follow these important steps: Goodbye

the bagging area on the local supermarket robo-tills was so packed with their plastic bags that there wasn't enough space to balance all my purchases. it won't let you continue until everything you've swiped so far has been put on the scales.

(really not sure why it does this and it annoyingly means you can't put stuff directly into a backpack, say. which i always do.)

The use of the phrase "part-exing" in the We Buy Any Car advert. What, is "part-exchanging" too long a word for you?

To get a human at the USPS, start pressing 0 and don't stop. I learned that when I was trying to track down missing packages.

my wife is part of an informal mom's group in the neighborhood, and they text like FIENDS. This annoys both my wife, whose phone is blowing up all the time with nonsense, and me, because I tend to stay up later than my wife and they continue to text and text and I hear her text alerts every two minues. Also, we don't have an unlimited text plan, because we kept my wife's grandfathered unlimited data plan, which we figure is worth more than unlimited texts.

Anyway, to make things worse, she texted them to ask if they could stop texting her so much, because she's running out of texts, and several of them responded "I have unlimited texts." "Me too!" "Me too!" "Yeah, I also have unlimited texts!" DURRRRRRRR!

Anyway, the real reason to be irrationally angry is that the phone company forces you into this position in the first place.

You can solve one of those problems and make the world a better place by turning off the text alert noise.

yeah, I just don't want to do that and then forget to turn it back on and then my wife misses texts the next day

American cellphone calling plans drive me nuts. Who has any control over incoming calls or texts? Why are you expected to pay for them in any case?

there are many things about Verizon that make me, I think, quite rationally angry

yeah being angry at phone companies does not belong itt

group texting drives me bananas; same with group messaging on FB, where you get maybe 2 useful messages and the rest is
LOL OMG ME TOO
ME TOO AHAHAH
MEE TOO WEEE YAY
HAHA WEE OMG ME TOO
fuck right off with that shit, i'm turning off my notifications, removing myself from the conversation and wishing death on you and your family

^^^

OTM

yes, that is exactly what the moms' group texts are like! And anyone who knows my wife knows she does not suffer that kind of giddy nonsense gladly.

gah you broke my stride

heh I don't really get IA but one thing that gets to me on fb is ppl who put kisses at the end of literally every post, so more like
LOL OMG ME TOO xxx
ME TOO AHAHAH xxx
MEE TOO WEEE YAY x
HAHA WEE OMG ME TOO xxxxxx

STOP IT YOU WEIRDOS

that just means they are dtf

sim to people who "lol" to everything and include "lol" in messages that aren't humorous

I'm not bothered about the xx's but THANK [DEITY REDACTED] none of my friends text LOLs and other TLAs all the time.

"it's a text, jeremy! if text kisses were real kisses, the whole world would be an orgy!"

xxp

xxx

what is a tla and what's wrong with lol?

TLA: Three Letter Acronym.

Nowt wrong with LOL in the context of something actually being funny.

oic compulsive lols yea that is annoying lol

yeah it's just as a nervous tic that bothers me. Whenever I've gotten into a g-chat or text conversation that devolves into that, I start to feel like neither of us are sure whether either of us are being sincere.

lmao i hate tlas rofl

lol true

*says nothing*

group texting drives me bananas; same with group messaging on FB, where you get maybe 2 useful messages and the rest is
LOL OMG ME TOO
ME TOO AHAHAH
MEE TOO WEEE YAY
HAHA WEE OMG ME TOO
fuck right off with that shit, i'm turning off my notifications, removing myself from the conversation and wishing death on you and your family

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, June 10, 2013 4:47 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No beef, but if I had a nickel for every time I've clicked on a newly-updated bookmark only to find a lolz from ya vg, I'd at least have $5.

Most of them are lolz to witty and wry comments I've said, so you got a pass, but just saying.

ILX lols mean something, maaaaan.

lol

Veg gives good LOLs.

ahem the loling was not the point PP jeez

AND I COPPED TO IT RIGHT BEFORE YOU POSTED THAT SO THERE

:)

i hate typing on my phone and then the incessant lol'ing just kinda took over I'M SORRY but I am what I am

- emails from twitter to tell me the people I already follow on twitter have tweeted

"P___ L___, J___ P___, and 6 others have Tweets for you"

Yeah, that one drives me nuts too.

"Come abooooooard, we're expecting youuuuuuuuuuuuu"

LOL

^ I dedicate that post to pplains.