Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

I'm not bothered by it at all unless they are relating an anecdote, then it becomes difficult to listen to

I have this uncle who is ALWAYS bugging me to play music with him and his buddies. I've done it several times and it has never been the slightest bit enjoyable, and now the thing is (1) I have a demanding job (2) I have a baby and (3) I don't even play drums anymore, like I haven't touched a kit in over a year, so I'm really out of shape, which would make it even less fun than it already is to slog through mott the hoople covers and "originals" with him and his stinky friends. But no matter how many times I tell him I can't do it, he doesn't take the hint and just keeps bugging me. I was like "I DO NOT PLAY DRUMS ANYMORE" and he's like "But come on, you can't really lose it" and I'm like "YES YOU CAN. I HAVE NO CHOPS. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN OVER A YEAR." And he insists that I "promised" him we'd play, which never fucking happened. BTW he hasn't had a job in several years for no apparent reason.

So that is an objectively pretty innocuous thing that makes me deeply fucking irrationally angry

He's not listening. You're going to have to yell at him.

The sports show I used to produce, the co-hosts used to say "...if you will," at the end of every other sentence when they were stalling until the next commercial.

mediocre rice

Loud music in clothing stores

spikey spherical shells from liquid amber trees littering the ground

jack in the box commercials

hotel rooms without ipod docking stations

brimstead otfm. getting one of those assholes stuck in yr flip flop or sliding on one on the sidewalk = rage

1) staking out a spot near the stage because i'm short and can't see anything when tall dudes are in front of me -- and then finding that my perfect spot has become ground zero for a fucking MOSHPIT, ughhh, and a bunch of drunk bros are kicking my shin, jabbing me in the boob with their elbow, stepping on my foot, spilling the melted ice from their drink on me. this isn't even a "mosh" kind of band, they're jaded new yorkers who play vu/modern lovers/pavement type stuff.

2) someone e-mails me back about a job i applied for. she says "can you come in tomorrow at 10 a.m. for an interview with our general manager?" i get up early, put on a suit, go to kinko's to print out another copy of my resume, and my bf is nice enough to drive me out to the job site in woodland hills, on the other side of the san fernando valley. i get to the interview and meet with the guy, who says "oh, i'm not actually doing the hiring, but i'll fax over your resume to the person who is -- he's down in orange county today." the meeting lasted about five minutes. uh.

I was like "I DO NOT PLAY DRUMS ANYMORE" and he's like "But come on, you can't really lose it" and I'm like "YES YOU CAN. I HAVE NO CHOPS. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN OVER A YEAR."

tbf, you really can't lose it. It might take a song or two, but that shit'll come right back.

BTW he hasn't had a job in several years for no apparent reason

The apparent reason might be that he's determined to play in a Mott the Hoople cover band

office assistant: 'ok just let me know yr availability so i can schedge a time'

self: 'blah blah any day after next tuesday, any time in the late afternoon'

o.a.: 'so how about thursday at 11 am?'

self: 'no ahem ^^^^^^'

o.a. falls silent for several days

It's worse getting one of those flipflops stuck in yr aashol etc ....

re "and things of that nature", an old friend of mine who I haven't seen for several years would often say "and whatnot-whatnot" (he was French, I don't know if this translates to an obvious French idiom?), which I found quite annoying at the time and have now come to miss very much

he also had another quirky pet phrase which I forget now, but I put that down to his Frenchness and then met an English person who said it, so maybe "whatnot-whatnot" is a thing too

staking out a spot near the stage because i'm short and can't see anything when tall dudes are in front of me

do you find that you do this and then 30 seconds into the first song some 7-foot dude stands right in front of you even if there is nobody else in the front half of the venue and he could totally stand p. much anywhere else and not block anyone's view

if this doesn't happen, then a photographer appears right in front of me, and I'm like, ok, it's a photographer, they need a good view of the stage so I can't complain. but they take 3 photos and then spend the rest of the show talking to someone right in front of me in their special photographer good-view spot

I should stop talking to myself but I guess the thing with being short in a crowd is that from a distance you look like a gap in the crowd, so people think "I am going to stand there, that's a good spot with nobody in" or "I'll take a route between the bar and the stage right through that gap I see there" and then they get there and you're in the gap but it's like, well, I'm here now

Flaky cheese

On the gig front, I always seem to stand in the (not so) sweet spot where there is a fuckin river of people walking back and forth to the bar or whatever, NO MATTER WHERE I STAND. I am alwasys pushed/jostled by people getting past, they arent doing it anywhere else nearby, they are always pushing RIGHT BY ME, getting in my way and making me move, FUCK OFF, Im standing here and I am NOT moving.

You'll laugh, but I had to queue with a friend in a line that was all boys bar me, and EVERYONE who needed to cut through chose to do so where I was standing. No men were inconvenienced or jostled, of course.

On the gig front, I always seem to stand in the (not so) sweet spot where there is a fuckin river of people walking back and forth to the bar or whatever,

I used to get this too, I found standing next to or in front of the sound desk helped, something to lean on too.
I decided never to stand in the middle at a gig ever again after someone knocked my pint over me, filling my pocket with my phone in full of beer.

I'm also pretty often at the spot where everyone walks through to get to the bar but that's cos I'm one of those annoying tall people that no-one wants to stand behind, therefore there is always space behind me.

I do like venues where I can stand in front of a sound desk like not_goodwin said, that way not only am I not in anyone's way but it also avoids that problem.

A manager at the last restaurant I worked at would say "segue" as a verbal tic a la "things of that nature." She would use it during meetings to switch topics, as in "Now let's segue into talking about uniforms," and randomly like, "The sorbet tonight is raspberry, and when that runs out, we'll segue into blood orange."

But the really annoying thing was that she mispronounced it as "sedge way."

for a long time I thought it rhymed with league

"segue into blood orange"

oh my lol

It's "Neu!", not "Nue!"
I bet you pronounce it that way too.

know yr availability so i can schedge a time'

...and there's one of mine.

One of my dearest friends was showing me how he had categorized all of his music folders by je-NAIR. Country, punk, rap... each je-NAIR with its own place.

Similar to someone I have known since college who pronounces "compilation" with a long "i."

I was like "I DO NOT PLAY DRUMS ANYMORE" and he's like "But come on, you can't really lose it" and I'm like "YES YOU CAN. I HAVE NO CHOPS. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN OVER A YEAR."

tbf, you really can't lose it. It might take a song or two, but that shit'll come right back.

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Thursday, June 6, 2013 11:34 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think you are missing the part of the story where I make clear that I really do not want to play with him.

- when I call in to check my work voicemail and enter my mailbox number when the robot lady says, "Please enter the mailbox number of the person you are calling" instead of waiting two seconds and pressing # when she then says, "If you have a mailbox on the system, press pound" and then end up leaving myself a voicemail when I meant to check the voicemail that somebody else left. Also the fact that there is even an option to enter the mailbox number of the person you are calling when you call the voicemail number because why wouldn't you just call the person's phone line? Also that you have to press # after you enter your password even though the robot lady doesn't tell you that. And finally, that you have to press "one" twice to get your messages when IMO the default should be that you are getting your messages and not dialing in to the voicemail system to randomly change your password or whatever.

- when people call and leave me voicemails instead of just emailing me.

We've got this cutsey vmail system that goes by "1 for yes, 2 for no" instead of assigning each of the nine digits to a category "press 7 to record your greeting", etc.

That's fine since "Play messages" is the first choice given, but when I do want to re-record my greeting, I have to press 2 to say no to four or five other options first. The fact that someone this was a good idea to make the workday easier on employees says a lot about this machine we call capitalism.

...and there's one of mine.

haha sorry pp she said it the normal person way i just spiced things up to make my story ring irrationally true

I keep trying to click one of the links at the bottom of Facebook and when I scroll down it keeps expanding the timeline & pushing the links further down off the screen. Does anyone know how to get around this???

p sure all the same things are at the bottom of the right-hand sidebar if you click on "more"

do you find that you do this and then 30 seconds into the first song some 7-foot dude stands right in front of you even if there is nobody else in the front half of the venue and he could totally stand p. much anywhere else and not block anyone's view

every. damn. time.

On the gig front, I always seem to stand in the (not so) sweet spot where there is a fuckin river of people walking back and forth to the bar or whatever, NO MATTER WHERE I STAND. I am alwasys pushed/jostled by people getting past, they arent doing it anywhere else nearby, they are always pushing RIGHT BY ME, getting in my way and making me move, FUCK OFF, Im standing here and I am NOT moving.

every. damn. time.

honestly this is pretty rational anger but it's minor so it goes here

I have an irl friend who works front of house for a concert promoter, so sees TONS of bands. She also travels pretty frequently on her own dime to go see bands O/S. She recently got back from seeing Depeche Mode in London. and she has another trip planned in October. but she will still make many FB posts between now and then that say 'Wahhh look at all the bands I'm going to be missing in October!" or 'Omg I can't believe I missed this show last week while I was in London'

it's not even that she sees a lot of bands - that's her life, and I tend to be that way too when I'm flush with $$. But it's the whining about not being able to see EVERYTHING all the time that drives me around the bend

Like it gets insanely OCD and I just wanna scream "knock it the fuck off, firstworldproblems!"

trees on the sidewalk with low branches at the level of my chest and it's raining and i gotta do the fuckin limbo to get past

Cars with no headlights on when it's raining.

'but i can see just fine'

Overheard at work:
A: "Maybe you're pregnant."
B: "Ha, that would be an Immaculate Conception."

Me: Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

Being behind cars with stupid bumper stickers.

i was at whole foods today and a man and a woman were in line behind me (couldn't tell if they were together or dad and daughter, guy was older) and the woman was complaining about waiting. the checkout person had to look up the number for chard for the customer in front of me in line and line waiter loudly said "SHE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NUMBERS," then the woman got into the express line and the guy stayed in my line. but they were still together. so when the express line moved faster, the guy put his stuff on the counter! they were in two lines at the same time! assholes! oh also the store was not crowded and the lines were not long. i can't tolerate the grocery store behavior of others.

disgusting savages

At that point, harbl, I'd have turned around and said, "Doesn't. That woman *doesn't* know the numbers."

She don't even no her own language.

that's the sort of prescriptivism that makes me irrationally angry

yeah i would never, ever do that! i am not bothered by the use of don't instead of doesn't.

now i feel annoyed by myself, because i in no way meant to look down on her for her use of language, or point out her race (and here both white and black ppl use "don't" a lot, but she was black), but i think the bluntness of it was important to the anecdote. it would be SO SHITTY of me to taunt her for using english incorrectly, and i think would rightly be interpreted as racist. it's a perfectly grammatical sentence imo.

signed, wracked with white guilt in whole foods