I think the lolling is mainly at the 13-that-looks-like-he's-6yo guy's facial expressions regarding the whole being a daddy thing. This would have been awkward and kinda funny in any western country, but admittedly the UK outrage here is kinda adding to that a lil'.
I guess I'm used to having messed up shit like this going unreported all the time all around me, I dunno.
― System Jr. (Mackro Mackro), Sunday, 15 February 2009 22:47 (fifteen years ago) link
The papers here haven't finished with it yet. Melanie Philips has written her second column on it, the Mail has moved onto "what are social services going to do about this" and The Sun has Alfie (possibly) taking a DNA test. Meanwhile the eternally righteous British public get their monthly opportunity to poor scorn on the "chavs" and beat themselves up abut "broken Britain" as we have been doing since the 17th century (at least).
― Ned Trifle II, Monday, 16 February 2009 08:45 (fifteen years ago) link
really excellent stanning on behalf of the labour party here, great work, wonderful party.
― ^^ one of enriques sincere posts (special guest stars mark bronson), Saturday, 14 February 2009 14:07 (2 days ago) Permalink
The rate of teenage pregnancies is falling, you fucking Tory cunt
― Vitbe Is Good Bread (Tom D.), Saturday, 14 February 2009 12:30 (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― Vitbe Is Good Bread (Tom D.), Monday, 16 February 2009 11:42 (fifteen years ago) link
really wish you'd stop posting
― admin log special guest star (DG), Monday, 16 February 2009 13:18 (fifteen years ago) link
And still, the lads turn up with the "I've shagged her and so's me mate wanna make a documentary about us?" line.
― Mark G, Tuesday, 17 February 2009 11:01 (fifteen years ago) link
Heartwarming, in a way
― Vitbe Is Good Bread (Tom D.), Tuesday, 17 February 2009 11:02 (fifteen years ago) link
Whoops
― Bernard Braden Misreads Stephen Leacock (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 17 February 2009 11:12 (fifteen years ago) link
... unless it is clearly in the child's interests".
Hmm, wouldn't getting a large sum of money by definition be in "their interest"?
― Mark G, Tuesday, 17 February 2009 11:15 (fifteen years ago) link
Also, If "Teh Sun" reported themselves to the press commission, would that mean they 'couldn't pay' the money out?
^^^So cynical, this is The Sun we're talking about...
― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 17 February 2009 13:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Do Brits really say "full sex" all the time?
― Alex in SF, Wednesday, 18 February 2009 23:49 (fifteen years ago) link
this is what i was wondering!
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 19 February 2009 00:22 (fifteen years ago) link
http://i43.tinypic.com/16945jl.jpg
― Khat Power (Batty), Thursday, 19 February 2009 01:09 (fifteen years ago) link
tinypic. heehee
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 19 February 2009 09:39 (fifteen years ago) link
― Alex in SF, Thursday, February 19, 2009 12:49 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, February 19, 2009 1:22 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
lol! no. or only as a joke, as in 'bridget jones's diary'.
― groovy groovy jazzy funky pounce bounce dance (special guest stars mark bronson), Thursday, 19 February 2009 09:44 (fifteen years ago) link
"woman, shall we have some full sex tonight?"
"no darling, i am suffering from half a headache"
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 19 February 2009 09:47 (fifteen years ago) link
"can we afford full sex?"
"no we'll have to settle for Asda own brand"
― Bernard Braden Misreads Stephen Leacock (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 19 February 2009 09:51 (fifteen years ago) link
not even "taste the difference" ?
― Mark G, Thursday, 19 February 2009 09:58 (fifteen years ago) link
Morrison's "The Best"
― Jarlrmai, Thursday, 19 February 2009 13:23 (fifteen years ago) link
"full sex" is the cousin of "romp" in that it only exists as a newspaper concept.
― Choom Gang Gang Dance (suzy), Thursday, 19 February 2009 14:57 (fifteen years ago) link
Yes, I've never really understood 'romp'. Could be anything? See also "rumpy", "roll in the hay", and, thank you America, "relations".
― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 19 February 2009 16:00 (fifteen years ago) link
'Romp' fits easily in lurid tabloid headline.
― Maximo Park Ji-Sung (Matt DC), Thursday, 19 February 2009 16:02 (fifteen years ago) link
4 letters
― Queueing For Latchstrings (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 February 2009 16:02 (fifteen years ago) link
so this is looking more and more to be a hoax?
― akm, Thursday, 19 February 2009 22:50 (fifteen years ago) link
it is?
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Thursday, 19 February 2009 23:17 (fifteen years ago) link
yeah--turns out there is no country "britain" and the last several centuries have been an extended flashmob designed to shock people out of their dreary everyday existences
― max, Thursday, 19 February 2009 23:18 (fifteen years ago) link
^^^love this guy
― I want sprinkles (country matters), Thursday, 19 February 2009 23:19 (fifteen years ago) link
Alfie is, what, 4' something and looks younger than my nine-year-old nephew. No disrespect to the dude, but I'm not 100% convinced, on appearance alone, that he isn't a total stranger to puberty. In which case: something really fucking odd is going on here.
― Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Thursday, 19 February 2009 23:31 (fifteen years ago) link
something really fucking odd is going on here
^ true in whatever case
― contenderizer, Thursday, 19 February 2009 23:33 (fifteen years ago) link
Seems a hoax; on the "news" last night (on the other fucking side of the world, why would we care here? I guess that's what comes for having the union jack in your flag) a bunch of other lads have also had *ahem* 'full sex' with this lass and reckon it could be any of theirs. The Alfie angle is to net his dad (?) or someone some cash for flogging the story.
― Bored of Canada (S-), Friday, 20 February 2009 00:41 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah thats what I said about 2983742845 posts ago...
― one art, please (Trayce), Friday, 20 February 2009 01:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Trayce OTM (xpost x 2983742845)
― StanM, Friday, 20 February 2009 03:35 (fifteen years ago) link
lol
Cue "you're not the father" gif
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:49 (fifteen years ago) link
News?
― Mark G, Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Britain's not broken after all?
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:54 (fifteen years ago) link
They've done a £300 DNA test and Alfie's not the dad. It's in the Mirror, but I can't copy/paste the link since I'm on my phone
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:58 (fifteen years ago) link
Sweet
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 09:59 (fifteen years ago) link
"Best £300 I ever spent" said Alfie's dad's dad, probably.
― Mark G, Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:03 (fifteen years ago) link
If everyone started conceiving children at age 13, we would all be great-great-great-great-grandparents by our mid-80s.
― 2 ears + 1 ❤ (Pillbox), Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:18 (fifteen years ago) link
ahhhh :(
you have to wonder why they didn't do this on the first day (at least of the news, of whatever, before that tabloid printed it)
― Ludo, Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:20 (fifteen years ago) link
Lucky little bastard! I hope he's learnt his lesson.
I guess he won't have :(
― not_goodwin, Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:31 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/03/26/alfie-truth-proved-by-a-300-baby-test-115875-21228412/
― Event Horizon (Nicole), Thursday, 26 March 2009 10:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Pretty sure Jeremy Kyle would've done this for nowt.
― Townie Mong Shit (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:03 (fifteen years ago) link
Slept with 6 boys ay?
To be honest, she’s doing the right thing getting it now as she ain’t going to get prettier.Plus, she’ll be set up for life with a nice council flat waiting for her when she’s old enough, free money and some maintenance.
― not_goodwin, Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:14 (fifteen years ago) link
Still plenty of scope for Jeremy Kyle to get involved
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:16 (fifteen years ago) link
But who WAS forming babbies with Chantelle then?
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:17 (fifteen years ago) link
I don't know, but I expect we'll now be treated to another round of outrage and soulseraching from the media. Oh joy.
― Say what you like Professor Words (Ned Trifle II), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:27 (fifteen years ago) link
That's what I meant about there still being scope for Jeremy Kyle to get involved
― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:28 (fifteen years ago) link
cartman's father style expose has real potential.
― Anthony, I am not an Alcoholic & Drunk (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:32 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh, I wasn't aware of who Jeremy Kyle is. Sorry. (Xpost)
― StanM, Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:37 (fifteen years ago) link