What's it all about, Alfie the 13-year-old father?

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg

i got play station yall and a baby

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/177665/Richard-Goodsell-Im-the-real-daddy-Alfie-and-I-want-a-DNA-test-to-prove-it.html

I'm not a big fan of posting links without comment, but I really don't quite know what to say.

only Jeremy Kyle can resolve this sordid mess now

“To be honest I didn’t really fancy her. She asked me out a couple of times when she moved down here but I kept turning her down. I thought she was ugly.

SO YOU SLEPT WITH HER Wtf is wrong with people.

britain

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00027/Goodsell_280x450_27330a.jpg

This is Fast Show funnyman Simon Day, surely?

This is all starting to sound like a big elaborate hoax so these fuckwits can make money.

http://www.calypsovoices.com/faces/Simon%20Day%20Lg.jpg
xp

Richard, a trainee chef

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpghttp://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg

Particular fond of Barbie-Jayne's part in all of this, because I've decided that this is too ludicrous to take in any way seriously. I think Trayce is onto something.

Jeez, cover up those things, you're under age and we're not supposed to stare :-/

(xpost)

Terrified Tyler, 14 (is that his age or his number in the gang?)

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00027/Goodsell4_280x450_27335a.jpg

The only difference is the total absence of anything remotely funny

WRONG!

(I've already covered my views on teenage pregnancies etc elsewhere, so I'm just going to point at these people and laugh because they are living their lives through the tabloids in order that we can do that very thing)

SO YOU SLEPT WITH HER Wtf is wrong with people.

in conjunction with the post previous I can't help but read this in a Jeremy Kyle voice.

"Quite often what fails to recognise is that in some of the more difficult communities, this has become pretty much the norm.", says man of the people Iain Duncan Smith. As a resident of a recent Teenage Pregnancy Capital of Europe™ and former resident of a strong competitor for that title, I've heard of one case of a 14-year-old mother and, other than that, a small smattering of 15-year-olds (and a million 16-year-olds, of course). News story in not quite being matter of dog bites man shockrrrrr.

http://i43.tinypic.com/imhr2w.jpg

xpost - I don't know, when I was 14 there were a few girls in my year that had babies, it's not exactly rare (this was back when the Tories were in charge so sod you Ian Duncan Smith).

A friend of mine's 13 year old daughter is pregnant at the minute and it's pretty heartbreaking. Like the lad in these photos she looks more like she's 10 than 13 and she's having to spend the last three months in hospital because it's taking such a physical toll on her. I know it's still bad that a lad as young-looking a Alfie is a dad but the first thing I thought when I saw the photo was how much worse it would be if it was the mother that looked like that rather than the dad.

600 gbp a week? i should have had baby earlier. and in britainia.

is it possible to tell someone "you'd make an AWESOME welfare queen" without it being a slight?

well my career aspirations total me having enough money to not work so i call that encouragement to pursue my dreams

what happens when i'm blindsighted by an article midway through reading it

Richard, a tranny chef

necessary information

"full sex"

what's sad is that there are tens of thousands of people right now wishing they could get a foot in the door as a trainee chef.

Trayce otm

and if not, ailsa otm

16yr old cuts a break by apparently not siring child of underage girl he's been sleeping with, demands dna test to prove he is SOLELY so he can get in the tabloids.

W
T
F????

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00027/Goodsell2_516x300_27332a.jpg

So much for the 'false perspective' theory. I think I find this bit the most astonishing though:

Richard’s mother Barbie-Jayne, 35, backs his story ... Last night she proudly boasted of twice appearing on TV’s Trisha show as a guest on programmes about having an overbearing personality and overactive sex life

Trisha's guests are real??

Hmm. Barbie-Jayne. There can't be too many of those around, is this her?

kinda strange that the Sun (or more likely the government) would not require a DNA test before registering a child of a 12 and 15 year old as theirs..

http://profile.ak.facebook.com/v229/1560/45/n1351260848_5070.jpg
Pint glass, dragon shirt, chest tattoo, wedding dress, reception possibly in school gym - I'm guessing it might be xp

She's also a fan of Vin Deisel (even wrong spellings get facebook pages) :

Sonia wrote at 6:27pm yesterday
He is the beutiful men that i see in the world

http://idledown.adsl24.co.uk/random-pics/ky.jpg

haha

btw that hoodie...

Dudes Flying High is on TV right this second, and the scene with the little girl and the coffee isn't so funny anymore.

Am I the only person who looks at the above photo and thinks the girl looks scarily like Vic Reeves?

it's the boobs

Still can't believe this is real.

why do they need KY?

4 sexing

so that's her + the 3 dads = 4 sexing?

lol at Americans coming to this thread to lol at Brits. The only British thing about this is the pathetic soul searching we're all supposed to do when some idiot "falls" pregnant.

O_o

Well, that and the fact that it happened in Britain! Dudes stop
biting the sucky parts of American culture

Yeah, if there were US teenagers who scarily closely resemble characters from Lost who happen to get pregnant, I'd laugh at them too!

as the parent of a 13 year old, I probably shouldn't have read this :-/

Ned, was that totally uncalled for attack at Americans a pathetic trolling attempt or did you really think it was neccesary?

Stay tuned to find out...

The only British thing about this

... is the fact that the biggest slag in school looks like Vic Reeves.