What's it all about, Alfie the 13-year-old father?

Britain's youngest mother

That picture of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is my new favourite thing on the internet.

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith described the astonishing case as a 'tragic example' of the nation's social decline.

Because this kind of thing has never happened before obviously.

On the same Daily Mail page a link to this article, the tone of which I'm sure you can guess...

GPs to get bonuses for giving teenagers contraceptive implants and jabs without informing parents

How come Alfie lives on an estate with his mother (implication = single mum, council estate, I guess?) in The Sun, but lives in a quarter-of-a-million quid Essex-girl mansion in the Mail? It wouldn't be for extra shame of him not even being one of those schemie brats in the Mail, would it? It could happen to YOU!

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith described the astonishing case as a 'tragic example' of the nation's social decline.

The rate of teenage pregnancies is falling, you fucking Tory cunt

Yeah, but it happened while Gordon Brown is in charge, so it's still his fault.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/02/13/article-1144244-0382E234000005DC-314_468x492.jpg

dailymail really reaching here

N/A because inconvieniently lower than under the Tories, by any chance?

Hang on when did the rise start? Round about 1979?

Near enough for the Mail to that blame that on the 60s

Or the unions

foreigners!

No, everything that was bad in Britain then was the fault of the unions, NOW everything is the fault of foreigners

The Winter of Discontent = middle England's equivalent of the Holocaust

Higher in the 50s and 60s I think?

Also figures difficult to compare.

But maybe not in the 1850s, where Iain Duncan Smith and David Cameron are looking to for so many of their ideas (xp)

So falling per capita then, Daily Mail?

Mail only taking into account pure Aryans in their figures

1850s you say? When the age of consent was 12 (and not raised to 16 until 1885)?

(in the UK that is)

Daily Mail viewers really helping the situation...

Should police investigate baby born to 15-year-old girl and 13-year-old boy?

* Yes 82%
* No 18%

Like how, check its blood for drugs?

hahaha

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant

Chantelle: "Let's write in red crayon why we shouldn't have the babby. In green why we should."
Alfie: "Why green? Can't we pick blue?"
Chantelle:"No, you stuck that up my bum the other day."
Alfie:"Ah shit, yeah."
Chantelle:"So let's DO IT!"
Alfie:"What? Finger it out?"
Chantelle:"No have a BABY!"
Alfie:"Okay, whatever you like hunny pumpkin"

really excellent stanning on behalf of the labour party here, great work, wonderful party.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/io9/2008/12/babosa-brain-slug-cerebro-futurama.jpg

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f122/robhatchmiller/SNN1305AA-380_732314a.jpg

Stand back: Here it comes --- The next flood of "reality" shows....

13 and a Father

12 and a Mother

Dad at 10

Mom at 8

Pure at Six: The New Young Love

And lest we forget:

Mom at 7; Now 24 Kids and Counting.

http://i40.tinypic.com/bi2b90.jpg

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg

i got play station yall and a baby

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/177665/Richard-Goodsell-Im-the-real-daddy-Alfie-and-I-want-a-DNA-test-to-prove-it.html

I'm not a big fan of posting links without comment, but I really don't quite know what to say.

only Jeremy Kyle can resolve this sordid mess now

“To be honest I didn’t really fancy her. She asked me out a couple of times when she moved down here but I kept turning her down. I thought she was ugly.

SO YOU SLEPT WITH HER Wtf is wrong with people.

britain

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00027/Goodsell_280x450_27330a.jpg

This is Fast Show funnyman Simon Day, surely?

This is all starting to sound like a big elaborate hoax so these fuckwits can make money.

http://www.calypsovoices.com/faces/Simon%20Day%20Lg.jpg
xp

Richard, a trainee chef

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpghttp://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/63718/thumbs/s-ALFIE-PATTEN-large.jpg

Particular fond of Barbie-Jayne's part in all of this, because I've decided that this is too ludicrous to take in any way seriously. I think Trayce is onto something.

Jeez, cover up those things, you're under age and we're not supposed to stare :-/

(xpost)

Terrified Tyler, 14 (is that his age or his number in the gang?)

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00027/Goodsell4_280x450_27335a.jpg

The only difference is the total absence of anything remotely funny

WRONG!

(I've already covered my views on teenage pregnancies etc elsewhere, so I'm just going to point at these people and laugh because they are living their lives through the tabloids in order that we can do that very thing)

SO YOU SLEPT WITH HER Wtf is wrong with people.

in conjunction with the post previous I can't help but read this in a Jeremy Kyle voice.

"Quite often what fails to recognise is that in some of the more difficult communities, this has become pretty much the norm.", says man of the people Iain Duncan Smith. As a resident of a recent Teenage Pregnancy Capital of Europe™ and former resident of a strong competitor for that title, I've heard of one case of a 14-year-old mother and, other than that, a small smattering of 15-year-olds (and a million 16-year-olds, of course). News story in not quite being matter of dog bites man shockrrrrr.

http://i43.tinypic.com/imhr2w.jpg

xpost - I don't know, when I was 14 there were a few girls in my year that had babies, it's not exactly rare (this was back when the Tories were in charge so sod you Ian Duncan Smith).

A friend of mine's 13 year old daughter is pregnant at the minute and it's pretty heartbreaking. Like the lad in these photos she looks more like she's 10 than 13 and she's having to spend the last three months in hospital because it's taking such a physical toll on her. I know it's still bad that a lad as young-looking a Alfie is a dad but the first thing I thought when I saw the photo was how much worse it would be if it was the mother that looked like that rather than the dad.

600 gbp a week? i should have had baby earlier. and in britainia.

is it possible to tell someone "you'd make an AWESOME welfare queen" without it being a slight?