What's it all about, Alfie the 13-year-old father?

Doesn't "Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun" mean it's probably just a stunt and not actually true?

I can think of less believable stories in The Sun recently.

I wonder if she breastfeeds and if she does, if the little feller gets jealous. "I WANT!" and has a crazy fit

It's actually her dad's. Alfie's gay.

"I've got me daughter up the duff; can I borrow your son?"

I keep looking at that picture and wondering... Actually are there condoms in his size?

No. Hence, the babby.

She can probably deepthroat everything and he can get his arm up to

You know what, nevermind.

Loot at the size of the onesie, it's probably his. Oops, put it on the wrong kid.

OK, the more I look at that picture it looks like there HAS to be some weird forced perspective thing going on, like she's 5 ft. closer to the camera. It's just completely unreal. Like, OK, she's a 15 year old girl, and he's a doll, and then the baby is an even smaller doll. I definitely need to start drinking soon.

That isn't actually her ear, it's a pink teddy bear behind her.

Too bad it isn't a jaunty hat; that would have been nice.

Stick a wooly hat on the kid = some kid who would be bullied by Eric Cartmann.

jesus christ even when i was 11 i knew to fingerblast skeezy older chicks instead of banging

I think that requires a photoshop thread.

xxp

the kid being the kid who got the kid pregnant, and not the kid they had.

Actually omar's would make a good photoshop thread as well.

pretty sure Eric Cartman would bully all 3 of them

Can one actually sit like this four days after giving birth?

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00732/SNN1305AA-380_732314a.jpg

MyView
By JANE MOORE
Sun Columnist

Jane, Jane, hold on there. What makes you think anyone cares?

Can one actually sit like this four days after giving birth?

From what I know, it's not like the baby is shooting out of a paper-maiche cannon!

All I can see is Ben Linus now...he's done some sort of jiggery pokery and turned Jack into a 7 year-old and Kate into a baby.

We really need Z_S here to be animating that photo.

xp serious lol

All I can see is Ben Linus now...he's done some sort of jiggery pokery and turned Jack into a 7 year-old and Kate into a baby.

This is totally how the show is going to end.

http://blog.columbusalive.com/Sensory/ben_linus.jpg

What's it all about Alfie?

LOL

jesus christ even when i was 11 i knew to fingerblast skeezy older chicks instead of banging

― memo from norv turner (omar little), Friday, February 13, 2009 7:44 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I think that requires a photoshop thread.

xxp

― Pancakes Hackman, Friday, February 13, 2009 7:44 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pls to stan & stevie STOPSTOPSTOP speculatin on actual intercourse mechanics kthx love

gah

If only they'd thought of oralfie and analf- oh, okay. Sorry.

She can probably deepthroat everything and he can get his arm up to

You know what, nevermind.

― StanM, Friday, 13 February 2009 19:37 (27 minutes ago) Bookmark

Everything?

Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers

oh dude no no no no no no NO no

i think the theory that Alfie's dad is well the father of this baby as well, could well be true. He's just blaming poor Alfie for it :(

Can someone Jugg4lo-facepaint-photoshop that picture? (loads of arm for a tattoo as well)

OK, the more I look at that picture it looks like there HAS to be some weird forced perspective thing going on, like she's 5 ft. closer to the camera. It's just completely unreal. Like, OK, she's a 15 year old girl, and he's a doll, and then the baby is an even smaller doll. I definitely need to start drinking soon.

i thoroughly endorse this post.

http://www.stpetersburger.com/oview_img/matryoshkas-dolls.jpg

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05_02/cruiseDM0505_468x819.jpg

katie holmes is pretty

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk.

http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s236/mezxspectrum/stabledoorhorsebolt.jpg

Nice tap shorts and tights, Katie.

How soon we forget Mary Kay Latourneau!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau

He was 13. She was 34.

Letourneau first met Vili Fualaau (born June 26, 1983) when he was a student in her second grade class at Shorewood Elementary School in Burien, Washington.[2] Judging by their respective dates of birth, he was then eight years old; she was 29.

I'm all about OUTRAGE AT HALAL DOMINOS as PIZZA brings forth an ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF BRITAIN or something: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/mysun/article2230937.ece

this is all just so :-O

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00732/SNN1304B-380_732153a.jpg

Doogie Howser MD aids his bro in his girlies birth.

http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/games/ps2/action/jak_and_daxter7.jpg

Job well done, Doogs.

Man, cruises heels are pretty big too.
She looks like a giant, i can't stop looking at this to see if it's fake.

Stan, tbh, I'm almost sure she had a caesarian. At their age, don't they usually get one? Also I was up'n'running after 24 hours (after a natural delivery).

people formed babby at this age for most of human history

Uh, dude, yeah, but hence the high mortality rate (for mums and babies during and after delivery). Thing is that at 15 years old, you are too young. The body isn't fully equipped yet. Yes, I know, she got pregnant, but it's not advisable. Best age is in your early to midtwenties. (Fucked up there too but at least I was *too old* namely 35).

This thread is srsly ha ha funny rofflicious but the reality is quite depressing. The father is incapable of taking care of this kid (financially, emotionally,...) and the mum? She'll probably be dumped by babyfaced daddy before the kid's outgrown his diapers (the baby, not the dad). I fucking hope their parents will take care of the baby and urge them to attend high school. But I doubt it. I wonder how I would react as a parent if my kid came home with a boy and pronounced they would become parents. I'd probably borrow a baby and let'em take care of it. Or stick'em in a daycare centre for a week and let them witness that babies are not all fluffy and cute all the time. Or I'd urge'em to consider an abortion. I wonder if you can legally force your kid to have an abortion at this age? Hmmm. Not that it's something I would do. But I wonder.

Teenage sister of boy who became a father at 13 had baby when she was the same age

Britain's youngest mother

That picture of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is my new favourite thing on the internet.

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith described the astonishing case as a 'tragic example' of the nation's social decline.

Because this kind of thing has never happened before obviously.

On the same Daily Mail page a link to this article, the tone of which I'm sure you can guess...

GPs to get bonuses for giving teenagers contraceptive implants and jabs without informing parents

How come Alfie lives on an estate with his mother (implication = single mum, council estate, I guess?) in The Sun, but lives in a quarter-of-a-million quid Essex-girl mansion in the Mail? It wouldn't be for extra shame of him not even being one of those schemie brats in the Mail, would it? It could happen to YOU!