village voice cover story: "white girls with big asses, man"

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just cos a butt is big doesnt mean its loved by bigg butt lovers. theres a diff between say, sana lathaans (wrong spelling probably) quite wonderful ass cos its in proportion and a sloppy bulging ass that isnt in proportion but is still simply 'big'.

i liked this article.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (nineteen years ago) link

no, it's not anti-ass. it's just dumb.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost my last post works well as response to either m. OR Ned.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Haha

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:51 (nineteen years ago) link

a lot of it is down to the writing style, this sort of detached-yet-sassy-i'm-down-with-it vibe that's made especially irritating coming from someone called sloane crosley.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

"sloppy bulging ass" - wow. Time to go work out.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Is that the author's ass, pictured? (If so, I think she is a terrific and talented writer.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:53 (nineteen years ago) link

"sloane crosley"

it sounds like she should be the editor of a literary magazine ca. 1925

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Free urban weeklies: For when you REALLY MISS your college newspaper.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Just one of the hilarious results when "Sloane Crosley" is googled.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

(fourth entry down)

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

HAHA

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:59 (nineteen years ago) link

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm inspired to record a song where I sing "White gurls got dat ass/All day I crave dat white gurl ass" in a deadpan vocal over slow, Fun Lovin' Criminals riffs, a gothic sounding organ and Cheiron beats. I'd be number one in Croatia.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

I am mad at you for trying to make the badonkadonk twee, stence.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

summer camp memories rock hard

― amateur!!!st, Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

dude, Perry, c'mon man.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

okay does this make it better?

R. KELLY WAS RIGHT/FRAMED!!!!!!!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Results 1 - 10 of about 39 for Sloane Crosley R. Kelly

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:02 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.donkeysanctuary.ca/Images/CHICLETlarge.jpg

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm going to change my entry to the "horniest ILXor" thread to NABISCO. Heavens man, keep it in your trousers!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually this is the only relevant result when you google "Sloane Crosley R. Kelly" (scroll down past the article for hijinx).

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:05 (nineteen years ago) link

i don't see why anyone's getting mad at a mildly amusing fluff piece.

Well, I personally am getting really, really mad because the piece basically reads like what my "I Have A Big Ass" thread read like, except if I had gotten drunk before I wrote it. What the fucking hell. If I had known two years ago that the Voice wanted bullshit like this, I would have a whole shitton more money now than I actually do, instead of emoing out about my writer's block.

Seriously, how much do people think she got paid for this? Chuck Eddy around anywhere? He's got ins to find out. What the fucking hell.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh except when I talk about anyone's ass I don't act like KABOOM asses appeared out of nowhere, like the resurrection of Jesus or something.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:19 (nineteen years ago) link

M: It was a question! An innocent question!

A: What is a shitton? (It sounds like a tampon for yr butt.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:20 (nineteen years ago) link

3: I wish asses appeared out of nowhere like that.

(4: Horny that, Markelby.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

this girl is a publicist, maybe someone at the Voice owes her a favor.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Big asses be breakin' out like chicken pox.

― na (Nick A.), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link

also I am horny as can be but cannot get horny for anybody named Sloane, sorry.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha there should be a hyphen between shit and ton in that sentence, whoops. No wonder I don't have a job writing absolute bullshit about my own ass for the Village Voice. :(

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't wait until all these Johnny Come-Latelys who've jumped on the ass bandwagon go back to ogling Kate Moss and leave the badankadonks to the true booty connoisseurs.

xpost not even Mia Sara in Ferris Bueller??

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:23 (nineteen years ago) link

only when I think of her by her real name. Also, I don't think her butt was all that (though she was hella cute, yeah).

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:24 (nineteen years ago) link

OTM oops. im tired of people acting like they were always into asses when they were breastists until 2003.

can we have an i love asses board on ilx?

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

ALLISON MUNN

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't decide if I meant to do that or not.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:25 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm gonna convert to breastism just to stay avant-garde.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

what kind of half-man doesn't like breasts AND ass AND legs? good lord.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

true, Mia is 1000x hotter than Sloane.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

It's about priorities, Gear.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

who is an ass man here

also I had an ex-girlfriend once (WITH NO ASS WHAT WAS I THINKING?) who had a male boss named Sloane so you see I AM TRAUMATIZED by that name.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

i like both, but i tend to zoom in on ass first.

im going to covert to left-butt-cheek-ism, just to throw this new craze for previously uncreated body parts a curve.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Somewhere a weirdo internet lurker with one luscious left cheek and one scrawny hair-covered right one is rejoincing.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:29 (nineteen years ago) link

I feel ill.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

my god, thanks nabisco, I am going to have nightmares tonight.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

for sickness or health, Mandee, think about it!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

im think im going to be a right-cheekist now. i cant have it where people are only taking care of one cheek and are already aware that there are people singling cheeks out.

― splooge (thesplooge), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

rejoincing

Nabisco the Neologist.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:31 (nineteen years ago) link

You misspelled "pervert", Ned.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Why can't people be into elegant fingers or collar bones or foreheads or something Victorian like that?

I have nice ankles.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:32 (nineteen years ago) link

If it helps, Mandee, I have a thing for nice chins. Also really striking noses, but that's not uncommon, I don't think. Chins, chins are important.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 279 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

shamed out of human trafficking

― lag∞n, Sunday, 18 March 2012 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

yeah that seems like an amazingly ineffectual campaign -- i'd imagine folks who would pay to have sex with young teenagers have other issues besides fragile masculinity.

― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Monday, 19 March 2012 01:17 (twelve years ago) link

Any campaign fronted by Ashton Kutcher's probably going to be fairly ineffectual outside the frat-bro market and fragile masculinity might, at least, have some play there.

― Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Monday, 19 March 2012 08:45 (twelve years ago) link

five years pass...

"village voice front-and-center web site story: 'white girls with big asses, man'"
― amateur!!!st, Monday, August 16, 2004 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's more of a backstory, really.
― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, August 16, 2004 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Neanderthal, Monday, 27 March 2017 01:42 (seven years ago) link

Lol ILX when it was mostly people in their twenties. Wow @ us

― Not the real Tombot (El Tomboto), Monday, 27 March 2017 02:34 (seven years ago) link

ps. some white girls have always had big asses.
― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, August 16, 2004 11:36 AM (twelve years ago)

― sarahell, Monday, 27 March 2017 04:24 (seven years ago) link

The Dallas alt-weekly's page count seems to have dropped by almost half since they stopped advertising escorts.

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 27 March 2017 05:32 (seven years ago) link

five months pass...

"emobutt"!!!!
Kill me now.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, August 16, 2004 5:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Because I misread that as "elmobutt".
― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, August 16, 2004 5:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 05:50 (six years ago) link

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