people that YELP are scumbags

hard to figure out, I know

I walked in and was delighted to find BOOKS

Elite '13
3491 friends
1246 reviews
6/8/2010 Candice "Orange Crush" G. says:
Whoa, Momma! I can barely contain myself!

Yelp Chicagoland's first ever open party has been posted and it's gonna be hot, Hot, HOT!

The event will take place in Naperville (repping my hometown... and no, you cannot stay over) at one of my all time faves, Meson Sabika. This event will be made exponentially HOTTER by the fact that IT'S A WHITE PARTY! So dust off those Summer whites and maybe invest in a nice sized bottle of Scotch Guard 'cause this party's gonna be Sssmokin'!

Per usual, there'll be light bites (tapas style) courtesy of Meson Sabika and libations from the likes of Rain Organics Vodka and Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka. And we mustn't forget my personal photog faves, ShutterBox, ActionBooth, and a portrait photographer to capture yelpers in all their White Hot glory.

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Elites should RSVP through their nifty little badge (don't forget to change your location to 'Chicago Burbs'). Helpful link here: http://www.yelp.com/elit…

And non-Elite yelpers should RSVP through the events page listing or the link below: http://www.yelp.com/even…

I was morbidly curious

IT'S A WHITE PARTY

Naperville, ffs.

I was overwhelmed with happiness at being in the middle of this nirvana, I didn't think I could steady a cup of tea as well.

these people are all emotional wrecks, aren't they?

Yelpers basically make me never want to own a business

PEOPLE: THIS IS WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR

but Yelp has a built-in audience

many of whom are laughing themselves silly at you

Site could really use a filter where anyone whose reviews of pizza places go longer than 250 words do not show up, and do not count towards the overall ratings of anything.

I live in Silver Lake and hate Intelligentsia so I was happy to see this new coffee shop opening up on Sunset. The Pacific Northwest seems to have their coffee game pretty locked down so I had high hopes for this Seattle chain.

I went on a Saturday morning and unsurprisingly, it was pretty packed. I had to wait in line about 10 minutes before placing my order but that is understandable, considering it's brand new and all the creeps in Silver Lake love fancy overpriced coffee (myself included)

I got a double Americano which was fine. I'm not really a coffee snob but it tasted like double Americano's I'd get anywhere. However it was 75 cents more expensive than my usual (albeit rage-filled) cup I get at Intelligentsia.

Also worth noting - when I was there (Saturday at like 10am) the place was SWARMED with little kids. Like, little little. At first I thought it was just one family but there were several it seemed. Like, kids who just learned how to walk little. Trying to juggle two hot Americanos with them running into me, crying for no reason, falling out of their chairs onto their heads, was kind of a lot to take in pre-caffeine. Is there a daycare next door or something? All of this makes me sound like a spinster curmudgeon who will die alone next to a stuffed cat but seriously can children under the age of 4 be banned from coffee shops?!

I think it says a lot for the treasures contained in this thread that that comes across as one of the saner, more measured Yelp reviews

x-p
Wait, if you hate Intelligensia why is it your "usual?"

It was probably a mommy-and-me meetup group.

The Pacific Northwest seems to have their coffee game pretty locked down so I had high hopes for this Seattle chain.

famous last words circa late '80s

It took me a few minutes of googling to realize that The Pacific Northwest is not actually the name of the coffee chain.

i feel bad that that guy wasn't allowed to give negative 2 stars to that dry cleaners, fortunately that is also the number of people who visit yelp to find reviews of dry cleaners

i used yelp to find a good dry cleaner last summer

how was the ambiance

well it turns out dry cleaning is not really that good at getting rid of sweat stains. then i turned to oxyclean

I found that review looking on Yelp for dry cleaner near me that would clean a king-sized down comforter and also hem a couple of dresses.

I'm taking the dresses to the place that yutz hates, and the comforter to different place closer to my house, in case you were wondering.

carlagathadrycleaner.ilx

I'd sooner take internet recommendations for and against dry cleaners than restaurants tbh

I mean I read all the restaurant reviews which appear on the local reviews site (less scumbaggy than yelp but still def some verbose entitlement issues, but ho ho enough about my ilx posts) but the bad ones have never seriously put me off going anywhere, whereas I've definitely avoided the dry cleaners that had really bad reviews

"this place took several days and ruined my suit" less amusing than "zomg, so many books, in a bookshop! who would have thought" or 1000 words on the presumed morals of waitstaff/clientele masquerading as a review of some coffee which you can only describe as "fine", though

my tailor/dry cleaner has 4.5 yelp stars (did not find them through yelp)

a pressed garment is p universal

Blue Agave

categories: Dance Clubs, Bars

This is exactly what you would find a few miles south and without the super cheap liquor. Also, the cholos are fakes, the women are hideous, and there are actually fewer white folks around Blue Agave than there are in TJ.

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when looking for super grudge-filled entitled Yelp reviews a really good search phrase is "how dare they"

"aghast" is good too

when looking for really corny, fawning ones try "faint"

"amazeballs"

Barf.

"Rolled her eyes" is always a good one when seeking out unreliable narrator reviews

Naperville, ffs.

i've had brunch at that place, it's pretty cool

I drove down to San Jose today for a meeting at Cisco. Skipped lunch 'cos I was late, obviously, but arrived on Zanker half an hour early - ah great, I'll grab a bite - I'm so starving. I drove for 15 minutes down Zanker, down E. Tasman, down Cisco Way, down a bunch of other roads and no Starbucks, no stripmall of any kind. How can that be? I know they're there, somewhere, but they should be more obvious to a newbie without a map, like everywhere else in America. Has the Sierra Club taken over Silicon Valley? How can I express my disapproval?

hahahahhaha

okay, that is onion-level

what exactly was this person reviewing?

http://www.yelp.com/topic/san-francisco-can-i-give-a-non-place-zero-stars-for-not-being-there

(Category: Humor & Offbeat)

had the worst brunch experience of my life today, was real tempted to give in and join the scumbags for an hour or two

keep the faith

http://www.yelp.com/biz/lew-sterrett-justice-center-dallas

that is unbelievable

amazing find

You aren't supposed to like it you idiots!

new board descrip amirite

more sad than funny imo

"this detainment facility is terrible, I'm going to give it a bad Yelp review" I mean, waht

I feel like the lawyer at least is coming from an understandable context

tbf, the inmate who suggests grabbing the nearest roll of toilet paper and stuffing yourself with bologna sandwiches ASAP also seems to have a pretty reasonable take on the situation.