people that YELP are scumbags

where has this thread been all my life, so many cringelols

we should change the title of the thread to 'people that yelp are failed novellists'

The bar though had eleven seats in a tight squeeze that looks like it would be very cozy holding nine. There was one seat clearly holding a patron's purse, and another where it looked like someone had recently departed. I hopefully moved toward the bar, but found it incredibly difficult to navigate the small channels between the tables/bar/stools (I'm really not a big person!), and saw I was getting no help or attention from any of the patrons, the bartender, or the (hostess? manager?) who had originally spoken to me.

This really might be a new low in the total blundering disorientation of a shut-in, ill-advisedly articulated in words and gifted to the internet. There were empty stools, so naturally I turned and fled in abject terror.

I imagine this person flailing their arms about spastically and running out of the establishment crying like a 2 year old who dropped his icecream cone

i used to live with this dude. he is insufferable

As a touring musician that doesn't eat fast food, Yelp has seriously improved my life for the better. It's important to cross reference Yelp tips with local suggestions and personal intuition. Otherwise, results may vary.

she could have apologized that I didn't see a place I liked; maybe asked me kindly to return some other time; she COULD have helped me to access one of the two clearly open seats; hell, she could have at the very least *SMILED* when she dismissed me out the door!

haha who is this overgrown bastard toddler

I can only assume that when this person complains about getting no help from someone, that means that he/she walked two feet away from the hostess stand and craned his/her neck to stare at the two seats at the bar while pouting

also, I haven't been out in Nashville a ton, but I've been out several times over the past few years, usually around busy holiday times, and we've never had problems securing seats for parties of up to 6 at any place we went

ime when you work as a host / hostess, you get pretty good at identifying which patrons are going to be fussy & impossible to please as soon as they enter; and you learn not to waste your time on them.

not to say that you can ignore them or abuse them, but you learn to not expend unnecessary efforts on them because if someone's committed to being unsatisfied there's really nothing you can do to change that. it's not the duty of the host to intervene on behalf of your social anxiety because you can't stand to ask a lady to move her purse, and it's really not her responsibility to smile as you take your business elsewhere. my $0.02.

she COULD have helped me to access one of the two clearly open seats

perhaps she was confused as to why you didnt fuckin' sit in one or ask a patron if the seat was taken, etc, you fucking moron

she COULD have wiped my ass for me, but she DIDN'T, and NOW my ass is CHAPPED waaaaah

hahahahahaha I had typed and deleted a variation on that comment because I couldn't make it work, kudos

Great place to work if....

1.) you get a seat (which is like winning the lottery)
2.) you're not hungry (they only do croissants)

I went last week to work on a budget proposal for work. Like a BOSS, I got a window seat, and was hesitant to leave the spot in case I woke up from the dream I was surely having. Bad news is I spent 7 hours there trying to finish up my work.... but felt like fainting by the end of it, after only having 2 cups of a coffee and a croissant all day.

If they did little artisan sandwiches and plopped in an extra table, I'd totally be there everyday

the "bad news" is that you felt faint after having only had two cups of coffee and a croissant at a 12-seat coffee shop while you took up a seat for 7 hours. FUCK YOU.

little artisan sandwiches

*plop*

if only the coffee shop would simply acquire new equipment and distributors and business model and make sandwiches

worth it to save all the faint dudes in the window seats, rip

lol, complaining about there being no available seats while occupying one for 7 hours

one my favorite things about yelp reviews are the complaints when a coffee shop doesn't have outlets, and the rise in vitriol if a coffee shop that once had them gets rid of them.

i used to work in a coffee stand in a chocolate shop and we had several email complaints that the chocolate shop was not a cafe. I think they put some stools in just to shut people up.

No. no. no.

I should be able to rate them with negative stars. Why? They managed to ruin my Yelp event before I was even able to attend. That's right, I took some clothes here for the White Hot Nights event in Naperville and wow... what a terrible job. I want to say they didn't do anything at all, but I can't...because the clothes are actually more wrinkled then when I took them in (so, nothing would have been an improvement over what ever took place). It seems I basically paid them $7.50 to ball them up and place them on one of their hangers. Sweet.

Now I don't even have enough time to go somewhere else and have them do a proper job. So, what has two thumbs and will look like he slept in his clothes the night before? THIS GUY!

Don't worry, Ultimate Dry Cleaners, I saved two other fingers just for you.

F*ck this place.

I feel mean for posting this because it is v sweet, but oh how I lol'd in so many parts of this. I couldn't help it. I am a cynical meanie at heart.

My friend, Sara, brought me to this little piece of Heaven on Earth last week. For me, books are the companions that envelope me in warm embrace, whether I have 10 minutes or hours to give to them; I feel safe within the pages of stories.

To have been given the gift of this shop, it was something akin to Beast giving Belle his library. The first person I met was Izzie, the owner's daughter, a wonderfully cheerful girl who welcomed me to the store. The owner, Debbie, pointed me toward the Biography section and asked if I wanted some tea. I declined for the moment because I was waiting on a friend and I was overwhelmed with happiness at being in the middle of this nirvana, I didn't think I could steady a cup of tea as well.

When Sara arrived we accepted a cup of freshly brewed cinnamon tea and a cookie, all served on the most delicate and beautiful tea and saucer sets imaginable. We could have stayed in this shop all day long. Debbie took us on a tour of the Book Cellar, making sure we stopped and had a chance to be delighted by the fantastical door that played music upon the turning and winding of the handle; this door was straight out of A Secret Garden.

Debbie was a kindred spirit and encouraged us to enjoy the tomes. I found it particularly difficult to go into the section that had beautifully bound, old, books because it seemed so sacred, but Sara was brave and was rewarded by finding the most delectable set of Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass, tied in delicate, gold ribbon. We imagined the lives these books must have had before finding themselves residing on the shelves of The Book Cellar and it was delicious for the imagination we share.

We were also offered the opportunity to invite some of our friends to the store with us where Debbie would serve us tea and finger sandwiches (at no extra charge) and I am quite honestly considering having my birthday gathering here just because it makes me so DARN HAPPY to be in this space. :) Thank you Book Cellar!

so....it's a book store?

hard to figure out, I know

I walked in and was delighted to find BOOKS

Elite '13
3491 friends
1246 reviews
6/8/2010 Candice "Orange Crush" G. says:
Whoa, Momma! I can barely contain myself!

Yelp Chicagoland's first ever open party has been posted and it's gonna be hot, Hot, HOT!

The event will take place in Naperville (repping my hometown... and no, you cannot stay over) at one of my all time faves, Meson Sabika. This event will be made exponentially HOTTER by the fact that IT'S A WHITE PARTY! So dust off those Summer whites and maybe invest in a nice sized bottle of Scotch Guard 'cause this party's gonna be Sssmokin'!

Per usual, there'll be light bites (tapas style) courtesy of Meson Sabika and libations from the likes of Rain Organics Vodka and Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka. And we mustn't forget my personal photog faves, ShutterBox, ActionBooth, and a portrait photographer to capture yelpers in all their White Hot glory.

******************************­******************************­******************************­******************
Elites should RSVP through their nifty little badge (don't forget to change your location to 'Chicago Burbs'). Helpful link here: http://www.yelp.com/elit…

And non-Elite yelpers should RSVP through the events page listing or the link below: http://www.yelp.com/even…

I was morbidly curious

IT'S A WHITE PARTY

Naperville, ffs.

I was overwhelmed with happiness at being in the middle of this nirvana, I didn't think I could steady a cup of tea as well.

these people are all emotional wrecks, aren't they?

Yelpers basically make me never want to own a business

PEOPLE: THIS IS WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR

but Yelp has a built-in audience

many of whom are laughing themselves silly at you

Site could really use a filter where anyone whose reviews of pizza places go longer than 250 words do not show up, and do not count towards the overall ratings of anything.

I live in Silver Lake and hate Intelligentsia so I was happy to see this new coffee shop opening up on Sunset. The Pacific Northwest seems to have their coffee game pretty locked down so I had high hopes for this Seattle chain.

I went on a Saturday morning and unsurprisingly, it was pretty packed. I had to wait in line about 10 minutes before placing my order but that is understandable, considering it's brand new and all the creeps in Silver Lake love fancy overpriced coffee (myself included)

I got a double Americano which was fine. I'm not really a coffee snob but it tasted like double Americano's I'd get anywhere. However it was 75 cents more expensive than my usual (albeit rage-filled) cup I get at Intelligentsia.

Also worth noting - when I was there (Saturday at like 10am) the place was SWARMED with little kids. Like, little little. At first I thought it was just one family but there were several it seemed. Like, kids who just learned how to walk little. Trying to juggle two hot Americanos with them running into me, crying for no reason, falling out of their chairs onto their heads, was kind of a lot to take in pre-caffeine. Is there a daycare next door or something? All of this makes me sound like a spinster curmudgeon who will die alone next to a stuffed cat but seriously can children under the age of 4 be banned from coffee shops?!

I think it says a lot for the treasures contained in this thread that that comes across as one of the saner, more measured Yelp reviews

x-p
Wait, if you hate Intelligensia why is it your "usual?"

It was probably a mommy-and-me meetup group.

The Pacific Northwest seems to have their coffee game pretty locked down so I had high hopes for this Seattle chain.

famous last words circa late '80s

It took me a few minutes of googling to realize that The Pacific Northwest is not actually the name of the coffee chain.

i feel bad that that guy wasn't allowed to give negative 2 stars to that dry cleaners, fortunately that is also the number of people who visit yelp to find reviews of dry cleaners

i used yelp to find a good dry cleaner last summer

how was the ambiance

well it turns out dry cleaning is not really that good at getting rid of sweat stains. then i turned to oxyclean

I found that review looking on Yelp for dry cleaner near me that would clean a king-sized down comforter and also hem a couple of dresses.

I'm taking the dresses to the place that yutz hates, and the comforter to different place closer to my house, in case you were wondering.

carlagathadrycleaner.ilx

I'd sooner take internet recommendations for and against dry cleaners than restaurants tbh

I mean I read all the restaurant reviews which appear on the local reviews site (less scumbaggy than yelp but still def some verbose entitlement issues, but ho ho enough about my ilx posts) but the bad ones have never seriously put me off going anywhere, whereas I've definitely avoided the dry cleaners that had really bad reviews

"this place took several days and ruined my suit" less amusing than "zomg, so many books, in a bookshop! who would have thought" or 1000 words on the presumed morals of waitstaff/clientele masquerading as a review of some coffee which you can only describe as "fine", though

my tailor/dry cleaner has 4.5 yelp stars (did not find them through yelp)