OPO, so what was the worst film you ever saw?

Igby Goes Down actually made me angry, so that

I'm sure I've seen a lot of terrible movies, but I really hold a grudge against The Departed. Like what Matt P says upthread about "i think a movie has to have some regard and canonization / be a reflection of a big lie for me to really hate it.". That's the one time that I've truly felt that emperor's new clothes kind of rage that I think a lot of people get from more artsy stuff.

oh god, I forgot about "little man" - I watched all kinds of forgettable-to-horrible 2006-7 movies at my parents' place with my dad while he was doped up on oxy and dying of cancer :(

Fuck cancer (and "Little Man")

The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel was pretty hard going...

if half the movies mentioned here are seriously the worst you've ever seen then you've probably only seen like 60 movies in your entire life.

Spectrist, I totally watched "Deepstar Six" a few months ago. it was truly terrible.

some noms:

- Spiderhole (2010) (like Saw or any of those movies, but also a diatribe against squatting, squatters, young poor people, etc)
- Marley & Me
- Crash (the story behind this one is that i saw it with a load of friends, and afterwards i was the only one who absolutely hated it, and then we went and got drunk and somewhat fucked on drugs and i ended up punching someone in the face about it when they accused me of being a racist shit for hating it. only made me hate it more).
- Fast Five (luckily i was so drunk that whatever, FAST CARS)

you're right i've only seen 47 thanks billstevejim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYOpgizcVG0

and i ended up punching someone in the face about it when they accused me of being a racist shit for hating it.

Crash is the kind of movie that seems constructed to snag good reviews and word of mouth on the basis of liberal guilt and to saddle its critics with the onus of racial insensitivity. Having to defend oneself against accusations of racism in the face of criticizing a morally facile, narratively trite, and baldly manipulative piece of cinematic garbage is all the more reason to despise the stupid thing. I hated it largely because of its insulting 'third grade term paper' treatment of race.

RACISM IS BAD. I DO NOT LIKE RACISM AND IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IF SANDRA BULLOCK REALIZED THAT HER MAID IS ACTUALLY HER BEST FRIEND THEN MAYBE RACISM WOULD BE OVER. THE END.

sandra bullock and george of the jungle made a cute couple tho

Mike Myers' Cat In The Hat may almost match Alice in horrible kids' movie dept.

― Nataly Dawn's echoey swamp sound (Dan Peterson), Wednesday, January 30, 2013 4:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I had forgotten about Cat in the Hat. Truly a disturbing movie. You could say "So bad it's good" but really you do not want to sit through this at any rate. The jokes are horrible. Some of them are just bizarrely tasteless for a kid's movie. The makeup is really weird. If "Alice" was Depp doing the Fudderwacken for two hours straight, changing costumes every 20 seconds, then you could begin to compare the two.

The more I hear/see people utter variants of, "No, no. You don't understand. The Cat In The Hat is next-level bad. Like, watching it will make you feel bad," the more perversely interested I am in seeing it.

When The Abyss came out there was a spate of cash-in underwater sci-fi/horror movies that all uniformly sucked, they either had Priscilla Barnes or Richard Crenna in them,
I have seen all of these, I do not regret it.

The first one I thought of was Sliver but I thought I must have the spelling wrong, maybe it's just too early in th emorning

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108162/?ref_=sr_6
anyway, sat around waiting for the film to actually start until the end credits rolled.

I thought i saw it had been critically rediscovered recently, but maybe it was just its presence on Film 4 or something.

i mean, Deepsix or whatever that one Spectrist mentioned is pretty bad, but it is bad in a pretty harmless way.

have any of you sat through The Outlaw of Gor?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098048/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

I did, and it suUUuuuUuucked

oh that's one of those ones that i've always been like, "wtf is that thing, it looks awful, NEXT." glad i did.

I would be lying if I said that The Outlaw of Gor was the worst movie I've ever seen, but it's the worst one the name of which I can remember.

Cocaine Cowboys 2 and Tremors 5 are veritable masterpieces in comparison

oh god cat in the hat.

almost worth seeing not because it's so-bad-it's-good, because that implies some kind of jocular pleasure the movie will not provide, but because it's like the entertainment of some alien species with whom we're in a total war for survival. which we probably are.

Coyote Ugly. I came close to walking out, and I was watching it on a plane. (Actually, I had to watch it twice to make sure it was quite as bad as I thought it was.)

The Wedding Date, if only for Dermot Mulroney - I've never seen a more moribund, wooden performance by a leading man, just mind-blowingly bad, and as charismatic as a refuse collection crew hard at work outside yr bedroom window at 6am (and with less jokes).

For an article on the state of the romcom a couple of years ago I had to watch Valentine's Day, which was so grotesquely smug, lazy and insulting that it made Love Actually look like Shakespeare's sonnets.

"The Scarlet Letter" with Demi Moore

Maybe he's just not that into you, while we're listing them

watched New Years Eve a couple nights ago, felt like it was 3+ hours long

The dullest movie I had to watch in the last few years was Pretty Bird, the Billy Crudup jet pack movie.

Oh yeah, Little Man is a good candidate. That was one of those movies that has a really stupid, unbelievable premise, but doubles down on it by having every character act in a manner that is completely illogical and contrary to what an actual person would do. Come to think of it Wild Hogs was the same way. Juwanna Mann too. I don't know why I watch all these movies.

By the way, in Little Man, THE CHARACTER WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BABY HAS A TATTOO.

dancer in the dark. annoying shaky camerawork and mumbled dialog (as i recall) combined with nails-on-chalkboard musical sequences. everyone i went with loved it.

but obv i've seen worse movies on tv/video.

It's not the worst, but Dancer In The Dark is the second movie (after Requiem For A Dream) listed in this thread that I bought sight unseen in that pre-Netflix era because they never came to any of my small town theaters and they seemed like films I would enjoy. DITD I watched once, R4AD I unfortunately watched many times over a weekend as one friend after another came over and wanted to see it. Never had a lick of desire to see either again.

i forget pre-netflix, were people unable to lend videos to friends in those days

geez, where are Jjjjjjusten and Austerity Ponies in this thread? I feel like so many of you just haven't seen really really really bad movies.

Hated Dancer in the Dark so much that I didn't see another Von Trier movie until the (surprisingly excellent) Melancholia.

xp most of us know better than to pay to see third-rate movies?

there's nothing in this thread stipulating that you paid to see the awful movie in question.

i dunno - it's something akin to the dollar bin record buying instinct, where you hope to find some obscure woefully underrated gem - if you do not have this instinct then ...

yeah every one I mentioned outside of Clerks 2 has been on TV

hollow man the worst film i've ever seen -- but only b/c i watched BOTH alien vs. predators films and a stupidly large amount of Uwe Boll joints.

NOT the worst film i've ever seen, i meant to say.

bad movie watching is v v similar to the crate digging motivation, but if you had to listen to all the copies of whipped cream and other delights before you found the white cover fahey jammed in the back imo

that is meant in a totally positive sense fyi

^^ gets it. Dozens of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and only one The Freakmaker

i accidentally domed your son is also pretty bad, and not in an enjoyable way.

amazing amazing title though

Easy answer: Fear dot com

there is a heroic quality to it - like

"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,"

except instead of pitch-and-toss, it's committing to an hour and a half of Night Train to Terror