OPO, so what was the worst film you ever saw?

are we actually listing genuinely terrible movies or mostly competent middlebrow fare that we have axes to grind against, because if the latter is the case I could happily rant about Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut and The Hours but I am actually aware enough to know that there are so many things out there that are so much worse

you forget the terrible on every level movies, but you remember the things that passed themselves off as legitimate mainstream entertainment only to turn out to be a sack of shit to the face

Oh shit. I know what mine actually is. Island Girl. I have an abiding love of shonky amateurishness and unintentional comedy, sometimes from a "so bad it's good lol" perspective, sometimes just because people can accidentally create something beautiful out of getting-it-wrong. So sitting down to watch this gem from Poundland I was expecting it to be at least somewhat amusingly bad. It was horrible, unfunny, glaringly racist, boring, contemptible in every way. It's kind of funny to talk about it now, but the actual experience was awful, and we couldn't make it all the way through. Really the worst.

Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut and The Hours -- superb candidates for shit-thrown-in-face movies.

mr and mrs smith

just crystallizes banal hollywood for me

yugh

I have only seen MST3K versions but I very vividly remember Eegah!, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, The Wild World of Batwoman, The Girl with the Golden Boots and The Final Sacrifice. Also, I attempted to watch I Accidentally Domed Your Son, which is in fact the most embarrassing, inept thing I have ever tried to watch, to the point where I was feeling physical discomfort trying to make myself watch it.

If I had to list the real, honest to goodness, most-inept-on-every-conceivable-level movie I've ever seen and can remember, it would be Birdemic.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51kRRsUxl5L._SX500_.jpg

the worst i can recall having paid to see

oh god, I really enjoyed that movie

Yeah, the true worst are the movies that are technically good enough to bring their aesthetic failures to full life. The last in this category that comes to mind is Curse of the Golden Flower.

Well the problem is that most people's aesthetic preferences are objectively wrong. It's.not Hudson Hawk's fault if someone doesn't like it. We have a responsibility to appreciate masterpieces and we are morally bankrupt if we dismiss them.

otherwise, almost certainly manos: the hands of fate

also really enjoyed The Saint, which shockingly does not hold up at all to repeat viewings aside from the 90 second scene of the car zooming around Moscow blasting "Pearl's Girl"

Just saw Birdemic for the first time a couple of weeks ago and it was GREAT. I love being boggled.

Were you hangin' out with the family, havin' yourselves a party?

Forgot about this fest-only monstrosity I saw a couple years back. And yes, that is Jodorowsky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6Q7T5ix9TM

I believe I was having some sensual work time.

xp

I was going to list Manos too but bailed at the last minute because all I really remember is a bunch of women dazedly dancing in their nightgowns, which isn't that bad a memory

fair

well actually I remember Torgo, so I should have listed it

i have certainly seen some jess franco films that boldly redefined our notions of what constitutes 'good' filmmaking

really there's nothing worse than a laughless, smileless comedy.

anything that is a "biting satire about HOLLYWOOD".
(a) shooting fish in a barrel
(b) fuck off

I'd love to pretend that Jess Franco is always interesting even when the films are objectively bad, but it's not quite true. That's the peril of making a film every four weeks for fifty years i suppose.

saw a biopic of Nostradamus in 1994 directed by the guy who went onto direct Battlefield Earth that might be the worst thing i've ever seen in a cinema, wd have walked out but was supposed to review it.

oh and i've just remembered Garfield 2 and Horrid Henry, guess we shd rule out kids films

'battlefield earth' is the second-worst book i've ever finished

last movie i can remember making me alternately furious, grievously embarrassed and bored was Take This Waltz (check the the sarah polley thread if you give a rip)

other than that, a few years ago i tried to revisit Bugsy Malone, which i know TOTALLY ENRAPTURED me as a little kid (though i may have only been going off previews??). it was seriously unsettling on a deep level and i couldn't get more than a half hour into it. not just on a pedo-zone reaction but like an unheimlich Why Was This Done kind of a feeling

Tell you what, I was warned that "Gonks go Beat" was pretty bad.

It is, but occasionally it does some pretty good scenes..

Bugsy Malone is great

Apollo 18 is on Sky right now, it is wretched.

anything that is a "biting satire about HOLLYWOOD".

Hollywood Blvd?

oh man, I remember even at the time that a good portion of my fascination with Bugsy Malone was driven by the cognitive dissonance of the movie being entirely populated by kids doing essentially a straightforward gangster movie

have we done a "super creepy kids movies" thread, because even though it would be dominated by Willy Wonka it could be fun

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_Sky

rented this in high schoool, pretty much thought it was ridiculous. i had no idea it was divisive at the time.

I used to get Bugsy Malone and Johnny Dangerously confused. Awkward.

donkey's years since i saw hollywood blvd. would have to watch again. thinking more of "the player" or "state & main" or smug wank like that

o shit i saw liquid sky in lol college

BMalone was too much 'aimed at my age' and my mother loved it, so...

Now, it's ok by me, but the dubbed in singing voice is wrong.

mein gott, ja.
"curse of the golden flower"
shit you couldn't care less about in a million expensive costumes

i think this was my favorite movie circa age 8?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby:_Secret_of_the_Lost_Legend

Production
The dinosaur-effects are all animatronic, since this was before the widespread use of CGI in motion pictures.

Reception
Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend received generally negative reviews; the film currently holds a 10% 'rotten' rating on review aggregate website Rotten Tomatoes.[2]

tim burton's "alice in wonder(how/why?)land"

Jurassic Park & Jumanji, hate you

Ooh that's a good choice, I hate that movie so much. xp

Tell you what, I was warned that "Gonks go Beat" was pretty bad.

It is, but occasionally it does some pretty good scenes..

― Mark G, Wednesday, January 30, 2013 8:45 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's a mostly boring film with, as you say, some good scenes. Wouldn't put it on a list like this, definitely not.

Mike Myers' Cat In The Hat may almost match Alice in horrible kids' movie dept.

I was mostly agnostic re: Burton's "Alice In Wonderland" until he decided to not follow the story to its creepy logical conclusion and show that the true evil wasn't the Red Queen but that Red and White were out of balance and turning power over to the White Queen would make things just as awful/fucked up and when the goddamned Futterwacken started

It's not the worst, but the first film that came to mind was Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

Didn't see it in the theater, so I don't know if it counts, but I'm going with Southland Tales

haha Ecks vs Sever was the movie that made me realize I don't actually love any old dumb action movie (see also: War starring Jet Li and Jason Statham)

someone upthread listed 500 days of summer

as bad as any

Liquid Sky is great just for the opening scene in the club. and the sdtk