Dane Cook is the worst thing to ever happen to comedy.

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and speak of the devil what's with that middle aged lady trying to pull a Diceman?

you mean lisa lampanelli? she's AWFUL.

― joseph (joseph), Sunday, 15 January 2006 05:14 (eighteen years ago) link

aww, man, i wish this thread had been around six months ago when dane cook was selling shitloads of albums and i was starting to think i was losing my mind and my sense of humor.

how some fratty "MY BOYFRIEND IS SOOOOO FUNNY" type got so popular i'll never know.

― baby, disco is fuck (yournullfame), Sunday, 15 January 2006 14:27 (eighteen years ago) link

that dana carvey HBO special notwithstanding

what was this? when was this? I would watch it, I think.

is Dana Carvey's aborted series on torrent anywhere?

― kyle (akmonday), Sunday, 15 January 2006 15:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Demetri Martin

who's this one? the kid?

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 15 January 2006 18:01 (eighteen years ago) link

kyle, the HBO "critic's choice" special that comedy central used to run like nonstop. he reprises the "CHOPPING BROCCOLI" song on piano and does a whole bit about the OJ trial. haven't seen it in ages but i loved it back in '95 or so and for all i know it may have dated pretty well.

― joseph (joseph), Sunday, 15 January 2006 18:07 (eighteen years ago) link

we get Earl in the UK now. seems like an attempt to do coen bros lite (esp. raizing arizona), god help us

― Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Sunday, 15 January 2006 18:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh yeah, with the bits with Ross Perot talking about Waterworld and Forrest Gump

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 15 January 2006 18:15 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Comic Dane Cook signs with HBO (How do I Hyperlink btw?)

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060302-125408-4367r

Dane Cook seems like the kinda guy who got started in the funny business by being "that guy" at the party doing obnoxious Jim Carrey bits ("SMOKIN!"). He also strikes me as the kinda guy who, at thirty-something, still refers to sex as "gettin' laid" and who bitches about the music at a party until somebody plays something from Who's Next.

― Cunga (Cunga), Friday, 3 March 2006 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw him host SNL and couldn't figure out why they gave a horribly unfunny comic free reign all over the opening monologue to hack stand up. Not that SNL is any hallmark of comedy but I was surprised they broke with tradition like that for someone who seemed like a blip on the radar of popular culture.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 3 March 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I was surprised they broke with tradition like that for someone who seemed like a blip on the radar of popular culture.

They used to do this a lot more in the beginning but I think that in recent years it's gotten worse and worse. I actually wish they'd book some more obscure acts but preferably better ones.

― Cunga (Cunga), Friday, 3 March 2006 23:40 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Isn't it funny how you say you hate these people but can't stop talking about them? You people need to grow up and get a fucking life. If you really hate these people, then don't talk about them. Christ

― damn you're all thick, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:06 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck off, cunt

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:10 (eighteen years ago) link

You spent 10 minutes (including spell check) typing out 3 sentences on an internet message board telling people on an internet message board not to "talk" about people they don't like because you like them. Are you sure that was a wise use of your time?

Also, your sensitive plea for tolerance is undermined by your fake email address.

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:10 (eighteen years ago) link

why do you critocize dane when what has he done notihng to you. he is an awesome guy i met him once he was so cool he signed my cd and i told him to sign my bong and he did. do any of your band idols do that? i bet you fagz listent to mariah carey and her butt buddy ahley simpson dont you losers

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:14 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm fod up cos all you wanna do is critocize

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

don't call us fagz, you asked a dude to sign your bong. sometimes a bong is just a big ceramic cock you know.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:21 (eighteen years ago) link

More like Dane Cock amirite?

― Ricky Nadir (noodle vague), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:22 (eighteen years ago) link

ok know im beng harsh but you all need lighting up with my 'creamic' cock and then maybe youd understand the sublety of danes humorous

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

yes, mariah carey and ahley simpson have anal sex. with their penises.

I clicked on this thread to impart my tale of how Dane Cook played Boston recently, and people at my university were offering up tickets they'd bought in advance (and paid around one hundred dollars for) for free. So hopefully that ship has sailed. Or maybe we just don't understand Dane's humorous.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 00:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Didn't Dane Cook's comedy CD break sales records? For comedy albums? Or something?

This guy is a GOD to hordes of college students, I've witnessed the Dane-worship firsthand

Also the ladies love him

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I CANT BELIEVE HES FUCKING JESS SIMPSON

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:15 (eighteen years ago) link

dam straight, my gf wants a fantasy 3some with me her and dane, hes the only man i would lett screw my gf, except maybe tommy lee, but dane is the man and he gets buckets of trim

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:18 (eighteen years ago) link

i vote animal poster of the year

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:19 (eighteen years ago) link

i hav a poster of dimebag on the wall

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:22 (eighteen years ago) link

me too wit his bro vinny

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm still interested in hearing more about how Ashlee Simpson and Mariah Carey are butt buddies. I hate being teased!

― Cunga (Cunga), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

the best concert ever wood be dane and dimebag and fucking bob marley and, like dane would bring the laguhing, marley the spiritual and the weed, and dimebag the weed and the fucking power and the riffs and the weed.

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:32 (eighteen years ago) link

I wish Smash would post to ILX again

― JW (ex machina), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:33 (eighteen years ago) link

cunga man you seen requiem for dreams? that shit with the junkies and the chjick she connects ass dildos with other girls for money and shit? jennifer connely, she was in the labyrnth. i dont know any facts about mariah and ashlee they just suck donkey balls

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I remember the Labyrinth playing on Disney Channel in the early-90s alright. David Bowie was as scary as you got for a little boy.

― Cunga (Cunga), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:50 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah themuppets are effin scary and shit, bowie is like the 80's muppet man. i used watch this when the babysiter came and she was smokin' but iwas like 4 and it wouldnt work out ya know? i got scared when she told mne the goblins comin to get meman arrr! but bowie is like evil in this moviee i bet the thing is hes really nice and in personable

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:56 (eighteen years ago) link

you don't want tommy lee fucking your gf unless you want her to get hepatitis!

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 01:59 (eighteen years ago) link

well its a fantasy mange a tois, in real life id be all, hey dude get yer innoculashions and shit

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Cook often refers to specific places or things using his own slang terms. For instance: Burger King is the "BK Lounge"
- wikipedia

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I CAN'T WAIT TO USE HIS SLANG WITH MY REAL PALS

― gbx (skowly), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Jessica Simpson is back in the USA from her down under trip to Australia and she has been welcomed home with more speculation that she is deeply involved in a love triangle with hunky co-star Dane Cook and his girlfriend and rocker Raquel Houghton.

Are Jess and Dane an Item?

Cook and Jess have both denied any romantic relationship.

But the actress has reportedly been spotted taking in Dane's comedy club shows (where he is cracking jokes about infidelity) and Alan Smith is now reporting that Jess has wrecked the hunky comment with his live-in love Raquel.

This is the story according to the Enquirer.

***

"Jessica couldn't resist Dane and vise-versa," revealed a friend of Jessica to the magazine. "Dane is her first full blown love affair."

Now it gets complicated.

The report details that Raquel has threatened to move out on Dane since she found out about the steamy affair. Jessica's rep told the magazine that since filming ended the comedian is back with Raquel but the weekly cites a source that says otherwise.

"Jessica is a sucker for a guy that makes her laugh - and (Nick) wasn't very funny," the source reveals.

***

Jess and Dane reportedly made a pact to keep the affair secret - both have indeed denied the affair several times - but the pair were reportedly spotted in several New Mexico nightspots holding hands and raising eyebrows.

If the details of this are accurate - who will Dane choose?

--Kate S. Campbell

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:22 (eighteen years ago) link

dane inspired my rap dreams

dane is a playa the poon-tang slaya the bk lounge is where he eats the whopper, gayer

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Looks like Dane finally got around to googling himself. A+!

― John Justen (johnjusten), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:26 (eighteen years ago) link

im jus playin my roomate chris made that shit up, hes real good at shit like that.

the bud is kind, inspires ya mind!

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:28 (eighteen years ago) link

no effin way thats not dane, he wouldnt post messages on here

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:29 (eighteen years ago) link

shit man, if thats dane, fuck, man you are a god brah!

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:30 (eighteen years ago) link

PEACE

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 02:31 (eighteen years ago) link

ok i dont like you anymore. too forced. keep it subtle, mang.

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah I nominate animal as worst poster of the year

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:19 (eighteen years ago) link

He's similarly annoying on other threads

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:20 (eighteen years ago) link

you both are new. fah q!

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:23 (eighteen years ago) link

bite me

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:28 (eighteen years ago) link

i cant im bizzy biting yer mom

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:36 (eighteen years ago) link

you're hurting her :(

― Chris Bergen (Cee Bee), Wednesday, 26 April 2006 03:48 (eighteen years ago) link

fuck yall im screwin both yer mamas

― animal, Wednesday, 26 April 2006 06:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 115 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

you guys know he's been banned, right? are you getting the last word in or something?

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 30 July 2006 00:46 (seventeen years ago) link

my bad "you guys", i made a terrible poorly-timed joke on the dane cock thread

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Sunday, 30 July 2006 00:55 (seventeen years ago) link

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/gallery/2004/05/26/timzaccheo.jpg

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 30 July 2006 00:56 (seventeen years ago) link

http://static.flickr.com/49/167458271_81d7e69749.jpg

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Sunday, 30 July 2006 01:10 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.eiain.co.uk/wp/fred_20durst.jpg

― Supercalifragilisticexpiala Brosius (chaki), Sunday, 30 July 2006 01:23 (seventeen years ago) link

ha de-evolution in action!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 30 July 2006 01:38 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img.xxxtom.com/site02/join_19.jpg

― gear (gear), Sunday, 30 July 2006 01:42 (seventeen years ago) link

myspace is creepy.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Sunday, 30 July 2006 01:46 (seventeen years ago) link

seven months pass...

http://i7.tinypic.com/2111hg4.jpg
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http://i7.tinypic.com/2111hg4.jpg
http://i7.tinypic.com/2111hg4.jpg

― gershy, Thursday, 8 March 2007 06:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh god this thread.

― Pashmina, Thursday, 8 March 2007 10:58 (seventeen years ago) link

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