― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:40 (twenty years ago) link
It is an excuse for one person to have their cake and eat it too. It is the refuge of the emotionally selfish who doesn't mind hurting everyone around them except themselves.
Or, on the other hand, if you're that bored with a relationship that you want to start screwing around - sorry - bringing other people into it, then that relationship wasn't built on anything particularly strong in the first place.
DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD DUD!!!
Not that I speak from experience either.
― kate (kate), Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:52 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:53 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:54 (twenty years ago) link
― kate (kate), Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:56 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Thursday, 17 July 2003 07:58 (twenty years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 08:30 (twenty years ago) link
― duane, Thursday, 17 July 2003 10:34 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:06 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:14 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:15 (twenty years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:18 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:18 (twenty years ago) link
A couple of years ago, my husband and I had a girlfriend who lived in Germany, and who was involved with both of us -- again, we would see her a few times a year and all was very nice. We went to Venice together once. She dumped us in a particularly heartless manner. Plus, she was a Momus fan!
― Layna (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link
Kate nailed it from my own outside perspective, it always seemed to be one guy with an inflated sense of self-esteem and probably a too-big-dick and girls who did not have good opinions of themselves, who did a good job of seeming to be cool with everything, but in all the cases I witnessed someone was getting hurt and, away from the people in the relationship, was very obviously unhappy.
Frankly the whole thing smacks of immaturity to me.
― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link
― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:22 (twenty years ago) link
― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:29 (twenty years ago) link
ronan and i came up with a website the yesterday called "creaky finger"
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:31 (twenty years ago) link
Hell, why have a relationship in the first place, then!
― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:47 (twenty years ago) link
― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:52 (twenty years ago) link
The only regular poster I know of who can speak with any authority on this subject is Ms. Laura.
― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:54 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 16:57 (twenty years ago) link
I have been a part of a poly relationship, and while it didn't work all that well, for a whole shedload of reasons, it's not something I wouldn't consider again. I'm honestly not bothered by my partner being someone else's partner as well, providing he/she is not an arsehole. I've known enough happy poly people/relationships to be aware that it can work, and over a long period of time too.
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 17:08 (twenty years ago) link
― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:08 (twenty years ago) link
― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:09 (twenty years ago) link
(special for Josh there)
― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:15 (twenty years ago) link
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:17 (twenty years ago) link
I've had a tiny bit of firsthand experience and tons of secondhand experience with it. It isn't for me. The majority of the people I've known who seem to make it work are people I really can't stand, which makes it all pretty moot for me: if those are the personalities required to make it work, it really really isn't for me. (I'm not counting Our Ms L, since I don't really know her.)
― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:24 (twenty years ago) link
― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:33 (twenty years ago) link
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:35 (twenty years ago) link
(Almost cross-posted with Dan there. The ditto is to DDG.)
― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 17 July 2003 18:35 (twenty years ago) link
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 17 July 2003 20:07 (twenty years ago) link
haha why do you think i revived this?!?!
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:51 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:52 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 22:59 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:05 (twenty years ago) link
― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:06 (twenty years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:07 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:12 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:13 (twenty years ago) link
― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:14 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:14 (twenty years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:14 (twenty years ago) link
since when do i have any say, especially if i "love" someone, in how that person lives their life, provided i don't feel like the way they need to live their life is trampling over my same.
I know it's just your take on it, jess, but this seems either vague enough as to not mean much ("... provided I don't feel ..." grants a lot of leeway) or just bizarre. In any long-term relationship, how X lives their life affects Y in many, many ways which don't trample Y's ability to live their life the way they want to.
― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:19 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:21 (twenty years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:24 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:24 (twenty years ago) link
That's all I was saying, I think -- compromise as opposed to a completely "do whatever you like as long as it doesn't threaten my well-being" sort of thing.
― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:25 (twenty years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 17 July 2003 23:31 (twenty years ago) link
the most vocal and visible poly people are fuckin’ insufferable
― bob lefse (rushomancy), Monday, 16 October 2017 00:56 (six years ago) link
like cultists
― j., Monday, 16 October 2017 01:00 (six years ago) link
this badiouian-maoist critique of polyamory
amazing!
― budo jeru, Saturday, 11 June 2022 04:34 (one year ago) link
revolutionaryphilosophycommittee.wordpress.com is no longer available.The authors have deleted this site.
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 June 2022 12:38 (one year ago) link
rip
― the cat needs to start paying for its own cbd (map), Saturday, 11 June 2022 17:53 (one year ago) link
i wayback machine'd it, you should too?
― budo jeru, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:30 (one year ago) link
https://web.archive.org/web/20141015103013/http://revolutionaryphilosophycommittee.wordpress.com/2014/09/01/a-communist-critique-of-polyamory/
― budo jeru, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:31 (one year ago) link
thanking u!
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:42 (one year ago) link
Those who engage in polyamory speak about loving multiple people, yet they never once ask the question, ‘what is love?’
badiou don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more
― sarahell, Saturday, 11 June 2022 18:44 (one year ago) link
― budo jeru
at least we don't have to content with a baeddelian critique of polyamory (lol as if such i could even imagine a self-identified baeddel who wasn't poly)
― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 11 June 2022 20:34 (one year ago) link