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A smirk smeared across his face, Armstrong wistfully recalls how he called Besty "crazy" and "a bitch."
Then, for one horrible moment, you can and watch Lance sit back "read the room."
Time for a little comedy.
"I did call her crazy….I did. I did. I think she'd be okay with me saying this, but…I'm gonna take the liberty to say it. [When we spoke on the phone recently,] I said 'Listen, I called you ‘crazy,' I called you ‘a bitch.' I called you all these things…but I never called you ‘fat.'"
Then, Armstrong pauses for laughter.
He pauses a little longer for laughter.
He waits and waits for the laughter to come, while the camera cuts to a brilliant shot of Oprah blinking at him, her eyelids heavy under the weight of gravitas.
"'Cause…" he begins. Maybe Oprah didn't get the joke? Maybe if he explains the joke it will become funny and he and Oprah will laugh and laugh and she'll scrap the whole interview and take him to OS-TRAIL-YAAAAA instead?
"…She thought I said ‘You are a fat, crazy bitch,'" he flails, reaching out for a lifesaver. Unfortunately Oprah's soul has already left her body; she floats above the room and watches him die.
"…And I said," he repeats "‘Betsy…I never said you were fat.'"
Okay, Oprah's done. She moves on.
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 18 January 2013 19:14 (eleven years ago) link
two months pass...
one month passes...
So.....hey what's up?
Howard Stern welcomed comedienne April Macie back to his satellite radio show Monday morning, and Macie spilled the goods about a variety of topics, including the night that champion cyclist Lance Armstrong asked her to perform an extremely dirty sexual act on him in a hotel bathroom.
Macie said that she and a friend met Armstrong at a club in Los Angeles and then went back to his Peninsula hotel room to party with some friends. When Macie stepped into the bathroom, though, she bore witness to a very different kind of party than the one she had expected.
"I went to use the bathroom, and I went in and Lance was bent over a bathtub and she was just face deep in his a**hole...I was terrified. And then he came out and said: ‘Does your friend want in on a round too?’ and I was like: 'Of taint tickling? I’m gonna take a pass'..I think it’s hilarious that he would ask without even knowing my first name—to eat his a**hole. Like: ‘Do you want in on a round too? Of **hole eating?...I got pretty for the evening. I didn’t know he was going to ask me to eat his asshole later on.”
Macie said that the incident happened "five or six years ago," long before Armstrong was hit with the brunt of the massive drug scandal in which he was accused of using steroids to win seven consecutive Tour de France titles from 1999-2005. In January 2013, Armstrong finally admitted to the doping allegations after years of denying them.
― unfinest DN (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 23 May 2013 12:07 (ten years ago) link
one year passes...
agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame
― Aimless, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 19:10 (nine years ago) link