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Classic if someone else, dud if you.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 December 2002 21:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Anyway does red wings really refer specifically to oral?

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 26 December 2002 22:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

two weeks pass...

That was my understanding Mark yes.

(Oh the randomiser, what joy it brings)

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 10:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

eleven months pass...

The implications of Dan's last statement on this thread are actually horrifying...?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 16:54 (twenty years ago) link

SHUDDER

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:00 (twenty years ago) link

from now on, my nickname for dan is "moses."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:06 (twenty years ago) link

Gross!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:07 (twenty years ago) link

I know it's been two years, but surely people haven't forgotten the Dreadful Cunnilingus Story already!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:10 (twenty years ago) link

tad! dammit!

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:10 (twenty years ago) link

(haha misternotsohungrynow)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:11 (twenty years ago) link

oh my god. I finally figured out what the term meant right before getting to the explanations....

say, would Vampires like red wings?

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:15 (twenty years ago) link

Dan. OMG. Jesus christ. Holy shit. OMG.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you sure she was on her period? It sounds like one of her fucking ovaries hemmoraged for god's sake.

OMG. Can't breathe. OMG. Holy shit. I totally missed that thread.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:23 (twenty years ago) link

YET STILL SOMEHOW THAT STORY IS BETTER THAN WHAT I HAD GOING ON IN MY HEAD.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:25 (twenty years ago) link

Heh heh heh. I'm not reading it again, no, but I remember the story all too well from its first telling.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:25 (twenty years ago) link

JUST DON'T BITE IT!

― Eazy-E (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:26 (twenty years ago) link

jesus h. christ on
a lemon popsicle stick.
holy flippin' shit.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:26 (twenty years ago) link

Whatever you do, Ally, DON'T THINK OF COOKIE MONSTER.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty years ago) link

ARRRGH DON'T GO THERE TAD I JUST GOT THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD AND REPLACED IT WITH A BLOOD COVERED DAN (COS I DON'T KNOW WHAT "HIS FRIEND" LOOKS LIKE)

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty years ago) link

*vomits*

― smee (smee), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty years ago) link

I'm going to go sit outside smoking a cigarette while sitting in a semi-fetal position rocking back and forth now, thanks Dan.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:27 (twenty years ago) link

NWA performed a public service to EVERYONE with that song

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.abc.net.au/central/stories/m473502.jpg

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

(haha I am the dick)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

a few years ago, my brother was tracking search results that brought people to his (personal, blog-y) site, and somebody arrived there via the keywords "chrismas fuck" (in that exact spelling). that phrase is forever burned into my brain, as is Dan's cunnilingus story now.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:31 (twenty years ago) link

i'd like to thank you all for putting me off going anywhere near anybody's nether-regions for the foreseeable future. sexually frustrated? see Dan!

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:31 (twenty years ago) link

Well I will no longer be having a Christmas fuck now thanks to this thread, being as I am too horrified to even contemplate sexual activity for at least a month. Slutty elf costume going to waste, etc.

I blame only myself. My boyfriend, OTOH, might blame you, Dan. Fair warning.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:36 (twenty years ago) link

no elf tart for x-mas!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:38 (twenty years ago) link

Cookie cookie cookie starts with C

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:38 (twenty years ago) link

elf garb is not all that sexy, is it?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:39 (twenty years ago) link

i'd just like to take this moment to thank Dan for adding the phrase, "menstrual smell," to the ILeXicon.

(also: eat cookie = hahahaha)

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:39 (twenty years ago) link

stevem didn't you see the Good Stripping Songs thread when I revived it asking for Christmas stripping songs??! Trust me, it was hot! But now it is in the garbage.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:41 (twenty years ago) link

Between this thread and the "Cookie cookie cookie starts with C" thread, I think I'm losing my mind... AND I LIKE IT.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:42 (twenty years ago) link

santa's songs 2 succubi

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:42 (twenty years ago) link

no wonder santa's always so merry ... and those rosy cheeks and red nose.

and we haven't even gotten to rudolph yet

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:43 (twenty years ago) link

you can't see a menstrual mess on a red suit

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:44 (twenty years ago) link

Tad, once Ally comes out of her self-induced trauma coma she's totally gonna kick your ass.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:44 (twenty years ago) link

You're going to hell, Tad.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:45 (twenty years ago) link

she'll have to cross the hudson ... that shit's to ally what garlic and crosses are to dracula.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:46 (twenty years ago) link

I cross the Hudson every other fucking weekend. Do not make me get off the Amtrak at Newark. I will have you, son.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:47 (twenty years ago) link

Charlie Brown: Why is he such a hippie?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:50 (twenty years ago) link

dear santa- please erase the memory of dan's uterine lining facial mask story from my mind forever. and why in my mental picture does the guy resemble christopher walken?

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:29 (twenty years ago) link

when menses isn't yer kink, then there's always this i suppose:

http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/acatalog/680.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:34 (twenty years ago) link

or if you wanna mix the two:

http://www.mainegoodies.com/food/fluff/fluff.jpg

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

AGGGGH STOP IT NOW I'M THINKING OF CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AND DAN COVERED IN FLUFF AND BLOOD FUCK YOU!! I AM JOINING THE NUNNERY AFTER WORK TODAY!! YOU'VE ALL RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE!!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:35 (twenty years ago) link

I don't want to click on it, I don't want to...

except I did.

At least I no longer want to eat the lasagne I brought for lunch...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:37 (twenty years ago) link

Hang on hang on, they make raspberry fluff? That's the grossest thing I've heard so far on this thread, what is wrong with humanity??

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:40 (twenty years ago) link

it could be worse it could be blueberry fluff

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

Or lime.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:42 (twenty years ago) link

did i ever mention how my parents would take us blueberry picking in the poconos when i was a little eisbär?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

That's very twee and stupid of them.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:46 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 284 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Specific user horny

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 25 December 2020 16:03 (three years ago) link

and so this is Christmas
and what have you done
another year older
your finger in your bum

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 December 2020 16:04 (three years ago) link

and so this is Christmas
I hope you have cum
The barely legal ones
The milfs and the hung

― J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 25 December 2020 18:43 (three years ago) link

two years pass...

mind your business

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Sunday, 24 December 2023 21:05 (four months ago) link

By getting busy

― Evan, Sunday, 24 December 2023 21:27 (four months ago) link

with the fizzy

― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:11 (four months ago) link

it is just me and this champagne bottle here after all

― imago, Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:12 (four months ago) link

Christmas is a serious time for quiet contemplation and reflection.

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 24 December 2023 22:48 (four months ago) link

I can’t wait

― H.P, Sunday, 24 December 2023 23:48 (four months ago) link

god dammit now i'm thinking about last christmas, that was nice

this christmas eve i've been visited by three ghosts so far

still waiting for that bastard clyde to show up

― Kate (rushomancy), Monday, 25 December 2023 01:12 (four months ago) link

^^^^took me a few minutes, but I got it, excellent work Kate

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 25 December 2023 02:18 (four months ago) link

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Have you had your Christmas fuck yet?

SHUDDER