Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

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So far I have been wooed by a punk fan at Goldsmiths and someone who wants to know where he can play online Scrabble.

Marvellous!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 08:25 (8 years ago) Permalink

Starry I am crueller than you but you are more into drugs. Which sounds about right.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 08:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

Liz how do I find YOU on it?! I don't know how this works!!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 08:58 (8 years ago) Permalink

I am wintryme. There used to be a box down at the bottom of the page where you could search for people. I used the Compare Two Users thing.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 08:59 (8 years ago) Permalink

Yes but what does "radcliffy" mean?

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:07 (8 years ago) Permalink

radcliffy = oxbridge

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:08 (8 years ago) Permalink

I couldn't track down a definitive list of people, but I am akendoha.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:08 (8 years ago) Permalink

Dunno. There's a glossary somewhere. Anyway, I'm more whatever it is than you.

xpost REALLY dl? Haha that's actually true as well.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:08 (8 years ago) Permalink

liz - i think that's what it's supposed to mean anyway.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:12 (8 years ago) Permalink

Dude. Btw I am crap at the virgin game, although I'm better at spotting virginal boys than girls.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

bah! work stops me doing the virgin game.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 09:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

I can't believe those bastards send you a mail about the new site changes. I THOUGHT IT WAS A WOO.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 22 July 2004 10:10 (8 years ago) Permalink

At least they haven't ruined it a la allmusic

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 22 July 2004 10:25 (8 years ago) Permalink

I really like the way that the "real life friends" button says "BECKON THEM"!!!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 10:41 (8 years ago) Permalink

It won't let me add mine at the moment, so it says, rather hurtfully, that I have 'no real friends'.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 10:48 (8 years ago) Permalink

My best score on the virgin test is 65%. I suck.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 12:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

Wow. I got about 54%. It's not a skill that I am particularlt displeased not to have though. I rarely go hunting for virgins.

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 22 July 2004 12:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

I'm loving the Compare tool today. I am kinkier yet less indie than Carsmile.

Hey! I'm getting better at spotting virgins! 66%.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 22 July 2004 12:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

I am roxymuzak, obv.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

Friends networks! Virgin games! IT'S FULL OF STARS!

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:36 (8 years ago) Permalink

you'd think you'd get better at the virgin game but you don't.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:37 (8 years ago) Permalink

So true.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:39 (8 years ago) Permalink

I did poorly on the virgin game, even though I thought all of the following would hold true:

girls with teeny-emo webcam shots = 14-year-old virgins
dorky girls with dorm-room pictures = college-freshman virgins
young boys trying hard to look "nice" = virgins
people with photos in apartments or bars = not virgins

My world is all topsy-turvy now.

― nabiscothingy, Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:40 (8 years ago) Permalink

How did I get 50% on a 21-question test?

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:47 (8 years ago) Permalink

One of them had had a blowjob.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:51 (8 years ago) Permalink

magic.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:51 (8 years ago) Permalink

how the fuck did it come up with the statistics at the end? how did it know who'd had sex within an hour of the test? Actually I don't ever remember it asking me if i was a virgin in the first place.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:53 (8 years ago) Permalink

There's a "how many people have you, well, you know?" on the Type Test though, no?

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:53 (8 years ago) Permalink

oh. okay.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

Isn't this frivolous application of collected responses against some kind of data protection act? Have these people agreed to have their profiles turned into a spot-the-virgin game?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:56 (8 years ago) Permalink

You can opt out in your settings.

― nabiscothingy, Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:57 (8 years ago) Permalink

yes. it says it in the FAQ and sort of in a roundabout way on the front page. you can request it to be taken off if you so wish too.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:58 (8 years ago) Permalink

Oh, fucking hell. I just did the whole thing and then got an error page at the end so I don't know what my score is.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:13 (8 years ago) Permalink

Bah. So did I.

― marvin wang (marvin wang), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:31 (8 years ago) Permalink

The relevant page, post email provision (http://www.okcupid.com/signup) is down. Maybe if they fix it I can refresh the page later.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 22 July 2004 15:34 (8 years ago) Permalink

Still don't know what I got the first time, but I did it again and only got 38% correct, which is appalling. So I did it again, trying to go more for the obvious choice this time, and got 71%.

It says: "In general, males are about as good as females at spotting virgins. But females almost always guess correctly with female pairs."

Unless my logic is skewy, surely this also implies that men alomst always guess correctly with male pairs, unless they instead make up all the ground by getting much better scores in the mixed pair ones, which would be very odd.

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 15:51 (8 years ago) Permalink

(I think I fucked up the first time by assuming that dumpy, unattractive teenage girls were actually quite promiscuous, as a means of making themselves feel better about themselves, or as a product of sexual abuse. I now feel ashamed of this strategy.)

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 15:54 (8 years ago) Permalink

Alba, your logic is wrong - all that tells us is that women must be rather less good at anything but female pairs, and it certainly doesn't imply what you infer.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 24 July 2004 19:12 (8 years ago) Permalink

But how do the two sexes end up being about as good as each other overall? There are only three sections to the test - m/m, f/f and f/m. They must be losing ground to the men on one of the sections other than f/f. If it's f/m, then as I said, that's weird. If it's m/m then then male contestants must be, as I said, as good at that as the female ones are at f/f.

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 20:09 (8 years ago) Permalink

(I'm struggling to articulate why I can't countenance the possibilty that they would be better at f/m and the same as men at m/m. I guess that's where I'm stepping out of strict reason)

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 20:14 (8 years ago) Permalink

Hang on, now I'm confused.

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 20:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

you're not alone.

― cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 24 July 2004 20:16 (8 years ago) Permalink

Oh. I confused myself by making a typo - in the post three above I mean "I can't countenance the possibility that they would be worse at f/m and the same as men at m/m."

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 20:17 (8 years ago) Permalink

I've played around with some examples of possible averages and see my logic was indeed skewy. For a 70% overall score, it could be:

Women

f/f = 90
m/f = 75
m/m= 45

Men =

f/f = 68%
m/f = 75%
m/m = 67%

Which would be mean men are better at spotting m/f than either m/m or f/f. Hmm.. that would also be weird. Other combinations I've tried result in both sexes being bettter at spotting female virgins than male ones, which seem noteworthy enough for them to put up on the website.

Can you come up with a set of average scores that fits what we know without any interesting implications at all?

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 20:38 (8 years ago) Permalink

I always spoil everything.

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 24 July 2004 21:21 (8 years ago) Permalink

I can't stop looking at her:

ihttp://www.okcupid.com/profile?pic=0&tuid=8878330946154156249

― cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 24 July 2004 22:59 (8 years ago) Permalink

Ew. I can.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 24 July 2004 23:07 (8 years ago) Permalink

is that the Joker?

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 25 July 2004 00:15 (8 years ago) Permalink

I can't stop looking at her:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=12703610378878205705

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 25 July 2004 02:04 (8 years ago) Permalink

I can't stop looking at her:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=1366843686365106737

haha

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 25 July 2004 02:11 (8 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 8171 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

how many questions have you answered? what are the match %s like for people w/i 100 km of you

― 乒乓, Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:25 (1 week ago) Permalink

i'm about 330 questions now. most "Match & Distance" searches are less than 70 percent. i dunno, there just seem to be very few people in my datable vicinity.

― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:30 (1 week ago) Permalink

well that sucks

― 乒乓, Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:36 (1 week ago) Permalink

you could maybe try other sites too? some dating websites might have larger marketshares among certain locations / demographics

― 乒乓, Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

yeah it's probably me as much as anybody else, i might be setting my sights too narrow and it's probably just not an ideal site for people my age living where i live plus i'm still chickening out on the "just message somebody you have something in common with" scattergun approach

― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:39 (1 week ago) Permalink

at heart i don't feel dead comfortable with it as a process, keep going back more because of the unlikelihood of meeting new people between home and work and need to keep away from pubs etc

― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:40 (1 week ago) Permalink

'm still chickening out on the "just message somebody you have something in common with" scattergun approach

i know you know this, but this approach is no good! the whole point of the site, i think, is to facilitate setting up a first encounter irl, everything else is just noise

― 乒乓, Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:41 (1 week ago) Permalink

yeah that's what i thought, so i try to be honest and think "what kind of person would i really get on with?" but then i feel like i'm being unnecessarily picky or self-centred when really for it to work i guess you have to be honest with yrself. bottom line is this wd all probably be a lot easier if i was 34 than 44 so i shd probly try something else.

― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

well it's also impossible to tell what the other person is gonna be like from a profile

― 乒乓, Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

i know right?

arrrgh i'm such a ditherer

― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

yeah - just don't put too much stock into the website, don't put so much significance into it - it'll be easier to proceed if you're not thinking "IS SHE THE ONE???' with every new profile you look at

― 乒乓, Sunday, 12 May 2013 19:51 (1 week ago) Permalink

yeah it wasn't like looking for The One but looking for anybody who might be interesting/interested in a date. that's another thing that makes dating sites seem too much like work i think

― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 May 2013 20:08 (1 week ago) Permalink

Some guy on OKC sent me two messages to which I did not reply. He sent me a third telling me to not be "stuck up."

― emilys., Sunday, 12 May 2013 23:53 (1 week ago) Permalink

what a maroon

― mookieproof, Monday, 13 May 2013 00:05 (1 week ago) Permalink

i hate accusations of "pretentiousness" or "stuck up-edness" because it feels like people are trying to scratch away at my dignity and bring me down to their level.

― Treeship, Monday, 13 May 2013 00:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

or something. i think it's a vicious thing to say to someone. you should block that person, if that is possible on ok cupid idk

― Treeship, Monday, 13 May 2013 00:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

The guy who I met on OKC in October – and moved in with in January (yikes! but good!) – is still on OKC. Is it ok that this makes me uncomfortable? He was, still, on OKC a few weeks after we met up and were pretty much of a thing. I was like "dude 1. you are being deceptive, no one wants to click on a profile that says 'I AM IN WUV W/A LADY BUT HERE'S MY PROFILE'* and 2. this kind of makes me uncomfortable." I think my biggest past relationship mistake has been being Too Accommodating, but OTOH I hate making ultimatums, I don't want to be like 'get rid of profile FOR ME bcz I SAID SO' but but otoh maybe that's not unreasonable at all???

*which happened way too much when I was shoving all my libidinal energy into that site

― I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 13 May 2013 03:01 (1 week ago) Permalink

that's not an unreasonable request at all, in my view. he shouldn't have a profile if you don't want him to.

― Treeship, Monday, 13 May 2013 03:03 (1 week ago) Permalink

There's secretly still a part of me that glamorizes being single, and living alone, and looking forward to a future of living w/my deranged and mean sister in a Grey Gardens style, god. Not to rub it in y'all singles' faces. The fact is I will always want what I can't have! As usual with feelings, the only solution is to drink and bicycle it out (not in that order).

― I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 13 May 2013 03:04 (1 week ago) Permalink

nah thats bs

living together is a big deal!

― mookieproof, Monday, 13 May 2013 03:25 (1 week ago) Permalink

^^^

― ljubljana, Monday, 13 May 2013 03:40 (1 week ago) Permalink

i got a message from a gel in spain saying "nice profile, consider this a pat on the back"

:-/

― gr8080, Monday, 13 May 2013 03:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

if only it a were mousse compliment

― Nhex, Monday, 13 May 2013 04:08 (1 week ago) Permalink

move to spain

― iatee, Monday, 13 May 2013 04:10 (1 week ago) Permalink

you'll be a millionaire there

― j., Monday, 13 May 2013 04:33 (1 week ago) Permalink

Yeah, keeping his profile up is wack. I generally like to start uncomfortable conversations about stuff like that with, "well, I consulted a bunch of strangers on the internet, and they agreed that I am right." xpost

Also, this just in: Well, anyway you have a great pair of tits. If you wanna be stuck-up, then oh well...

― emilys., Monday, 13 May 2013 08:17 (1 week ago) Permalink

Dude is clearly a master manipulator.

― You can fondle the cube but it will not respond. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:58 (1 week ago) Permalink

now-wife made me delete mine when we were living together - hadn't visited it since before we were an item (as I was able to demonstrate) but yeah, damn thing had to go (fair enough), corny whimsical write-up that I was irrationally proud of and all

― have a nice Blog (imago), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:05 (1 week ago) Permalink

Dude is clearly a master manipulator.
― You can fondle the cube but it will not respond. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, May 13, 2013 9:58 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

irl lol at this

― scintilla (seandalai), Monday, 13 May 2013 11:30 (1 week ago) Permalink

crabbits, it's really easy to just 'disable' the profile without deleting it - he can bring it back any time in the future if he wants to. might be a good middle road for him to take. but yeah, keeping it up while he's in a relationship w/ you is totally wrongheaded.

― 乒乓, Monday, 13 May 2013 11:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

but OTOH I hate making ultimatums, I don't want to be like 'get rid of profile FOR ME bcz I SAID SO' but but otoh maybe that's not unreasonable at all???

This is really hard for me too, historically I can be made to stifle my own discomfort by any old poor facsimile of an argument from someone I care about/want to believe I can make it work with. The thing is, "making it work" is not your responsibility--getting what you need IS. You are uncomfortable with his online dating profile when you LIVE TOGETHER, this is eminently reasonable imo. Ultimatums: I'm kind of coming around to them.

― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Monday, 13 May 2013 11:54 (1 week ago) Permalink

Begin as you mean to go on, as estela is fond of saying.

― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Monday, 13 May 2013 12:10 (1 week ago) Permalink

there is a subset of OKC users who actually use it as a social site, spending time in the forums and chatting with folks... I've encountered a few of them. but clearly you'll know if he's using it like that if you're living together. outside of that behavior, I wouldn't be comfortable with that situation at all.

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Monday, 13 May 2013 13:57 (1 week ago) Permalink

forums?

― goole, Monday, 13 May 2013 13:58 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.okcupid.com/forum

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:00 (1 week ago) Permalink

Are "perfect" guys online getting all dates or is it female failure to grasp reality by Chaeddd posted

oh hail no

― goole, Monday, 13 May 2013 14:01 (1 week ago) Permalink

I like the notion that there are perfect men and perfect women getting all the dates, forming noble couples and dining on rooftops and being given hotel suites. and we are doomed to love them, our relationships being crude approximations using dirt cakes and flowers made from potato peels.

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:05 (1 week ago) Permalink

Which way do you face in the shower?
On Force-Fields, Or Rather, Fields Of Force
Where's The Common People's Music?
SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE?
What do you hate about toilet seats?
cant believe i have to pay to search for fatties
Vampire Paedophiles
Mean girls are sexy

― scintilla (seandalai), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:29 (1 week ago) Permalink

u know what, fuck those toilet seats

― Nhex, Monday, 13 May 2013 14:30 (1 week ago) Permalink

i keep starting these promising conversations with attractive people, and then realizing that i don't actually have enough time or interest to be trying to 'date' somebody from scratch right now. and i wind up just not-responding when it gets to the 'so where do you want to meet up?' portion

Yeah, that's kinda me too. I've been busy with other things lately and have spent almost no time on the site, and paradoxically have gotten way more people interested in meeting me than when I was actively messaging people. I've met a few of these people with the idea that if I meet someone amazing, I'll pursue it further, but honestly I'm just being unfair to anyone I meet because I'm not the type that's gonna think someone is amazing from one date. Maybe I need to finally deactivate the ol' profile.

― Vinnie, Monday, 13 May 2013 14:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

I don't know why I said paradoxically. There's no paradox there.

― Vinnie, Monday, 13 May 2013 14:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

Hi Crabbbits, nice to see you around - seems like it's been a while.

I'm wondering if this guy answered the question about whether it's okay to maintain an active OKC profile while in a LTR.

When I see people answer that it's okay to do that, I feel like I'm some kind of jealous monster.

― Je55e, Monday, 13 May 2013 16:03 (1 week ago) Permalink

Yeh, I would say it was a bit odd to maintain a profile on a dating site when you're in a committed relationship. Ultimatums suck, but if someone isn't hearing you when you voice your concerns, then they may be the only way to go. Crabbits deserves only the best.

Also, further to the conversation upthread, even I sometimes get confused by the emil.y/emilys. thing. "I don't remember posting that? Oh, wait, no..." I don't mind though, the emily sistren must be united.

― emil.y, Monday, 13 May 2013 17:06 (1 week ago) Permalink

yall confuse the hell out of me

― Nhex, Monday, 13 May 2013 17:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

Don't give up hope everyone http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2325450/Painting-premonition-Artist-31-creates-oil-painting-perfect-man--marries-spitting-image-years-later.html

― 乒乓, Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:53 (4 days ago) Permalink

I'm gonna meet a lot of cartoon cats in the next ten years.

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Thursday, 16 May 2013 21:18 (4 days ago) Permalink

irl lol

― ljubljana, Thursday, 16 May 2013 21:21 (4 days ago) Permalink

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