Come anticipate "The Dark Knight Rises" with *BATSPOILERS*

ohhh that movie. I remember Mr Veg and getting a lot of lols out of the trailer.

*and I

yeah dan

Lockout was great. So was Ebert's mostly positive review:

I imagine the movie's intended audience will enjoy itself. I enjoyed myself in my own peculiar way. I like to ask myself how real people would feel in a situation like this. If I were sent on Snow's mission, I would be paralyzed by fright most of the time. But then I'm not One Man. I would be dead several times over by the ending of this film. But not to worry. I'm not gonna tell you they parachute to Earth and land in New York City. Nothing like that.

and when batman got his spine popped back in place by a friendly monk and started doing push-ups for the big climb out of a hole i was like, "movie, i hope you don't catch feelings, this is strictly a one night thing"

In the comics, Bruce became a paraplegic and was healed telekinetically by his then girlfriend/therapist as a side-effect of her defeating her stepbrother and going insane, regressing back to childhood and ending up institutionalized.

advantage: movie

Lockout was great

Stfu

that there is a stupider comic really doesn't change anything i wrote

also i can't say that story sounds less exciting than a pit in a faraway land

"i condemn you to hell, and by hell i mean a big pit i managed to escape from as a child, and a spinal injury that can be healed in a week by some calisthenics and the nurse i've provided."

oh wait it was talia that escaped forgot the twist

well same diff, right?

lockout is horrible. don't buy the "die hard on a spaceship" pitch.

Come anticipate "The Dark Knight Rises" with *KNOCKOUTSPOILERS*

oh sorry Lockout

lol Lockout

Have you seen Escape from NY? Make the location an orbiting penal colony instead of NYC, the person who is stuck is the president's daughter and not the president, and instead of Kurt Russell it's Guy Pearce

that is pretty much the whole plot

the only entertaining moment of Lockout is when the end credits say "based on an original story by Luc Besson"

that guy has so many original stories its crazy

Lockout made me so mad, I was at least expecting it to be entertaining.

"i condemn you to hell, and by hell i mean a big pit i managed to escape from as a child, and a spinal injury that can be healed in a week by some calisthenics and the nurse i've provided."

Bruce was in that prison rehabbing and attempting to escape for something like 5 months

sorry it's been awhile since i saw it, i didn't realize the extremity of the flash-forward. how long were the cops trapped underground then?

same amount of time, during which I believe Bane kept feeding them? it was alluded to in his grand "revolt and take over" speech iirc, I think as a tactic to paint himself as reasonably as possible for a dude who just isolated and took over a major city to make his "rise up and govern yourselves" speech resonate

although really it seemed like what was really happening was that the criminals basically took over and ate the rich while everyone else just hid in their houses and hoped they looked poor enough to ignore

russia iirc

really the relative speed of the revolution was the only thing that made me roll my eyes

what about the relative speed with which batman got from a pit in the middle of nowhere to inside gotham

unless bane forgot to take his wallet

eh

honestly wacky plotholes, tiny or large, in blockbusters are kind of only annoying when you're not otherwise engaged

i feel like these kind of discussions are the saddest result of batman's shift away from giant pennies and feeding bombs to sharks

dude this movie ends with him feeding a bomb to sharks

well now i don't know what to believe

in my script for The Dork Knight...Really?!?! when Batman gets out of the pit and throws down the rope, he then goes to an adjacent payphone to call alfred, using his bat credit card

or maybe i'll have him pull out an iphone and ask siri where he is - seems more topical

"Where am I? And after you've told me, connect me to a giant frickin' bomb disposal company in Gotham..."

I am trying to remember how long Bruce had until the bomb blew up when he got out of the pit; I wanna say a week?

and by the time he gets there, only twelve hours are left?

So that's what was going through his mind as he was flying over the bay...
"Dammit, if only I hadn't stopped off at that roadside diner for a meal on my way back to Gotham, I'd have been able to get rid of this bomb and still had time to fly out of range of the explosion..."

You're here, outside a medieval prison pit in the middle of nowhere. Gotham City is there, on totalitarian lockdown for months. You need American Express Travellers Checks.

given Bane's influence over the prison, I am surprised that the first person he ran into didn't just toss him back in there

That would have been *amazing*.

still don't understand why bane doesnt LOVE batman for killing the man who separated him from his true love, when we find that out his massive all-encompassing anger @ him just becomes nonsensical

and retroactively makes the movie even less care-about-able

and talia's "i hated my father. until one day i didn't and i decided to worship him enough to kill batman in the most convoluted way possible."

"welp i guess today's the day to stop hating my father, guess i have to get revenge now w/e"

it's tempting to do some "TDK did this right, TDKR this wrong" but really it's not a binary so much as a matter of degree. I liked the action bits in that more, the dialogue more, the performances more, but it's not to say it didn't have its share of portentous dialogue and plotholes too

naw there's lots of shit in TDK but it at least had heath ledger and some action scenes that were pretty fun and shot at night

TDKR reminded me of the latter matrix movies where all of the sudden everyone was taking everything way too seriously and expecting you to be invested in dumb story shit no one cared about

IIRC, Talia hated the warlord married to her mother who threw her mother into the jail, not Ra's al-Ghul who was the mercenary who was her real father and came back to liberate everyone from the jail and overthrow the warlord; ergo, her adoration for Ra's and her dedication to his cause is entirely consistent.

honestly ppl, it's okay to dislike a movie without inventing shit about it

why did bane hate batman ANSWER ME THAT

because he betrayed the League of Shadows in Batman Begins and because Talia hated him

lame