They're Remaking 'Alien' -- the 'Prometheus' thread

good luck getting a licensed one

giant white dude supremacist propaganda movie

new ending where giant white dude walks out of a shower and the whole Alien franchise turns out to be a racist nightmare he had

nc-17 version w/giant white dude cock shots

franchise crossover where giant white dude fights giant blue dude from watchmen w/cocks

deleted scene where giant why guys boss tells him he has to kill himself on earth so that there can be humans and he mutters something under his breath and his boss says what and he says nothing

alternate ending where guy pearce dies before they get to the planet so they give up and go home

deleted scenes featuring future space richard dawkins who spends the whole trip arguing with noomi rapace and stealing her sodas out of the communal fridge

guy pearce's character outed halfway through mission as the '4th man' in the radio 4 groping scandal, venture cancelled

deleted scene where the crew think its p fucked up that wayland would hide the fact that he was on the ship the whole time so they have a crew only meeting abt it, cut to charlize being all dad you know you made my job so much harder for no real reason

director's commentary reveals Prometheus is the name of the delivery guy at Ridley's favourite kebab shop

guys why is this thread 3000+ posts

we took our helmets off

because this movie is 30+ mins

deleted scene where the giant white guy wakes up and the first thing he does is a funny rap

deleted scene where the giant white guy wakes up rubs his eyes stands up looks around sits down rubs his eyes again runs his hands over his head smacks his lips opens his eyes real wide then closes them a few times and asks wait so who are you guys

deleted scene where the giant white guy wakes up, claims he wasnt asleep

deleted scene where the giant white guy doesn't wake up

think about it

they keep poking him and hes all leave me alone tryina sleep and flails his arm at them

deleted scene where lab results come back and it turns out the facehugger was benign

michael moore documentary follows progress of patient through NHS, after six months on a trolley they finally devise a 16 hour procedure and manage to save the facehugger

deleted scene where the one guys dares the others to take off their helmets and theyre all no im not taking off my helmet on this alien planet you must be srsly mentally ill

deleted scene where they all talk abt what a fucked up guy the robot is

deleted scene where the robot sits in his room jacking off to Lawrence of Arabia for 3 hours

then goes and asks guy pearce why he gave him a robot cock but no robot ejaculation reflex

deleted scene where someone says is it racist to say i dont trust robots

did you guys ever see Pandorum, is this better or worse?

― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, October 12, 2012 5:10 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's a pretty fun SPACE MADNESS b-movie. not easily comparable.

I forgot about the "our DNA is identical," scene, seriously, it's like they just threw in every stupid wrong idea about science they could find. only thing this movie was missing was a geeky teenager to hack the alien ship

The right-before-credits reveal of the xenomorph-lookin' dude popping out of the engineer corpse has to be one of the most groanworthy moments of modern cinema

― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Saturday, October 13, 2012 1:23 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also yeah this really should have been just replaced with the alien scene from spaceballs

dying at all these deleted scenes

delete scene where crew watches Alien and concludes that the takeaway is not to run after the ship's cat.

shit, "deleted"

it was so unrealistic that they went looking for the cat. god, stupidest ship mechanic EVER.

and in aliens, when the proximity sensor seems to indicate the aliens are inside the room but they're actually above the ceiling, does ripley not remember when they made the EXACT SAME MISTAKE in the first alien?? costing dallas his life?? guess what, life is in 3-D boneheads!

action movie cat is action movie cat

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d172/jend1212/IGN/355e4602.gif

people already tried that tack Tracer. It's not going to work

:D

deleted scene where squidbaby is in noomi's stomach and not her uterus

deleted scene where the captain, right after explaining the plot of the movie, explains what happens in the possible sequel

deleted scene where the scientists say "LOL we are clearly not real scientists, glad we scammed our way onto this ship, what a vacation am i right?"

on second viewing it becomes really clear that management didn't give a shit about hiring good scientists and just went with whatever jerks were willing to go into stasis for a couple years for a paycheck

only semi-competent people are the archaeologist/anthropologist bunch, the actual ship's crew (captain, two other dudes), and the weyland fam (david/vickers/old man)

"Man, after the Koch brothers took control of the US and killed off any actual scientists, life's been easy when it comes to hiring cheap!"

actually the captain and the two other dudes, who vote to stay on board as they ram the engineer's ship, are the only non-assholes

I think they did a reasonable job of killing everyone who had been shown on screen, but the ship really just has too many people. Lady doctor-type and her helper I think follow Weyland on his trip into the ship and get killed?

the scottish lady doctor seemed pretty competent no?

btw

Your Amazon.co.uk order of "Prometheus - Special Editi..." has been dispatched

I think with the exception of people I mentioned the competence level was inversely proportional to the amount of time they spent on screen

it was a bit shit how easily she went down when abortionee lady clocked her but i guess you don't fuck with Mom Rage

milton yr music post are one of the only reasons i keep reading ilm, so yr rabid enthusiasm for this piece of shit is just baffling to me - i mean, you were already REALLY reaching when you started comparing it to zulawski, never mind nigel kneale, or ken russell. ridley scott has never been in their league even when operating at his creative peak... 30 years ago! prometheus is just SUCH a lumpen hodgepodge of v v old and tired generic material - like, i recently saw Forbidden World, which is this great early 80s roger corman-produced Alien knock-off, and it's 100 times more lively fun. i guess i'm trying to say - prometheus is very very commonplace.

― Ward Fowler, Saturday, October 13, 2012 8:39 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

long xpost -- I feel like I've done overtime qualifying my enthusiasm for this film precisely so that I could compare it to films of actual quality without insulting anyone, but evidently not enough, because there's nothing in your post I disagree with. though perhaps I don't watch much television to realize that the unbelievable incompetence of the dialog & acting is more commonplace and less spectacular than I take it for

after the '100% DNA match!' scene made me and my friend laugh out loud in the theater, I turned to her and said "this is a film that can do absolutely ANYTHING it wants' -- at that moment everything I'd been holding against the film sort of inexplicably slid into the plus column. contenderizer's post upthread ending with "i honestly had to believe that every single character in the film had simply gone insane" -- that's a concise description of maybe 2/3rds of all my favorite movies.

that being said: rented the DVD this weekend, watched the deleted scenes, and they were all so uniformly terrible that it discouraged me from watching the actual film again -- just watched the opening & the starmap & returned it, there is only so much