ok!
-------
she makes a double life
she makes two from one and one
she makes a perfect system every day
she makes it work
she stands there in the doorway of her mother's house
looking at the grass and sky and at where they meet
never thinking thoughts like
"that's so like a line"
or
"the difference is so powerful"
or
"which way shall i take to leave?"
my mind turns to my breath
one
my mind watches my breath
two
my mind turns and watches my breath
three
my mind turns and faces my breath
four
my mind faces my breath
five
my mind studies my breath
six
my mind sees every aspect of the beauty of my breath
seven
my mind watches my breath soothing itself
eight
my mind sees every part of my breath
nine
my breath is not indifferent to itself
ten
she never thinks of possibility
or of how probably it is that they have come together
those thoughts never enter her mind
nor do thoughts of sports
she has no desire to improve her muscles
for her piano playing is the only mystery
it's so beautiful and how they do it no one knows
she gets catalogs of every sort in the mail
everything imaginable is pictured
she finds her way among the pictures without hesitation
she is not afraid of happiness
she is entirely without shame
the numbers are made of rubber or something like that
they stretch
they never lose their shape
they are ageless
they don't need repair
they need attention and respect
she thinks about two things that i know of
one is elevation and that comes clothed in light so to speak
she loathes the dark
she sleeps in light
she likes highness
four thousand one hundred twenty-eight feet here
four thousand two hundred eighteen feet there
and the body of the house itself
fourteen dollars and twenty-eight cents here
forty-eight dollars and twelve cents there
the other is proportions
coincidence isn't a mystery to her
the margin is always wide enough
forty-two or forty with twenty is always sixty-two or sixty
and i mean forty-two with twenty can be sixty as well as sixty-two
and the other way around
just as ten and twenty can be twenty-two or thirty
or twelve and twenty can be thirty
she stands there in the doorway of her mother's house and thinks these thoughts
that fourteen dollars and twenty-eight cents is more attractive than fourteen dollars
because of the twenty-eight
no one likes or dislikes zeroes
and that forty-two or forty is fixed in some way
she thinks about her father's age
she does the calculations one more time
she remembers sixty-two
thirty and some number is sixty-two
and that number with ten is forty-two
she remembers forty-two
remembers is the wrong word
she dwells on forty-two
she turns and faces it
she watches it
she studies it
it is the key
the mystery of the balances is there
the masonic secret lies there
the church forbids its angels entry there
the gypsies camp there
blood is exchanged there
mothers weep there
it is night there
thirty and some number is sixty-two
and that number with ten is forty-two
that number translates now to then
that number is the answer
in the way that numbers answer
that simple notion
a coincidence among coincidences
is all one needs to know
my mind turns to my breath
my mind watches my breath
my mind turns and watches my breath
my mind turns and faces my breath
my mind faces my breath
my mind studies my breath
my mind sees every aspect of the beauty of my breath
my mind watches my breath soothing itself
my mind sees every part of my breath
my breath is not indifferent to itself
she waked at ten
she remembers ten
she left the dark at ten
she waked in light
so forty-two or forty or forty-four is fixed
fourteen dollars and twenty-eight cents is more attractive than fourteen dollars
it's just that way
the firmness of it is a consolation
three men have loved her
one a decade on the average
uncertainties are wrong
in this scene there is one shot
giordano bruno comes to mind
whoever he is
she is in the doorway of her mother's house
she faces south
we see it two ways
first is the house behind her
and the great northern constellations
she looks away from difference and discrepancy
magnetic north
true north
the north star path
it's too like the calculations
except that ten and forty-two are fixed together
we are looking west
she is on the right edge of the shot
she is earth
we are the sun
people are gathered in the backyard
this is the celebration of the changing of the light
they do it as often as they can in summer
they come to talk
they pass the time
they soothe their thoughts with lemonade
they say things like
she never had a stitch that she could call her own, poor thing
and
harold's still president over at the bank, ain't he?
and
now if i was doing it
and
she didn't cook much, never really had the time, you know
and
i wouldn't say that, not at all
they are the planets in the scheme of things
giordano bruno shot
the problem is the arc
the changing angle of the shot
it defies geometry
drawings of geocentric solar systems
when you meet them in the books
make us avert our eyes
heresy is heresy
we make one great weird curve
from the east edge of the backyard
looking west
she is on the right edge of the shot
across
following the equator of the backyard
to the west edge
looking east
now she is on the left edge
at some point midway we face
both looking at the center
the center is between us
except that for the purpose of the shot
or the interests of economy
she doesn't move
she is standing in the doorway of her mother's house
the doorway to the back porch
the backyard is the south
behind her the great northern constellation
rises in the majesty of its architecture
well, maybe that's a little too much
let's just say that
contradictions are behind her
and in the backyard
god
this set of circumstances
that is indescribable
with our geometry
a picnic of sorts
a celebration of the changing of the light
and we glide through that chaos facing her
watching her
studying her
not circling her, remember
circling, but not circling her
she is circling
we are circling
now she is on the left edge
caught still in her accounting of those three decades silently
she is so beautiful
a "pre-industrial" equation
god, this is sentimental
this is the hour of the mystery of the barnswallows
one
where do they go in daytime?
two
do they never rest?
three
when you buy them in the store, made in china
on the end of strings
they do exactly what they do alive
four
how is that possible?
the idea of the changing center is not in anything we make
our toy is run down
on the other end of course
the chinese are said to not take pictures
at least not of the outside
six of one
two times three of one
five plus one of one
nine minus three of one
half a dozen of another
it would be perfect if
as we made the great curve
through the heavens of the backyard
providentially or accidentally
depending on your point of view
each of the planets would move exactly in the path
and at the speed
and with the purpose of the expression
of the other idea
maybe that's too much to wish
giordano bruno
i think they burned him
he was too positive
fight fire with fire
in this shot he is wrong about the larger order
whatever that means
there is just the sun and earth
and some center that they share
all other facts in this heaven:
one has climbed the tree
two are eating watermelon
one always says it's getting late
one succeeded at the plant
one works at the bank
the specialists
they are just (dirt lines?) seen wrong
sundown, one
the time it disappears
gloaming, two
the twilight dusk
crepuscule, the twilight, three
the half-light
twilight, four
pale purplish blue to pale violet
lighter than dusk blue
civil twilight
until the sun is up to six degrees below horizon
enough light on clear days for ordinary occupations
nautical twilight
until the sun is up to twelve degrees below horizon
astronomical twilight
until the sun is eighteen degrees down more or less
clair de lune, five
greener and paler than dusk
dusk, six
redder and darker than clair de lune
dear george
what's going on?
i'm not the same person that i used to be.
― half-worm inchworm tapeworm (donna rouge), Friday, 24 August 2012 22:24 (eleven years ago) link
seven months pass...
nine months pass...
one month passes...
two months pass...
four years pass...
two years pass...