It's pretty certain that I just got my first post-college job today. Let's discuss when we were new to office environments.

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a 40 year olf man who never showered, slept in the same bed as his mother, and masturbated every afternoon in the mens' toilets immediately upon finishing his lunch.

and he talks about all this? goddamn

― .stet., Thursday, 15 March 2007 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

ok, mickey, did you seriously consider this as a job since you, y'know,... had a P.O. and thus have a record (that isn't downloadable wink wink).

I kind of agree with Mickey. Why shouldn't you be a p.o. if you've got a record? I would have thought it would give you more authority, more empathy with the client, and greater all-round credibility.

― accentmonkey, Thursday, 15 March 2007 18:52 (seventeen years ago) link

open doors

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Thursday, 15 March 2007 18:54 (seventeen years ago) link

ENBB, those coworkers sound awesome! what do you hope to do when you get out of school? what are you studying?

― modestmickey, Thursday, 15 March 2007 18:57 (seventeen years ago) link

masturbated every afternoon in the mens' toilets immediately upon finishing his lunch

If you had just said "masturbated every afternoon in the mens' toilets" I'd have been grossed out, but if it's a standard after-lunch thing ... you know, maybe it settled his stomach, aided digestion, sent him back to his desk relaxed and refreshed. There's something almost cute about having an everyday post-meal wank.

― nabisco, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:00 (seventeen years ago) link

If you had just said "masturbated every afternoon in the mens' toilets" I'd have been grossed out, but if it's a standard after-lunch thing ... you know, maybe it settled his stomach, aided digestion, sent him back to his desk relaxed and refreshed. There's something almost cute about having an everyday post-meal wank.

You know, I never thought about it that way before! heh.

MM - I'm going to talk to women about their bits. ie. I'm going to study women's health and want to work in sexual/reproductive health advocacy and promotion. I'll probably end up working in a hospital or school.

.stet. - He volunteered the info about sleeping in the same bed with his mother as if he didn't think this was a problem. I found out about the business in the toilets one night when out drunk with other less mental colleagues and the men all admitted that they'd heard him at it. Oh yeah - apparently he made no attempt to hide his, ahem, pleasure.

― ENBB, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Honestly, I'm imagining a world where it's totally customary and normal for everyone to have a wank and a short nap after lunch, and it doesn't seem like the worst idea. It's like France, only better.

― nabisco, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

You may be on to something. The world would probably be a much more relaxed and peaceful place. You should start a campaign to make this dream a reality.

It's like France, only better still has me laughing.

― ENBB, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:38 (seventeen years ago) link

speaking of jobs i may have to pick between two job offers in the next week or so. im a little torn because:

job a - sort of a glamour job, working with other young, edgy people in television, will probably be sent to SXSW and other fun type things for work. will either pay about what i make now, or maybe even slightly less.

job b - sort of a typical office job, in marketing dept of a well-known restaurant chain headquarters, probably pays about $5k better than i make now, at least.

whatamigonnado? although lets be serious, i probably won't be offered both positions.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:46 (seventeen years ago) link

job a sounds horrible. nothing worse than taking ostensibly "fun" things and turning them into a job.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

well i was kind of excited about job a for a while, but now i'm realizing i hate edgy, young people and working with them could potentially be awful.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

plus there's other sensible things like job b will pay better, offer better benefits, and probably be more likely to move up in the company there.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

job a sounds great, but i'm sure you expected me to say that

― modestmickey, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Unless job a is EXACTLY what you want to do or directly on your roadmap towards EXACTLY what you want to do, go for job b.

― HI DERE, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Agreed - job b.

― ENBB, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:53 (seventeen years ago) link

(My rationale: There is no point to taking a job that you aren't completely infatuated with if it is going to pay you less money. The $$$ from job b will help finance other fun, soul-fulfilling things besides work.)

― HI DERE, Thursday, 15 March 2007 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

ENBB-
I don't understand how you can think going into reproductive health/advocacy is a good choice for you when you are basically ridiculing people you work with. I suggest you read up about privacy issues for clients, since both the people you mentioned could, potentially, be clients in a health care clinic.

I'm being bitchy about this, yes - but it's stunning to me that you don't see any connection between making fun of your co-workers and, um, getting a job in a field like, um, reproductive health and advocacy.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

waht

― HI DERE, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Aimurchie - well yes you are being rather bitchy and I don't really see your point since I do not currently work in a clinic or healthcare setting so that these are not clients of mine. Furthermore I didn't post their names and or info. Also, I didn't really ridicule them. I think that's a gross exaggeration. Also, I have read up on patient confidentiality issues. Thanks for the suggestion though.

but it's stunning to me that you don't see any connection between making fun of your co-workers and, um, getting a job in a field like, um, reproductive health and advocacy.

It's stunning to me that you do.

― ENBB, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:24 (seventeen years ago) link

privacy issues and confidentiality issues are quite prevalant in reproductive health/ advocacy Dan.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah A but in her defense her coworker stories were largely about public behavior, not anything where she has some ethical obligation to protect anyone's privacy. (I think we all hope toilet-stall masturbation can someday fall under "reasonable expectation of privacy," but for some reason we haven't made it yet.) I don't think there's any reason to assume she wouldn't know the difference between confidential health-care interactions and funny public workplace quirks.

― nabisco, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Exactly. Thank you.

― ENBB, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

But Aimurchie, I totally appreciate you taking the issue really seriously, especially given what happened last time I peed.

― nabisco, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:35 (seventeen years ago) link

privacy issues and confidentiality issues are quite prevalant in reproductive health/ advocacy Dan.

Others have already said this but how precisely is recounting stories about other people's PUBLIC behavior an indication of a violation of privacy/confidentiality in a completely unrelated field?

― HI DERE, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Is there any difference in the amount of time (official and unofficial - thinking about work, dealing with things at home, etc.) you'd be putting in with either Job A or B?

― milo z, Thursday, 15 March 2007 20:43 (seventeen years ago) link

My apologies, ENBB. I was totally over- reacting. I'm sure you will thrive in the reprodcutive health/advocacy field.
I think I am trained to be overly sensitive (not such a good skill on an internet message board). i also work in reproductive health and rape/trauma support, so I tend to react to certain scenarios, i guess, and want to change the language.

You would THINK my training would make me compassionate to Mickey, but I still don't quite get it.
Whatever, I spend a lot of time combatting stereotypes, so I react to "This fat guy is..." by defending the fat guy.
Hope this explains my reaction, and why I am forever arguing on certain threads.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 15 March 2007 21:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Milo, funnily enough, I have a co-worker who already works at job A, and she works crazy hours.. so Job A would probably be more mentally taxing, too. Job B is sounding better and better.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 15 March 2007 22:23 (seventeen years ago) link

er, I meant FRIEND not co-worker. Jeez.

― homosexual II, Thursday, 15 March 2007 22:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I know this is common on ILX these days, but...
this is also out of order in terms of me making a post and getting replies. I seem to be behind....
oh, whatever, I already apologized and explained.
Mickey should thank me!

― aimurchie, Thursday, 15 March 2007 22:36 (seventeen years ago) link

uh, i think i lost track of the conversation. why do i owe you thanks?

― modestmickey, Thursday, 15 March 2007 22:39 (seventeen years ago) link

I derailed your thread...but, well, let's get back to your question.

― aimurchie, Thursday, 15 March 2007 23:04 (seventeen years ago) link

oh. thanks!

― modestmickey, Thursday, 15 March 2007 23:17 (seventeen years ago) link

aimurchie = No worries. I was just really taken aback and surprised that you made that connection between the two things. Sorry if I was overly rude in my response to you.

― ENBB, Sunday, 18 March 2007 18:28 (seventeen years ago) link

ENBB -You were actually quite polite! I was very much out of line.
I hope you are going forward with your goals.
The world needs more reproductive health care advocates, that's for sure!

― aimurchie, Monday, 19 March 2007 01:10 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate to tell you this Mickey, but office hotties do exist, esp. in the world of temping. In a few of the jobs that I have temped (particulary the ones in an office environment), there were normally about two or three girls that were young, slender, and looked super-hot in tight pinstripe slacks and low-cut button-down blouses. Also, in menial office work, there is an absurdly high ratio of females to males so your odds of hooking up are pretty good (just make sure that she initiates all the flirting). Best of luck. [/perv]

Also, the good thing about business casual is that you can bend it pretty far towards stylish. The cut of your clothes will make a big difference between looking smart and looking schlubby. If it has to be oxford-and-khakis, go balls out: get some brown loafers and tie a sweater around your neck.

― naus, Monday, 19 March 2007 01:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Best office work: being a single female tech on a helpdesk of cute young gothy tech guys. Ratio: in Trayce's favour. Or um. Something.

― Trayce, Monday, 19 March 2007 01:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Also, the good thing about business casual is that you can bend it pretty far towards stylish. The cut of your clothes will make a big difference between looking smart and looking schlubby. If it has to be oxford-and-khakis, go balls out: get some brown loafers and tie a sweater around your neck.

dear little baby jesus, please don't let me type, 'and next, tie the sweater to a light-fitting,' for that would be plain wrong of me.

― estela, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes, type it! And I'll add: get a gold watch and monogram everything.

― naus, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

^^post not directed at mickey, but the hypothetical horrorshow sporting khakis, loafers and a sweater tied around the neck^^

― estela, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:13 (seventeen years ago) link

estela, thank you for not direction your suicide wish directly at me. cheers, hugs and kisses

― modestmickey, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:18 (seventeen years ago) link

directing

― modestmickey, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:18 (seventeen years ago) link

i do not wish you any ill, mickey, despite objecting to some of your posts.

― estela, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:24 (seventeen years ago) link

And all I'm saying is, try to look as much like Blaine and his crew from Pretty in Pink as possible.

― naus, Monday, 19 March 2007 02:38 (seventeen years ago) link

homosexual i'd take job a but that's kinda exactly what i did in my life. and despite some angst i'm glad i did.

― s1ocki, Monday, 19 March 2007 03:06 (seventeen years ago) link

i start monday. look out office environment, here i come! you just hired a felon without even knowing, bitches!

― modestmickey, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:57 (seventeen years ago) link

homosexual i'd take job a but that's kinda exactly what i did in my life.

best sentence ever?

― HI DERE, Thursday, 22 March 2007 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

no dan the best sentence ever remains "i would just like to point out that i have been otm on this thread"

― ghost rider, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

i had another interview with job b the other day... went pretty well, they already asked me for references and asked me to come back next week. what is it with jobs having you come in for a gazillion interviews these days? . job a has been strangely silent; maybe decided on somebody else?

― homosexual II, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:07 (seventeen years ago) link

hi dere

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Wow, from reading this thread I think Mickey would be the more annoying douchebag co-worker than any of the overwieght Christian conservative women he fears.

― jon /via/ chi 2.0, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Peg wants you to know about her Lord, Jesus Christ, and the magnificence of his creation, found in jelly donut.
http://j.b5z.net/i/u/2101056/i/Fat_Peg_in_photo_house_ezr.jpg

― the table is the table, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:41 (seventeen years ago) link

i want to play it backwards!
fears he women conservative Christian !overweight the of any than worker! co douchebag annoying more the be would Mickey! think I thread this reading from...Wow.!

― aimurchie, Thursday, 22 March 2007 22:44 (seventeen years ago) link

jon whatever chi 2.0, pleasure to meet you too!

― modestmickey, Friday, 23 March 2007 05:06 (seventeen years ago) link

well job b just called to say they picked someone else over me. SO I GUESS I DONT HAVE A CHOICE ANYMORE :(

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 17:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Aw Mands. Well, it'll be an EXCITING CHALLENGE!

― Mark C, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

After seeing that gravity can be overwon by loads of hairspray (in that picture above), I believe in Little Baby Jesus.

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 17:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Summertime means that I'll hear about the state of everyone's lawn until fall. Hey guys, I had to mow my lawn twice this week!

― mh, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

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