how do i get mormons to leave me alone

It just annoys them.

I think that was his point.

As for me, I'd just mutter something about the Adam-God doctrine.

but these poor boys are working 14-hour days, underfed for the most part,a nd treated to insane brainwashing techniques

That can't be true (except 14 hr days)

YOU KNOW WHAT actually, they have a scripture in Doctrine & Covenants that says if you offer you hand to an evil spirit, they won't shake it. Missionarios always start out with the handshake, so once I kept my hand by my side and said, "I'm sorry, I can't shake your hand." They got THE FEAR and immediately left.

This is awesome and good to know, thanks.

Offer them gin?

I wish I had a mormon problem. Instead we get door-to-door hippie peace groups around these parts. I'm great at getting rid of religious wackos but not so good with the hippies.