Acceptable or Unacceptable: Coffeeshops that refuse to serve Espresso-over-ice

I think you could go somewhere with that tbh.

z s he best solution would be for your frend to pack his cheeks with ice prior to entering the coffee shop, ordering an espresso, downing it really quickly through his ice packed mouth, then jumping on the counter and mooning the baristas with his exposed buttocks painted with "DON'T TREAD ON ME" in mustard packets

I'm going to need some smaller enemies

lol

Siege warfare against a daycare.

if I ran a coffee shop we would only serve hot water and the music would be a deafeningly loud recording of coffee beans being ground

noizepresso

if i ran a coffee shop it would be an open field where customers are invited to grow their own beans and raise their own dairy cattle. still $4.39 a cup tho.

xp ha that reminds me of a new artinsinal doughnut shop that opened near my work that was playing the uncensored version of Can I Get A at an extremely loud volume the last time I went in there. Take that, tourists.

the real question here is if it's acceptable for coffeeshops make their iced coffee by putting drip coffee on ice/in the fridge (vs cold press).

whether or not you believe in the rigid application of the customer is always right, retail contexts are not just sites of pure exchange and are full of subtle pressures passively or coercively produced by the owners/employees

thus a boutiquey coffee shop with a solemn and hieratic devotion to good coffee, whatever that means, is essentially there to dissuade you from bad coffee in all its forms

even so.....once the customer says they want bad coffee, there is surely a ritual for giving them bad coffee, a series of stuttered/monotone areyousures, an awkward clunking of ice, the mordant stares of coffee lovers nearby, the customer's hurried shamed exit and the absolution of normal service being resumed

lol I didn't even know cold press was a thing until last week at which point I made my own and, yes, it was very good. Guess I'm going to the wrong coffee shops.

i recently asked "how do you make your iced coffee?" and the surly barista just pointed to a tank of it.

haha

re the savages topping up their espressos over ice, my whole thing is half the time they're adding half-n-half to it. Like, loads of it. Which has to taste beyond foul.

"Sir, it's clear that you hate coffee in all forms...wtf are u even doing here"

Espresso over ice w/ loads of half and half (and sugar) sounds like a pretty good approximation of espresso over ice cream.

IT IS SAVAGERY AND I WON'T STAND FOR IT

hand me my skull-cup

iced espressos sound perfect actually. most times i'm buying coffee, esp in a chain coffee shop, it's because i need to be perked up not because i want to savour the taste. and usually i need to be perked up quickly or on the move which means i don't have time to wait for the stupid thing to cool down.

i usually order iced black coffees - definitely when it's hot but usually when it's cold - cuz it's like an extra massive slap in the face to wake me up. i get terse with baristas who are confused by this simple order.

i have no opinion on people who do the latte trick. i have no real opinion on people who put milk in their coffee other than mild disdain.

lemme back up:

reminds me of loser Deadhead fans who'd make "salad" from the nacho condiment bar at concerts.

the nacho what at the where now?

maybe bad coffee should be really expensive
espresso over ice for nine dollars
a possibly byproduct of this: people would then start ordering expensive coffee, to drink ostentatiously

or maybe the constituent parts of coffee should be broken apart, and charged like a salad, per ingredient, meaning that milk abuse would cost money

& maybe there should be the opposite of a loyalty card, but i can't think how it would work yet

xpost goole: concert arenas that serve hotdogs, nachos etc usually have a little stand nearby with kethcup, mustard, onions, jalapenos etc as hotdog/nacho toppings/condiments

cheapskate hippies would make salad from the condiments and eat it as a meal because they are lame

that is nasty enough to serve as its own punishment

onion and jalapeño salad w ketchup and mustard dressing sounds good

the original 'vegan hotdog'

stay away from me dayo, u dirty hippie

the opposite of a loyalty card, but i can't think how it would work yet

Every fourth espresso on ice w/half and half, the barista gets to kick you in the crotch.

americano is my drink yo

I never understand those

If the bean/roast isn't too dark/bitter, the best thing about an espresso is the crema, and diluting that with water ruins the taste

On the one hand, you're totally right. On the other hand, you overestimate the sensitivity of the average US coffee palate.

latte girl, me. no mess, no fuss.

a mocha if I'm feeling fancy.

it's just a different drink. espressos are delicious. americanos are like coffee but tastier.

drip coffee gives me cramping sometimes, lattes are a bit gentler on me (sorry baout tmi)

So, people have a shocked espresso in the morning and a martini with bruised gin in the evening?

i pretty much prefer a black coffee made in the japanese slowly poured drippy filter cone style than the italian espresso style nowadays. tho i like both.

re the savages topping up their espressos over ice, my whole thing is half the time they're adding half-n-half to it. Like, loads of it. Which has to taste beyond foul.

"Sir, it's clear that you hate coffee in all forms...wtf are u even doing here"

― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 June 2012 20:05 (39 minutes ago) Permalink

Which is exactly how I feel about people who order iced lattes! If you'e going to serve a shot of espresso drowned in milk and ice to the point that you can no longer taste anything other than a vague hint of coffee, why get snobby when people want iced espresso? Because you're a cheapskate cafe owner who wants to do a giant markup on adding milk, that's why, and don't bullshit me about it. Steamed milk over ice is even worse - that's fucking disgusting.

My dad always drinks his coffee w/loads of milk and sugar and I always tease him that what he really wants is melted coffee ice cream.

For that matter, why offer sugar? Let alone splenda or equal, yeesh.

feel like this is the thread that will finally lead to the destruction of ilx

this thread is like a cozy ilx blanket

I don't really do iced drinks. Maybe a blended one on a really, seriously hot day but otherwise hot coffee for me always

this thread is like a cozy ilx blanket

― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, June 26, 2012 10:03 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

totally, a bit of simulated controversy for a quiet day

also coffee, who among us does not love to drink and talk about coffee

the question is, do you even tip the barista once he refuses?

this thread - A COZY BLANKET OR THE SEED OF DESTRUCTION?

sorry, i just want to make things as dramatic as possible here

A COZY BLANKET OF DESTRUCTION

i like how when i searched for a picture of the COZY BLANKETS full of influenza that were the SEEDS OF DESTRUCTION for the north american indians, it appeared on this page

http://espressostalinist.wordpress.com/genocide/native-american-genocide/

ITT: espresso rockism

i hadn't really thought of this before, but my pov so far:
* refusing on the basis that it leads to a shitty drink is dumb, let people drink shitty drinks if they want to, especially if they're going to pay you for it
* however, people cheating and making bad but slightly cheaper iced lattes out of iced espresso and cream is pretty bad, so refusing on these grounds seems valid
* MOST IMPORTANTLY coffee shops that make "iced coffee" by pouring hot coffee over ice should be burned to the ground so i can urinate on the ashes

catering solely to people with impeccable taste (ie refusing to sell iced espresso because it's bad for the espresso) in a market dependent on $3 and $4 purchases seems like a terrible business model in the u.s. in 2012

are we tucking this cozy blanket over our feet tho?