"Why did I marry a man whose ass is made out of blocks?"
― Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 11 June 2012 13:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
"yes, they can send books directly to kindles, but they don't use wonkavision, dear"
― the acquisition and practice of music is unfavourable to the health of (abanana), Monday, 11 June 2012 15:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
"The phrase 'The Great American Novel' doesn't refer to great as in size!"
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Monday, 11 June 2012 15:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I'm pretty sure largehand isn't the opposite of shorthand."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 11 June 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
"This isn't going to work."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 11 June 2012 15:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
"The "Ted" captions they chose are all rub."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 11 June 2012 15:50 (1 year ago) Permalink
"What do you mean, 'What's wrong with this picture?' Who the hell uses the diaeresis anymore?"
― Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 11 June 2012 15:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
95% of entries to use the caption "It's my day off"
― Mark G, Monday, 18 June 2012 11:10 (1 year ago) Permalink
"My arms are tired"
― Jesu swept (ledge), Monday, 18 June 2012 11:11 (1 year ago) Permalink
alternatively: "No, it's just a costume"
― Mark G, Monday, 18 June 2012 11:13 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Elvis stole my haircut"
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 June 2012 13:27 (1 year ago) Permalink
"FUI"
― Mexès Coleslaw Massacre (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 June 2012 13:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I could punch straight through your head."
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 13:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
"After this flight, I'm gonna feel like crap tonight? Get it? Sounds like kryptonite? I'm Superman, and that was a joke about how no one likes air travel."
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Monday, 18 June 2012 13:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Laundry day."
― Never translate Dutch (jaymc), Monday, 18 June 2012 13:50 (1 year ago) Permalink
"It's not the fans, it's just a few people in white wigs and members of parliament. They got a problem because the law is from the 1800s."
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 14:03 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Supes riding coach."
― Mordy, Monday, 18 June 2012 14:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I'm excited to finally get a chance to relax and enjoy a good meal while flying."
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 14:12 (1 year ago) Permalink
"No, I'm 1940's Cartoon Superman."
― abanana, Monday, 18 June 2012 14:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I didn't notice. I can hear children screaming all over the world."
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 14:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
Hahahahaa
― Julie Derpy (Phil D.), Monday, 18 June 2012 14:51 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Pretty soon the TSA will make you wear your underwear on the outside too."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 June 2012 14:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
I get a lot of frequent flier miles
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Monday, 18 June 2012 14:59 (1 year ago) Permalink
They overbooked Wonder Woman's invisible plane.
― Mordy, Monday, 18 June 2012 15:01 (1 year ago) Permalink
"MY passport says Bruce Wayne."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 June 2012 15:02 (1 year ago) Permalink
Ebert's entry: "This way I don't get as many bugs in my teeth."
― Julie Derpy (Phil D.), Monday, 18 June 2012 15:06 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Don't freak out, but both engines failed. I'm holding this plane up with my buttcheeks."
― goole, Monday, 18 June 2012 15:15 (1 year ago) Permalink
"would you like to hear another of my superhero-themed bondage fantasies? Stewardess! 2 more vodka sodas for me and Amory Lovins, please!"
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 18 June 2012 15:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I plan on getting drunk. You'll love Absolut All-Star Superman."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 June 2012 15:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
lolz
― Mordy, Monday, 18 June 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
"i can see through your clothes. right through them. does that turn you on?"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 18 June 2012 16:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
"It could be weirder. Like, just to pick an example at random, I might be wearing luggage."
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:30 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Lol, this legroom sure isn't 'super'!"
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
"I just travel this way for the patdowns."
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:32 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Nope, just a regular guy. What is this 'air marshal' program of which you speak?"
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Yes, I started having to travel this way after I became a quadriplegic. Thanks for reminding me, asshole."
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:35 (1 year ago) Permalink
"There's a man out there."
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 17:36 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Well, the other way, I miss out on all the great deals from Skymall!"
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
All of nuts' are killing it.
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
"You're not my type."
― Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Monday, 18 June 2012 17:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
"This 'Superfriends Fly Free' promotion worked out pretty well, I'd have to say."
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:39 (1 year ago) Permalink
"It's worth it for the WiFi."
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
joedator? doesn't new yorker have a policy against using call of duty screen names as your signature?
― Philip Nunez, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
"George Reeves lives in my mouth."
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 17:43 (1 year ago) Permalink
"these luggage compartments are bigger than i'm used to."
― Merdeyeux, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:44 (1 year ago) Permalink
"And that's how I learned that teal kryptonite takes away my first class platinum pass. Weird, right?"
― s.clover, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:44 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Have you ever tried to change in an airplane bathroom?"
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 June 2012 17:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Oh, yeah right, it's impossible to reverse time by flying against the rotation of the Earth. It's totally impossible. Listen, pal, I was there, OK?"
― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 18 June 2012 17:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
"The 70s cartoon had it wrong. It's Miks-yez-pit-lik, not Mix-ill-plick."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 18 June 2012 18:00 (1 year ago) Permalink
"You're probably thinking of my cousin."
― Authorities don't know who shot the 50 Cent the goose. (forksclovetofu), Monday, 18 June 2012 18:13 (1 year ago) Permalink