Worse? That would've pushed it into the great beyond of awful. Too bad; could've been all time.
― Björk lied (Eric H.), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
Would've loved to see them holographically recreate insanely muscled, big headed Jesus doing sermon on the mount.
― Björk lied (Eric H.), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 17:13 (eleven years ago) link
this was an inconsequential&confused hybrid of a v generic alien instalment & a half-arsed 2001-type anthropocentric bit of space pondering.
the anthropocentrism cld have made an interesting film - fassbender as smithers was probably the best thing in this, esp pottering about on his lonesome in space practising one-liners doing his hair - but the ideas behind all this were vapid, they were barely there; it was impossible to share the archaeologist's enthusiasm, it wld have been better if they were fans of the original alien film. yr sat in a cinema glazing over as ppl say MEET YR MAKER over&over, a completely underwhelming climax unfolds w/ the borderline unwatchable old man who wants to live forever, & you realise that charlize theron was totally pointless.
quite pleasant to watch tho, v pretty shiny tundra. wld have been better as an interstellar food poisoning film or something
― ogmor, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
^ the review that they don't want you to read
― irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 17:19 (eleven years ago) link
The theological component of this is giving me serious pause. I mean, I'm going to see it, but it looks like a $5 matinee, 2D special to me.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 18:02 (eleven years ago) link
xposts : wow! That was both the greatest and onliest paper trailer I've ever seen!
― StanM, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 18:13 (eleven years ago) link
xxxpost: again, LINDELOOOOOOF!
― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 20:13 (eleven years ago) link
is this movie anything like Event Horizon? it looks like it from teh trailers.
― piscesx, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 20:41 (eleven years ago) link
why didn't they just get an old guy to play weyland
― ༼◍ྀ ౪ ◍ི ༽ (cozen), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 20:54 (eleven years ago) link
It's not as relentlessly creepy as Event Horizon. It's very well done but not particularly frightening. xp
― Temporarily Famous In The Czech Republic (ShariVari), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 20:56 (eleven years ago) link
One thing that puzzles me after having watched it is. How long was there between the scene of Shaw and David(in 2 parts) are seen descending from the crashed ship and taking off in the other one?Long enough to jettison a cargo? Or am I missing something, thinking that other ships on this base had similar cargoes?Like what is on the ship that Shaw has just placed in play to create more hassle across the universe?
― Stevolende, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link
was it ever explained why david infected the hot guy?
― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Wednesday, June 6, 2012 2:57 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Thought it was & that was how come Shaw who has an emotional scene about her inability to get pregnant became impregnated with the starfish monster thing. Trying to think if that was another variation introduced in this film. I thought he birth of the Giger alien was a lot more direct than having to go through 2 stages before emerging. Also that it emerged at an earlier stage in its development in the original, it bursts out of John Hurt's stomach looking about 12" long and very phallic. It seems to be adult at birth in this film.
― Stevolende, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link
this is truly one of the worst films i have ever seen, for real
i mean i was loling at the horrible bits *and so was everyone else in the cinema*
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 22:05 (eleven years ago) link
ha this film wasn't nearly as good as event horizon, make of that what you will
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 22:20 (eleven years ago) link
fassbender as smithers was probably the best thing in this, esp pottering about on his lonesome in space practising one-liners doing his hair
I could have watched a lot more of that. Lonely android in cool ship.
What bugs me is that RIdley Scott MADE Alien, he was intimately involved in the film, and yet he obviously has no real idea about why it works. At least half a dozen ILXers, myself included, have a better feel for his own creation than he does. That's depressing.
― seven league bootie (James Morrison), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:35 (eleven years ago) link
people get old
― Number None, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:36 (eleven years ago) link
What bugs me is that RIdley ScottGeorge Lucas MADE Alien Star Wars, he was intimately involved in the film, and yet he obviously has no real idea about why it works
― retro-shittified (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link
in fairness to Ridley though, he was clearly trying to make a different kind of film here. He just failed at it miserably
― Number None, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:40 (eleven years ago) link
lonely android bit just reminded me of moon
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:41 (eleven years ago) link
or, y'know, 2001
― Number None, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:42 (eleven years ago) link
specifically moon cos of the dicking about nature of his activities
"i watched your dreams" - would get an instant whack in the cyber-nads in my book
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:45 (eleven years ago) link
"I watched your dreams. There was a Patrick Wilson cameo!"
― Number None, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link
"i watched your dreams. it was like a christopher nolan film or something"
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:51 (eleven years ago) link
"also, what the fuck happened to your English accent?"
― Number None, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:52 (eleven years ago) link
"all these civilisations, on different continents, centuries apart. they all agreed prometheus sucked"
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 23:59 (eleven years ago) link
I saw this twice within 24 hours, and would see it again in a heartbeat. Love it. It's like Forbidden Planet mixed with Star Trek: the Motion Picture and a selection of front covers from 1970s SF novels. The plot doesn't make one lick of sense but it looks like what I always hope sci-fi movies would look, but never, ever actually do.
― DavidM, Thursday, 7 June 2012 00:12 (eleven years ago) link
are you David the android from the movie?
― Number None, Thursday, 7 June 2012 00:13 (eleven years ago) link
it's nothing like either of those films, it's like appalling internet fanfic
― DG, Thursday, 7 June 2012 00:16 (eleven years ago) link
I did enjoy how it looked a lot, mostly, even if it unnecessarily emphasises the tech-level disconnect between this and the Alien movies.
But I would also propose a new law: if you don't understand how DNA works, you're not allowed to use it in a SF script.
― seven league bootie (James Morrison), Thursday, 7 June 2012 00:19 (eleven years ago) link
What bugs me is that RIdley Scott MADE Alien
Yeah, but Ridley Scott didn't write Alien, or Prometheus.
― Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 7 June 2012 05:27 (eleven years ago) link
hahaha DG
― the late great, Thursday, 7 June 2012 05:42 (eleven years ago) link
Ebert 4 stars, GK thinks it's the shit
― Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Thursday, 7 June 2012 05:45 (eleven years ago) link
This was very silly.
― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 7 June 2012 05:45 (eleven years ago) link
Saw this last night, really wasn't sure what to make of it. I've avoided reading reviews/this thread, so sorry if I'm trotting out recieved wisdom, but is the consensus that it's a pretty cool, if flawed, sci-fi flick that'd seem 'better' if it wasn't related to the Alien series in any way?
― Blue Collar Retail Assistant (Dwight Yorke), Thursday, 7 June 2012 08:34 (eleven years ago) link
consensus is that it's a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
― Jesu swept (ledge), Thursday, 7 June 2012 08:45 (eleven years ago) link
haha ledge, I've been tempted to type exactly that several times. Adding merely "(with Aliens)".
― Jeff W, Thursday, 7 June 2012 09:47 (eleven years ago) link
random bits:
"the DNA is identical!" - yes, that's why i'm 9ft tall with jet black eyes, did wonder
"they were going to destroy us and then they changed their mind" - dunno, baldie was well up for some genocide until captain stringer saved the day, and they would have done it as planned had they not all been killed by whatever enigmatic creature (convenient holo-CCTV doesn't record what it is eh) punched holes in their head. what could it be?????????
"i deserve an explanation" - probably not going to be much of a sequel if they visit the aliens and its 2 hours of "ask him about this" "klaatu barada blah blah"
music was hilariously bad. infected dude looks in mirror, sees something icky... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. "isn't that how your father died? ebola?" WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (i loled)
pro tip: when running from a big rolling thing, try to run perpendicular to it, you may not get squished
the security for the ships' control centre is a flute? a fucking flute? the melody conveniently played back for all to see? might as well get david to translate the glyphs and find out that there is a password, and it is 'password'
the medical pod is men only? not enough hard drive space for female anatomy? and yeah, as pretty much everyone can guess, you don't really get up to much after a c-section, certainly not doing action hero shit only to pause and go 'oooh' occasionally. i thought the whole sequence was pretty tame really, not even as graphic as that episode of house where he gets jacked up on morphine and tries to fix his leg
all the monsters are crap. especially the alien at the end. it looks like something from the worst of the dark horse comics. purple is just not your colour honey
people are raving about robofass but he's just data from star trek really. and he doesn't look like o'toole, he looks like olivier!
― DG, Thursday, 7 June 2012 09:49 (eleven years ago) link
i'm definitely blaming Lindelof for the flute
― Number None, Thursday, 7 June 2012 09:52 (eleven years ago) link
― DG, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 22:20 (Yesterday) Permalink
EH was a much better idea.
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:20 (eleven years ago) link
ahhhhh omg i forgot about the fkn flute
― r|t|c, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:23 (eleven years ago) link
whole film not dissimilar to some bullshit dungeon in zelda come to think of it
― r|t|c, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:26 (eleven years ago) link
come now, there is a fine tradition of wind instruments in sci-fi.
http://bandbent.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/second-doctor-patrick-troughton-2.jpg
http://images.wikia.com/en.futurama/images/5/5e/Holophonor.jpg
― Jesu swept (ledge), Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:28 (eleven years ago) link
the 'engineers' look like right said fred so i suppose they should play a jam or two
― DG, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:45 (eleven years ago) link
I've just remembered one question I had that hasn't been asked yet. What was the purpose of the giant humanoid/engineer head in the chamber with all the jars (and as featured on the poster)?
Probably not important - all the characters in the movie ignore it too.
― Jeff W, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:50 (eleven years ago) link
oh yeah and isn't there a blue glowing thing on a table? and i thought one of the crew looked at it all mysteriously and said "it's just another door" but i might have misheard.
― Jesu swept (ledge), Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:52 (eleven years ago) link
to confirm 'identical' dna - "we're them and they're us" (erm) - and inadvertent comedy special effect xp
he says it's another tomb
― DG, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:55 (eleven years ago) link
oh sorry you mean the sculpture head - no fucking idea, presumably engineers just like the look of themselves
― DG, Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:57 (eleven years ago) link
xp ok that makes fractionally more sense.
― Jesu swept (ledge), Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:59 (eleven years ago) link
yeah they're pissed off there's nothing there apart from penis snake and richard fairbrass in a really bad mood
― DG, Thursday, 7 June 2012 11:01 (eleven years ago) link
ok so does this movie actually feature the alien from the movie alien, y/n
― thomp, Thursday, 7 June 2012 11:24 (eleven years ago) link