Hi Mark -- I want to offer my thoughts to you too. Strength is hard to come by in people, and I admire what I see of it in you. Fuck cancer.
― game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 29 May 2012 23:12 (11 months ago) Permalink
mark, I can't imagine what you're going through, but i'm thinking of you, and i'm glad your gp is supportive.
― dethklok piccalo (c sharp major), Tuesday, 29 May 2012 23:14 (11 months ago) Permalink
i just found out that a friend i hadn't talked to in years and years just died of cancer. he was a real joker and had strong attractive teeth. iirc he's the first person my own age who i've known to die of a disease (rather than accident/od/suicide/other). sucks. RIP, man.
― game of crones (La Lechera), Monday, 18 June 2012 00:05 (11 months ago) Permalink
I'm sorry to hear about your friend La Lechera. My mom was diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer two years ago. She beat it with two surgeries and chemo. Unfortunately, we recently learned that it has metastasized to her bones. Since we caught the initial cancer so late, I'm a big believer in the Canary Foundation's emphasis on early detection. I'm hopeful for new technologies advancing early detection. But until we get there, I'd just like to join the chorus here on ILX and say FUCK CANCER.
― Eccsame the Photon Guys (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 28 October 2012 06:28 (6 months ago) Permalink
I can't call Indiana. Radiation either worked or it didn't on Oct. 31. And I'm too much of a coward to call and ask. Girlfriend knows something is up. I'm just defeated, and I don't know what to do but shout it into the abyss of the internet.
― Eccsame the Photon Guys (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 11 November 2012 05:09 (6 months ago) Permalink
I know what I should do. I should call.
Yes. Yes you should. Whatever you hear, whatever the news, you should call. We're holding you up, we're right here, always. recognizing the fear doesn't make you a coward, it makes you human.
― Jaq, Sunday, 11 November 2012 05:20 (6 months ago) Permalink
on the day this thread gets revived, i find out that the husband of one of my cousins with whom i have had no contact in 20+ years has fought the good fight re surgery etc, and yet like with my wife, the evil lump is back, and so now they have to decide whether to fight more, or accept their fate.
to make matters worse, the family has 3 young children, one of whom is totally a 'daddys girl'.
also, i found out that an elderly aunt of mine who has also been fighting this fucking evil, now has been advised that the lump has moved into her back.
which experience tells me, things will not improve as this was the beginning of the end for my wife, and she too has to decide on the next stage.
she is frail, and relatively elderly, so its not an easy choice to make.
in other news .. i went back to work a few weeks ago, albeit on a very part time basis, and i have to say that both my boss and HR have been absolutely fantastic.
i could not wish for a more understanding set up that i now have.
as for you new folks to the thread, my heart goes out to you ...
fuck cancer. fuck cancer. fuck cancer.
― mark e, Sunday, 11 November 2012 19:34 (6 months ago) Permalink
I hope you called, Sufjan.
Mark, I'm really glad to hear that work have been so understanding. You must feel really besieged, hearing about these further cases of cancer around you.
― of course you end up shazaming yourself (c sharp major), Monday, 12 November 2012 00:49 (6 months ago) Permalink
Ditto that. I know you were under some stress/apprehension earlier that yr work weren't being all that acommodating to your situation/feelings, so its good thats changed :)
― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 12 November 2012 01:52 (6 months ago) Permalink
fuck you cancer.fuck you fuck you fuck you.how many lives ruined.how many children are missing people they love due this evil fucking disease.i thought i was coping, but today, on the day i should be celebrating 21 happy years of marriage, i need to curse long and hard at the fucking evil shit that has been given the name 'cancer'.fuck you.
― mark e, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 20:54 (5 months ago) Permalink
― ω (carne asada), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 21:01 (5 months ago) Permalink
Today I went to visit my grandmother, who lost her husband (my grandfather duh) to cancer not even a year ago. She had broken her arm and was in hospital. They had done various tests apparently. So they found a lump. A big lump in her kidney. Monday we'll know more. But seeing she lost quite a lot of weight and broke an arm... Y'know what it could mean seeing I am posting it on this thread. God damn it. This has not been a good year. Not at all.
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 6 December 2012 19:41 (5 months ago) Permalink
But on the other hand, she's in her 80s. You have to take that into perspective.
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 6 December 2012 19:42 (5 months ago) Permalink
sorry nathalie :(
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 6 December 2012 19:43 (5 months ago) Permalink
Ah, she was never a good grandmother. She was a very shitty, abusive mother. An alcoholic. Wonder if that had an impact? Probably not? But y'know I saw her a lot since my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years back. (He was an abusive father too.)
Man, I have had one fucked up year. (And fucked up family too. lol)
But it still sucks y'know.
I feel very sorry for my aunt who has had to do most of the shit. My father being in Japan and my uncle being a shit family member.
Still crying. Fuck.
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 6 December 2012 19:48 (5 months ago) Permalink
Mark, Nath - thinking about you and hoping that '13 is better for you and yours.
― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Thursday, 6 December 2012 22:14 (5 months ago) Permalink
Can I just say Fuck MS and Leukodystrophy on here? They are not cancer but just as fucking horrible. My wife had a lumbar puncture the other day to determine whether she has MS or the more destructive Luekodystrophy due to "extensive white matter lesions on her brain, quite striking for an MS sufferer of 6 years". If it is adult onset Leukodystrophy the doctor has told her it will be a more rapid decline in motor/cognitive function than MS. She is currently housebound and can only walk a few steps at a time before she falls or needs to sit down. She is constantly suffering from tiredness, vision problems, headaches and depression. She is still home educating our son who has autism, onset tourette's and epilepsy. I know this sounds like a very unhappy household, but we have a good time and it is a lot better than it sounds! I just get so fucking angry sometimes that a mother who has fought so hard for our disabled son. She has fought countless battles for him and worked so hard on his speech and language problems and then she gets hit with this shit. Anyone on this thread that have been hit any terminal disease as a sufferer or a partner to a sufferer or family - I feel your pain and wish you all the best.
― Damo Suzuki's Parrot, Friday, 7 December 2012 00:26 (5 months ago) Permalink
Damo, obviously you can say fuck MS and Leukodystrophy. I wish you and your family the best as well.
― We Got Hasheem (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 December 2012 05:48 (5 months ago) Permalink
yeah damo, go for it. I'm so sorry about yr wife, that's so rough. My sister in law was diagnosed with MS last year, I def sympathize.
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 7 December 2012 06:04 (5 months ago) Permalink
i have a line manager and a boss.over the last 18 months they have both been brilliant re my situation.
anyway, this week i returned to work after taking the festive season off.then a couple of hours ago the boss (who rarely talks to me personally), asked to see me in an office.after the basic chit chat, he then tells me that he has terminal cancer (primary = bowel, secondary = liver), with a matter of months to live.this man is my age, 44, the healthiest person i know (diet, fitness freak etc), and has 2 v. young children (one is 3, and the other a few months).he wanted to tell me the full story as opposed to the official line that he has announced to the company i.e. he is going to be cured by the chemo. i guess so he could talk openly about his situation with me.this is a good good man and once again, this evil fucking shit is going to destroy a happy little family.
i'm fucking gutted for him and his gang.
and to think i had tried to start 2013 afresh with a whole new outlook ..
― mark e, Thursday, 10 January 2013 14:50 (4 months ago) Permalink
― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 10 January 2013 14:53 (4 months ago) Permalink
cheers, dr m, but no apologies needed for me
its just another case of how fucked up life and this evil shit is.
[he also revealed to me that he had read my blog - which must have been tuff for him as it kinda mentions stuff from the other side of the situation i.e. the surviving partner]
also, morbs genuinely hoping your experience goes well this year ...
― mark e, Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:00 (4 months ago) Permalink
Oh shit. Keep an eye on yourself Mark, this sounds like it could be pretty rough for you
― impound the alarm (NickB), Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:24 (4 months ago) Permalink
What do you tell your boss? Having gone through what you went through, mark, what would you tell anyone facing the same thing?
― pplains, Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:25 (4 months ago) Permalink
well, thats a whole story unto itself isn't it.i started saying certain things, and then stopped as i thought this is too much for him.so, i said that if his wife wants to chat to me and ask me anything at anytime, then i'm there for her.of course, i suspect that she, like me, will be in a form of denial, and not wanting to face up to the reality .. as for my boss - he is a very controlled, precise character. he is all about project management .. flow charts etc and seems to be approaching this in the same manner.needs to know everything, but yes, i did stop from saying certain things ... but he wants to have everything sorted out before the end game kicks in, and was asking what needs to be done to make things easier for his wife ..
― mark e, Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:38 (4 months ago) Permalink
why is he still working?
― things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:39 (4 months ago) Permalink
he isn't.he came in today to tell the team ... suspect that will be it bar the odd pop in session ...
― mark e, Thursday, 10 January 2013 15:41 (4 months ago) Permalink
this sounds like it could be pretty rough for you
as per the usual way things work for me, this has proven to be correct ...
i hate delayed reactions like this ...
― mark e, Thursday, 10 January 2013 18:26 (4 months ago) Permalink
Oi, never dreamed I'd post to this.
A friend (in her 50s) had cancer before I really knew her, in 1999, and it'd been gone for years, only to come back in 2011. Prognosis was mixed at the onset and we were never really sure what her chances were, but we knew it was going to be rough.
I wouldn't pretend to put this in the same category as situations above, as having immediate family members or having it yourself is far worse. But, it may sound weird, but even at 32 yrs old, I've not had a friend pass away before, and certainly not of cancer. And while I hadn't been in close contact with this person in quite some time, we were a part of the same Caroling Company and I just saw her the day before my birthday, and she looked a bit emaciated, but, for the first time, also felt defeated, and couldn't pretend to put a positive spin on it.
I just got word from my best friend today (who was much closer to her, as he's been in this company with her for years) that she's likely not going to be around much longer, because it has spread to her brain.
I'm still having trouble processing it, I'm feeling guilt for not having visited her in the hospital prior, and although I've been doing my usual thing where I suppress all emotion since I'm afraid of feeling any kind of emotional pain, I've not been able to. This is just horrible.
― NINO CARTER, Monday, 14 January 2013 18:15 (4 months ago) Permalink
soon to be mother-in-law fighting stg 4 gallbladder cancer for over a year and she has been doing ok all things considered. she just want to be able to enjoy her daughters wedding but at this point we are not even sure what state she will be in next month. she was at here treatment today and complained about her hip hurting her and they nonchalantly say "oh it might have spread to the bones" FUCK THIS SHIT FOR REAL. i'm so fucking angry right now , i swear i may punch someone in this office if they fuck with me today.
― ω (carne asada), Wednesday, 16 January 2013 21:34 (4 months ago) Permalink
― ω (carne asada), Wednesday, 30 January 2013 21:51 (3 months ago) Permalink
oh no .. :(
― mark e, Wednesday, 30 January 2013 23:00 (3 months ago) Permalink
this is just so fucked up. 2013 not shaping up to look any better then the last year
― ω (carne asada), Thursday, 31 January 2013 17:48 (3 months ago) Permalink
I'm sorry :(
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 31 January 2013 17:50 (3 months ago) Permalink
this has been a tough fucking week. she's currently in the hospital with little hope of getting back out. radiation treatment starts today with hopes of just alleviating some of her pain due to the cancer in her bones. they have already discover tiny fractures in her spine and hip. we are probably going to cancel our wedding that was set for the end of the month. It's astonishing how quickly things have deteriorated in the last couple of weeks. i just had to vent a little as i'm here at work while my fiance is at the hospital with her mom and giving me updates as things seem to change by the hours.
― ω (carne asada), Thursday, 7 February 2013 16:57 (3 months ago) Permalink
dates such as this hit hard.i miss my best friend more now than ever before.i miss my wife,i miss my happy life.i miss the laughs.i miss the arguments.i miss the stress.i miss the warmth.i miss the control and direction.basically : i miss you tiina.fuck you cancer.
― mark e, Sunday, 10 February 2013 01:32 (3 months ago) Permalink
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 10 February 2013 01:43 (3 months ago) Permalink
so so sorry for your loss mark e. no words can help but love and strength to you.
― available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 10 February 2013 02:06 (3 months ago) Permalink
I can only say the same. Sorry, love to you, mark and carne.
― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 10 February 2013 06:35 (3 months ago) Permalink
I'm so sorry Mark.
― go to party leather (ENBB), Sunday, 10 February 2013 14:09 (3 months ago) Permalink
my thoughts are with you guys carne and mark.
― 乒乓, Sunday, 10 February 2013 15:45 (3 months ago) Permalink
thinking about both of you
my uncle, who's 52 or 53 and just 2 weeks ago got an autologous SCT for multiple myeloma, was just transferred to the ICU with what sounds like a pretty bad nosocomial pneumonia. dammit
― manti 乒乓 (k3vin k.), Sunday, 10 February 2013 17:18 (3 months ago) Permalink
best of luck to both of you
― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Sunday, 10 February 2013 20:05 (3 months ago) Permalink
sorry k3v. I can esp relate since i'm gonna go through that procedure very soon.
― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 10 February 2013 20:18 (3 months ago) Permalink
horrible to hear of this, thoughts with you guys.
― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Sunday, 10 February 2013 21:48 (3 months ago) Permalink
can only echo what's above.
today my wife and I saw a pretty young woman stand up in front of a small group of people (we were in the front row) and announce that she had about 3 or 4 weeks to live
she said she wasn't afraid, or even sad, but grateful to have found a resolution one way or another
then she cried
it was beautiful, it WAS sad, and it was terrifying. never lost anyone this way myself but such was the felt pitch of empathy...a pre-echo, a warning...this death without choice nor reason looms before every door now
― Thomas Puncheon (imago), Sunday, 10 February 2013 23:39 (3 months ago) Permalink
I've had more people taken from me by things other than cancer - MS, strokes, heart disease and murder. Each death has the capacity to be uniquely horrible.
My love and sympathy to anyone currently grappling with mortality. Fuck cancer (and the rest).
― Confused Turtle (Zora), Monday, 11 February 2013 10:20 (3 months ago) Permalink
feeling so beaten down by all this. just trying to be there for my fiance who has been so damn strong though everything.She is my freaking hero.
― ω (carne asada), Wednesday, 13 February 2013 16:10 (3 months ago) Permalink
r.i.p. beautiful ladymother I never had. Love you
― ω (carne asada), Thursday, 7 March 2013 01:27 (2 months ago) Permalink